It has been 25 hours since my last drink. I really want to give it up this time for good. I am worried about what I have done to my health and I have a young child and a sick husband (he is suffering from anxiety and depression), that I need to be strong and sober for. I have been drinking anywhere from 3 glasses of wine to two bottles of wine daily. I quit for 5 days a couple of weeks ago, and then I thought I would be ok to have one or two over the course of a weekend. Of course, it turned right back into the usual. I did not have a problem with alcohol before I got pregnant, and I never drank during the pregnancy, or even following the birth for a while. Eventually, I began to have a couple of glasses of wine a night or a couple of beers. It seems the longer I have been a stay at home mom, the worse my problem has become; especially since my husband became sick. Nobody knows about my problem. I have managed to hide it even from my husband. I think support from others who have been through it, or are going through it would help me to be strong enough to stick with it this time.
Hello InnerShell and welcome to the MIP AA board. There are a lot great and sober women here that have been right where you're at. Hang in there, the longer that you stay sober the easier it gets.
I think you are right, but get as much help as you can. This is something where it does not hurt to get more help than you might need and that includes meetings and all the support you can get from people who have been where you are at. You don't need to hide your problems. There is no shame in having a problem, admitting to it, and working on it. The shame is in never admitting it at all and letting it get worse when you know that something needs to be done. You may be in a caretaking position, but you do not have to bear the weight of everything. There is time to take care of you and you are important enough to do this.
I applaud you for recognizing you need to be sober before things get even worse. The first principle of the first step is honesty. Sounds like you are almost as sick of lying as you are of the drinking. The two go hand and hand. It seems counterintuitive, but it is when you really surrender and give up trying to master alcohol and the ability to drink normally that you actually start to win. Surrendering and stopping the awful merry-go-round of sickness and lies will set you free...Of course this is done with the help of whatever higher power you believe in....but you will figure it all out if you want it bad enough.
There are many sayings in AA...I used to think they were hokey...but I now know I need those sayings to remember how to live and not to revert back to old ways. Here is what comes to me based on your situation:
No drink is going to make your situation any better. Drinking will only make all your other problems worse.
You can give up everything (family, relationships, your dignity) for one thing (alcohol), or you can give up one thing (alcohol) to have everything (a spiritual life, serenity, your dignity, better family relationships).
Long and short....You asked for encouragement....Go for it! You can do it.
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
We are in support here for each other.Face to face meetings ,for this arrested drunk ,was always best! Keep coming back and share with us best you can..!!There are no Big I's or little U's here,just one trying to help another with their experience,strength and hope!! First step, admission,total surrender to your powerlessness over the substance(alcohol) and your lifes unmanageability!!Glad you found us!!!Have a blessed day....................
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Seems like you could do with all the support you can get at the moment.*smiling*
When I kept my problems to myself - mainly through a sense of shame or a feeling that I SHOULD be able to handle everything on my own - nothing changed - other than got worse. I got desperate.
When I reached out for help I was astonished at the help and love people showed me. I didn't want to be suffocated by it or other people so was still a little wary. But by telling others I realised I wasn't alone. Others had walked in my shoes.They could and did help me.
A call to your local AA helpline would be a really good idea I think. .....and to get to a meeting if you can.......would be wonderful. But just to talk to another AA even if it's just on the phone to begin with I think would help. (Even if you've done that before - our perceptions can change)
You do not have to go through this alone. You don't have to try to stop drinking on your own. I couldn't do it on my own, I tried time and time again and it just got worse. AA taught me that once I picked up that first drink I was powerless. I would go a few days without drinking, tell myself Hey! I can control this, pick up a drink and end up in a horrible place. Horrible.
There are some beautifully caring loving women in AA. I think they would love the opportunity to be there for you.I know I would.
You can do this - I promise you you can.........I did, but I couldn't do it on my own and I truly believe that looking back, I wasn't meant to be handling all this stuff alone.
With love and support, Louisa xx
-- Edited by louisa on Friday 5th of November 2010 06:15:48 AM
Welcome Shelly! Glad you came to the board to seek encouragement. Like others have said; it's time to put away the bat and seek help. We aren't responsible for our diesase, but we are responsible for what we do about it once it's acknowledged. Keep posting here and let us know how it's going. This is a WE program. Together WE can stay sober and recover.
Shelly, after i was layed of from my job i began drinking earlier and earlier in the day, and i could no longer hide it. it took a dui for me to get help, actually 2 dui's.... i am especially hard headed and did not want help with my alcoholism... but the court demanded it. that is what it took for me. i removed all alcohol from my house to make it more difficult to get. the things that helped me most were meetings, doing things with people who did not drink, helping out in my community (doing community service, even after i finished with my court ordered community service) calling people on the AA meeting list of phone numbers so i could just say hi (when thoughts of drinking plagued me) hearing about other people's problems made my problems seem much more manageable. learning to pray for those i did not like helped. that can take awhile. but one day at a time my Higher Power helped me, through the Big Book, through people, through meetings, through prayer. and i got a sponsor. one minute at a time.... find ways to get out of your own head. jj/sheila
-- Edited by jj on Friday 5th of November 2010 01:35:31 PM
Hey Shelly welcome. Congrats for coming on here and making a decision that you want change. I thought that I would never be able to go day without a drink. AA has made it possible, and changed my life almost beyond recognition. This site has been a really big help in that respect, especially at first in very early sobriety.
Keep coming back -- we stay sober by working together.
Along with the others I am in support of your never having another drink of alcohol... which was an impossible thought process for me when I was in your place. I don't relate to pregnancy cause I'm the "other" gender however I do relate to alcoholic drinking and wanting to and not being able to just stop. You're right in saying you need help...probably took a couple thousand drunks to keep me sober over my period of time in recovery. Keep coming back on a daily basis and being a part of our sobriety also. ((((hugs))))
"I think support from others who have been through it, or are going through it would help me to be strong enough to stick with it this time."
If you are an alcoholic, for a while support from others will help. But only for a while.
Page 43, paragraph 4: "Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power."
And how does one get THAT you might ask?
From a spiritual experience as the result of working the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.
