No one ever became noble simply by being moral. The great characters who have had their ennobling influence pass down through the ages are those who lived, labored and died for others.
Nothing endures that fails to serve a useful purpose and man, individually or collectively, is no exception. We must be of constant service to humanity or we are useless members of society.
Wowzers!! had a member in our morning "Attitude Adjustment" group channeling you. Okay since I got the message twice, I'm sure I meant to add a bit more heat and stress to my own service positions or not...hmmm maybe step up on one and bring another drunk into service on the other.
Ive got a question about service. Im a nurse and spend a compulsory 40 hours a week serving. When I was drinking (yes I am ashamed to say I drank and nursed for a living) i used to spend a lot of my time resenting patients - its hard work wiping bums, dealing with violence in the ER, working ridiculous shifts etc etc. Since becoming sober 7 months ago I have realised that I need a really big attitude change to my job and I am working on patience, listening and humility at work. I pray about this before I go on shift and ask God to help me serve my patients to the best of my ability, but sometimes I still get impatient, especially with difficult patients who buzz every 5 minutes etc. I then take my shortcomings at work to God either immediately if I can, or at the end of the shift/day. Am I on the right track??? This isnt really serving other alcoholics coz I am not up to the 12th step yet, Im up to step 4 at present. I try to be especially compassionate to the alcoholics and drug addicts I encounter at work ......I see this as service but I get paid to do this. Is there something else I can do to serve better at work?? How do others serve better at work, especially those in traditional service industries such as nursing, teaching, counselling etc??
There's a lot of info here. Let's take it one bit at a time... juliej71 wrote:
Hi all,
Ive got a question about service. Im a nurse and spend a compulsory 40 hours a week serving.
I wonder about "compulsory" and "serving" in this statement, and 40 hours a week is the standard work-week. Are you being compeled by an authority such as a penal intitutuion and this is a way of "serving" your sentence?
or
Is this a job that by which you earn your living? Further reading suggests this is your job.
When I was drinking (yes I am ashamed to say I drank and nursed for a living) i used to spend a lot of my time resenting patients - its hard work wiping bums, dealing with violence in the ER, working ridiculous shifts etc etc. Since becoming sober 7 months ago I have realised that I need a really big attitude change to my job and I am working on patience, listening and humility at work. I pray about this before I go on shift and ask God to help me serve my patients to the best of my ability, but sometimes I still get impatient, especially with difficult patients who buzz every 5 minutes etc.
I then take my shortcomings at work to God either immediately if I can, or at the end of the shift/day. Am I on the right track???
Yes, this will look very familiar when you get to the 10th step. You're right on track.
This isnt really serving other alcoholics
No, it is being a nurse. While not exclusive (see Sister Ignatia) you are not specifically doing 12th step work.
coz I am not up to the 12th step yet, Im up to step 4 at present. I try to be especially compassionate to the alcoholics and drug addicts I encounter at work ......
That is very kind.
I see this as service but I get paid to do this. Is there something else I can do to serve better at work??
While it is being a compsionate, it is not AA service work. You are doing your job - better and with more kindness than before, and for that you are commended, but you are not spreading the message of Alcoholics Anonymous to the alcoholic.
How do others serve better at work, especially those in traditional service industries such as nursing, teaching, counselling etc??
Not all "service to others" is AA service. This might be the confusion. Everytime we serve or are kind to another human being, we are acting like better people that we used to be. Everything is right with that.
Non Alcoholics do this all the time.
Traditional methods of being able to serve others better in a general way are to be inspired by prayer, meditation or woking a 12 step program. It seems to closer to a Higher Power, the less character defects, the more we want to help others. The third step prayer comes to mind.
My wife is an RN and I'd like to say a huge THANK YOU for what you do. Very few people understand just how hard the work is (mentally and physically ) and how little you get paid for the level of education you have. Our system needs fixing in that regard and we, as a society are darn lucky that dedicated individuals are willing to step up to the challenge. A lot of us would be much worse off otherwise.
For a little boost, read the following: http://www.nursingcenter.com/library/JournalArticle.asp?Article_ID=702020
-- Edited by zzworldontheweb on Saturday 13th of November 2010 06:01:40 PM
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Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's, and unto God that which is God's.
Thanx all for your helpful replies. Still a bit confused tho. Yes I do work as a nurse by choice - I meant the word compulsory in the sense that this is what I do to earn income and support myself. In Oz service/nursing in hospitals cannot be part of court orders/restitution due to qualifications required by the State etc. Sorry for the confusion there. I suppose Im jumping the gun a little and should just wait till I get to step 12 coz the way I read step 12 is that the spiritual awakening results in carrying the message to alcoholics AND service where possible to all humankind using the 12 steps as a guide to daily living. I just read the posts on service and thought Id ask the question that had been in the back of my head. Being a bit premature......didnt mean to sound like Mother Theresa or anything on the point of being especially kind to other addicts - just that this has been a normal progression in my mind. In Oz addicts arent treated very kindly in the health system a lot of the time - through prejudice, lack of funding and lack of services to hand, especially in rural communities. Thasnks again.....God bless
Was still struggling a bit with the concept of service so went out and pushed my lawn mower round the yard for an hour and prayed about it. Here's what happened. The line of a great Oz song by the Divinyls (highly recommended) came into my mind "It's a fine line between pleasure and pain". This is what my question re service was really all about, and you were right Lin, I was confused about the difference between service and carrying the message to suffering alcoholics - but I have a reason to be confused.
I nurse in a rural community with a high population of aboriginal patients. In our country aboriginal people suffer with disproportianate rates of suicide, alcoholism, drug abuse, petrol and glue sniffing etc etc. Their average life expectancy is about 30 years less than for non-indigenous Australians. Sometimes their communities can be a bit of a war zone.
I know most of the people I nurse, both black and white. So my day might start with going to work, seeing an unconscious alcoholic beside the road on my way (happens frequently), arranging hospital transport for him/her, treating him/her, talking to him/her about stopping drinking (with some good insight at times), giving them literature (both 12 step and other rehab stuff) and waving them goodbye at the end of my shift. My nursing service is tied up with service to the suffering alcoholic in this sense.
However, I cannot go to my patients and say that I am an alcoholic and talk about what AA has done for me. My anonymity would be blown, apart from all the side issues of having to work with current Health policy etc. So the intention of my original question (though very badly expressed) was this.
Is work with the suffering alcoholic have to be measurable, visible and identified up front as 12 step work to be 12-step work? Is service work really that different when one works with alcoholics and addicts? How do blurred lines become clear in this situation? I had one heroin addict about 4 years ago tell me after nearly dying of an overdosethat he was forced to take a good long look at his addiction after I looked him in the eye and told him that he would die if he didnt stop and that he needed help. No I am NOT special, this is just part of my job. For every win there are many losses.
Dont get me wrong - I am NOT trivialising or underestimating the value of12 step work performed in any way, shape or form (my recovering heroin addict goes to 12 step meetings - he and his HP are responsible for his recovery). This is a specific question for a very specific set of circumstances. I do do the chairs at our meetings (we dont do the coffee thing here) welcome newcomers at meetings etc.
In the end I guess it doesnt really matter. God has put me in this job, in this community and with my particular set of life circumstances for a reason. I have to learn to stop chasing stuff around in my head and "Let go and let God" more and more in my daily life. Thanks for all the wisdom that you guys express in this forum - living in an isolated community can be hard at times - this gives me a window into some very different worlds that are populated with alcoholics striving to recover with the help of God and AA, just like me. God bless..........................
12 step work is altruistic in nature, which means we do it expecting nothing in return, ultimately it teaches us how to have true and healthy relationships with other people, in my opinion it helps breaks the shackles of codependency we as alcoholics have, because no one is more resistant to being controlled then an alcoholic
Virtue is it's own reward, meaning if you get something or expect something in return, it's no longer "virtue" it's something else, like a job, or "gifts with strings" or "love with strings" or a subtle attempt at manipulation, so subtle we ourselves are unaware of our own hidden agenda
being a Nurse is your job, and it's a fantastic one, but you get paid to be there, if you were to volunteer your time freely at a detox or a rehab, that would be considered 12 step work
I have known dozens and dozens of alcoholics that after they got sober, they became addiction and alcohol counselors, and every single one of them still attends meetings to do their 12 step work
At this point, if it were my sponsee asking these questions I'd ask:
What step are you on?
...ummm.....the fourth step......
uh huh....../pause........then why don't you just work on that right now? Step 12 will become clear as you get to it, you can't give away what you don't have
I do however think it is acceptable to start "practicing" steps 10 and 11, where it says "upon awakening" and "when we retire at night" on a daily basis
This thought brings us to Step Ten, which suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along. We vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past. We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code.
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone, even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.
It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities. "How can I best serve Thee, Thy will (not mine) be done." These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will.
Much has already been said about receiving strength, inspiration, and direction from Him who has all knowledge and power. If we have carefully followed directions, we have begun to sense the flow of His Spirit into us. To some extent we have become God-conscious. We have begun to develop this vital sixth sense. But we must go further and that means more action.
Step Eleven suggests prayer and meditation. We shouldn't be shy on this matter of prayer. Better men than we are using it constantly. It works, if we have the proper attitude and work at it. It would be easy to be vague about this matter. Yet, we believe we can make some definite and valuable suggestions.
When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After making our review we ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken.
On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought- life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.
In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don't struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while. What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely upon it.
We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems. We ask especially for freedom from self-will, and are careful to make no request for ourselves only. We may ask for ourselves, however, if others will be helped. We are careful never to pray for our own selfish ends. Many of us have wasted a lot of time doing that and it doesn't work. You can easily see why.
If circumstances warrant, we ask our wives or friends to join us in morning meditation. If we belong to a religious denomination which requires a definite morning devotion, we attend to that also. If not members of religious bodies, we sometimes select and memorize a few set prayers which emphasize the principles we have been discussing. There are many helpful books also. Suggestions about these may be obtained from one's priest, minister, or rabbi. Be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer.
As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day "Thy will be done." We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves.
It works it really does.
So right now you have a LOT on your plate, step 4 (why are you on the internet and not writing it??? hmmm????? (I'm teasing) and some new exercises for when you wake up and before you go to sleep at night.
Between working on your fourth step, watching for your own character defects, working on steps 10 and 11, attending meetings daily and working a full time job, that should keep you busy enough to worry about step 12 until you get to it.
One day at a time
Easy Does it
First things First
Sufficient unto the day the evil thereof
That means just today, just being present RIGHT NOW is enough of a full time job without worrying about bridges before we come to them
You are doing well, I have been reading your posts, keep on keeping on and you will be fine
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it's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful
