Two weeks sober yesterday. Not having any trouble not drinking, in fact I've been enjoying being sober and other than having an attack of the "boreds" one night early on...I've been having a great time. I feel freedom.
That said, I've been having a LOT of strange dreams. I've always dreamt most every night, even when I was drinking (didn't always remember them as much) and I've had several dreams about drinking. I've always been horribly ashamed in my dreams and relieved when I woke up. Has anyone else experienced this? I've even experienced being severely drunk IN my dream. So bizarre. I've also had several dreams about my most recent ex, we broke up a year ago and are still friends. There were lots of factors to our relationship failing, but my drinking was CERTAINLY a big problem. I realize that he's one of the folks I need to apologize to but haven't done it yet--because he still loves me and has made it patently clear that he'd take me back in a heartbeat. What is WRONG with these men? My current boyfriend I've only been with for 6 months, I was honest and up front with him from the beginning about my drinking problem and he's been supportive. Now that I'm sober, I've found myself wondering why he'd plow through the first six months of some of my heaviest drinking...how did he know I was going to go to AA? What is wrong with HIM? I know for a fact that he has a bit of a "savior" complex...because I have one myself. It makes me look at him with suspicion at times, although he's my best friend. Also, since I've been not drinking, I've found myself less attracted to him. I don't know if all of this upheaval is just a normal side effect of everything I am going through. I MAY have some self esteem issues. Sometimes. My normal sober behavior is bouncy, outgoing, sort of a cut-up "class clown" type--in fact, I'm pretty sure that at my first couple of meetings the other folks thought I was probably a little drunk. I wasn't, that's just how I AM.
Again...thinking about myself too much, and probably projecting my own insanity on those around me. I'm like a ninja at that. /siggggggggggh.
I have no idea what my point is...just wanted to vent a little and ask if I'm normal for all this weirdness.
__________________
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." ~Anonymous
Hi, I too have drunk dreams fairly regularly -- I'm 8 months sober and have had them throughout the 8 months. Fortunately for me, I have never experienced panic when I wake up, just relief that it was a dream.
I have been told (by my aftercare counselor) that these drunk dreams are normal and nothing to worry about, and can last well in to sobriety and may never go away. Also, the experience in the dream may indicate where you are in your recovery. For example, in mine I'm nearly always disappointed that I drank and I'm upset I have to change my sober date. He said that could be because you are grounded spiritually and in a good place in your recovery.
A long time member once told me "you're an alcoholic, you're not going to dream about chocolate cake".
In terms of the "weirdness" you mention, I find that little things make me happy again, so I'm "up" much more frequently now that I'm sober. I think it's a good thing. Just my experience.
Aloha you two...just passing in and had to laugh at Susie's "normal" because drinking dreams use to freak me out and seemed para-normal at one time. I remember once standing over my wife at early morning hours asking her "Did I leave the house last night?"...drinking dreams were sooooo real at those times which led me to understand how important a function drinking alcohol was in my life when I was drinking. The thoughts and events became imbedded!! I went to my then sponsor (deceased since and thank you...Charley S) with the problem and he asked me, "Well did you leave the house and go out drinking?" after I responded negatively he said "Well then enjoy it...it was a freebie!!" I cannot remember having another drinking dream since. I never felt guilt or shame about my drinking...it never was a moral issue for me just always a disease.
You sound like you are going through the normal process of early recovery which is questioning everything and who you are. Be gentle with yourself. The strange dreams and them being more vivid is probably due to more active REM sleep rather than being half passed out.
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Yes,also. I had several that were very realistic seeming. Mostly around 1-5 months sober if I remember right. Now that I think on it, I can't remember having a drink dream in a while. Lately I've been busy having the work related stress-out dreams-oh so fun. I'd love to have a chocolate dream. I was loose in a candy store once. The store was the center of a labrynth that I was strenuously navigating all around some weird city.
-- Edited by angelov8 on Thursday 28th of October 2010 02:14:42 AM
Welcome to what real sleep is, it is a beautiful thing we cast aside in our drinking. In fact my first 2-3 months I was amazed at how tired I really was. Alcohols effect on sleep is well documented, so it's worth a Google search to get some info.
I have had some drunk dreams and I was so ashamed when I would wake up. I haven't had one for awhile, but I just wanted to echo what the others have said, it's a pretty common thing for us in early sobriety.
From what I've learned drunk dreams are normal. I still have them. Less frequent now. It's all part of the process. Jerry, sounds like our sponsors are from the same pedigree..... He also told me that my drunk dreams were a freebie and to enjoy them because that's the only time I can drink in safety, but if I think I can drink in safety, I'm dreaming.
Welcome to what real sleep is, it is a beautiful thing we cast aside in our drinking. In fact my first 2-3 months I was amazed at how tired I really was. Alcohols effect on sleep is well documented, so it's worth a Google search to get some info.
I know THAT'S right...I'm far more mentally perky and certainly have more energy than I did, but I am nowhere near back to my old (pre-2005) self atm. I have noticed that I fall asleep much easier (my brain actually shuts up now!) and dream a lot more. I've also lost 10 lbs in two weeks...seriously. I know it's just water weight or whatever, but I'll take it.
__________________
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." ~Anonymous
lol....I thought I would lose weight but now that Im not drinking I am enjoying all the great food I wouldn't eat because I wanted to save my calories for drinking. lol I run half marathons but still haven't lost alot of weight. But Im happy!
Relationship dynamics change a lot once we are sober. The things we desire in a relationship will change and the new Amy may not be what your other boyfriends where looking for.
Best to focus on you and your 12 step program as much as possible, that is goal #1, we are of little use in a realtionship as drunks.
__________________
Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
Just more evidence; Non-Alcoholics don't have drinking dreams! Ask the general public if they have drinking dreams and they will look at ya stupid like, "what the heck is that?" Ask an alcoholic in early recovery and their heads will bob up and down!
I was once told that a drinking dream is the only way I will ever get to drink alcohol again and not have to pick up a new white chip. I'm glad they are just dreams or I would have a shoe box full of white chips from early recovery! LOL
John
-- Edited by John on Friday 29th of October 2010 10:10:38 AM
Yes - I would be so ashamed in the morning but SOOOOO happy it was only a dream. That demon wants to get back in any way it can and dreams are no exception. Unfortunately the last time for me wasn't a dream only a nightmare and I'm fighting to get back on track and stay there. Good luck to you and congratulations on your new life.
Ha, I woke up today after a dream where I ate a codeine pill. It wasn't till I was about to take just another half a pill that I "woke" up (in the dream) and realized I was no longer sober. Based on the latter comments here, I'll go with-this proves definitely, in case I need more evidence, that I am an alkie. Even in the dream there was no way I was gonna have "just one"and I'm sure if I hadn't woke myself up in shock, there was a giant bottle of booze waiting around the dream corner.
-- Edited by angelov8 on Saturday 30th of October 2010 01:51:34 AM
