From an apparent accidental overdose or from some sort of Xanax-dependency withdrawal reaction. But, essentially, alcoholism killed him. I'm getting into some serious self-doubt over not having helped him more. This is horrible.
(((((Rachel)))))...sorry to hear that. Let me just offer what I learned in program... No matter the intensity of my intention...I am powerless over people, places and things especially if any of that has a tap root in alcohol and/or drugs. Our disease of compulsion and allergy has three consequences...Either we get and stay sober or we go insane and/or die. I've been to toxic shock three times and certifiably insane at least once that I know (just when I found the doors of recovery). There was no one involved in my life, either family or outside services that could stop or change what I was doing and the consequences I was getting. I was getting them from my own choices (addiction) in spite of how much my family loved and cared. We were all powerless.
It took a fellowship of thousands over a span of many years to get me to the point where taking an intrest in living and growing my own life was most important and then a power much much more greater than myself held the light in front of my feet.
Turn him over and focus on the thought that whatever you did...it was the best you could with what you knew and had.
Words can't say enough......Do not blame yourself,it will keep you sick..pUT YOUR TRUST IN YOUR hIGHER pOWER TO BRING WHATEVER COMFORT YOU CAN RECEIVE!!In support and prayer......We never know when life will be stolen away,we can only try and be all that our God intended us to be and work out the details! I will pray for your peace........
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
OMG -- Rachael. I am so sorry. Loving thoughts and prayers your way on this.
I know that NOBODY could have stopped me drinking. Other people tried
It ranged from bar maid one night saying to me "Can't you just have a water?" to my mom and wife's anger, pleading, telling me that I needed AA.
So, while feeling as you do is a natural reaction, and it is EXACTLY how I would feel in your situation, now KNOW, based upon my own experience, that we cannot stop others from drinking.
But love this beautiful quote from mikef:
"We never know when life will be stolen away,we can only try and be all that our God intended us to be and work out the details! I will pray for your peace........"
Thank you. I can't tell you how much it helps me to read your responses. I look at this board often and it helps immensely to hear from those who understand my brother's sickness and can try to help me process this without blaming myself too much.
So sorry to hear of your loss. I know the pain your feeling right now, i too lost my sister to an overdose of alcohol and i experienced the guilt feelings that i could have done more, i also experienced overwhelming grief, frustration, anger, i was brought to the edge of madness and back. This is a hard time for you, time will ease the pain , though you might not think it right now. God bless you!
