Over the years circumstances and situations in my life had warped my personality. Drinking was a perfect escape from the guilt and remorse that I had felt. When I came into AA I also realised that I was an adult child of an alcoholic. I blamed all my failures on my childhood but I came across this one statement in the BB,"It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worth while." Now I had no excuse for drinking. I put pen to paper and got down feverishly to do the 4th step. Made an appointment with my sponsor. Got down to the 5th step and no marks for guessing what was blocking my recovery path. A resentment for my dad.
When I realised that just like myself circumstances and situations in his life also warped him, and drinking for him also was an escape.
I decided right there to stop the cycle. My early recovery prevented my children from experiencing the same thing. Today I have two well adjusted children. I find that a family that laughs together stays together. We don't need TV to entertains us. Our breakfast table is full of laughs. It's a good medicine for resentment.
Underlying all that is full realisation that I am an alcoholic. I have got toattend AA meetings, work with newcomers and work the 12 steps.
"If we were to live, we had to free of anger."BB Pg 66.