I remember my sponsor telling me something to that effect.  I was still in my first 6 months.  I didn't do 90 in 90, but I was probably going to an average of 5 meetings a week.  I had something come up that was a commitment I had made - fortunately didn't involve being around alcohol.  I told my sponsor I wouldn't make a meeting Friday night, and he said, "You made a commitment to be there, so go.  We don't get sober just to sit around in the AA clubhouse all the time".

That was a long time ago.  I've gone through many changes in my life since then, some of which gave me the opportunity to do a lot more AA, some had me reducing my AA to one meeting a week - my home group, which I never miss.  Like a lot of folks coming into AA these days, my first meeting was at a suburban clubhouse - the kind of place that stays open all day with multiple meetings.  It kind of takes the place of a pick-up bar I think... LOL.  My sponsor got me going to the more traditional church-basement type meetings.  While I certainly saw a lot of the same people in both places, I found that the church-basement meetings consisted of people who did have a life outside of AA.  Careers, families, other activities.  Some of them even went on vacation!

For many of us, the AA clubhouse is an emergency room.  It's a safe place to go hang out, for as long as we need to.  It's a great place to meet newcomers, who seem to gravitate to centers and clubhouses and not so much to the church-basement meetings anymore.  During my single years, I spent a lot more time in the clubhouse - ostensibly for the wrong reasons, but if I'm doing AA, I'm bound to get better even if I'm there 49% to look for the next cute girl.  But who am I kidding... I never picked up girls in bars when I was drinking, I rarely went to bars, and rarely had much of anything to do with girls until I got married the first time, which was a hook-line-sinker move.  My fortunes picking up girls at AA clubhouses fared no better than they had in my early drinking days at the occasional bar or party. 

My preference today - when possible - is to go to my home group without fail, and make at least one other meeting during the week.  Sometimes it's AA, sometimes it's Alanon, sometimes it's a clubhouse meeting, sometimes it's something else.  I don't always make the second meeting but I do always make the home group.  Invariably, I see people I haven't seen sometimes in years.  They've been sober, they've been going to meetings - just not the same ones I've been going to.  They have a life!  Come to think of it, so do I!  But I don't want to ever forget where that gift of life came from, or fail to do my part in passing it on.  I'm never going to be the type that lives and breathes AA and sponsors 20 people, but I don't ever want to get more than 7 days from my next meeting.  I am sober today thanks to my Higher Power, many wonderful people, and that home group commitment I made at my sponsor's suggestion (actually somewhat more than a suggestion).  My sponsor died 6 years ago this month, and he's still fondly remembered in my home group... he lives on in things he used to say, often requoted using our various impressions of his gravel voice. 

I look back on my sober years with amazement.  I'm not the kind of person who is consistent, or reliable, or who every does anything right the first time.  I can't explain why I "got" AA on the first go-round.  Sure, I kicked and screamed and railed and bitched and moaned... but I didn't drink.  I think my sponsor had a lot to do with it.  Everybody has their groove, he helped me find it - and when my groove diverged from his, he left me alone - we both also knew when to let go.

Barisax