Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back into the same box. --Italian proverb
Much of our time has been spent saying, "I'm not good enough for that job," "She's too good for me," or "I don't deserve that compliment." Sometimes we have been very status conscious because underneath we felt unworthy. Many of us have taken either superior or inferior roles with everyone we've dealt with. We ended up with no one who could be our peer or our friend.
True humility occurs when we stop shaming or inflating ourselves and begin accepting ourselves as no worse and no better than anyone else. Then all people are our peers. At our meetings, our powerlessness puts us all in the same box. In the sight of God we are all equal - and status games, which have seemed so important are ultimately silly.
Today, I will remember we are all brothers and sisters in the sight of God.
Thank you Larry. How true. Humility is a big part of my recovery. It's also a repeated theme in the BB. We must be humbled to create that honesty, openmindness and willingness to change. I would always size up the people or situation and place myself above or below. Most of the time it was below. That feeling of never fitting in...... Humility has shown me to accept my imperfect self and to accept others as they are(imperfect). We are all children of God. No woarse or no better than anyone else. There's a little bit of good in the worst of us and a little bit of bad in the best. I also like to keep in mind today that I have an open mind, teachable and don't need to defend my position on all subjects just to inflate myself, win and feel superior to others. I'm an equal today. Very nice. Thank you God and AA.
Having grown up in an extremely critical environment. (My mother resented me for many reasons and took her anger out accordingly,) I grew up constantly critical of myself and with terrible self esteem.
Now, thanks to AA and the program and my HP, if that default setting raises it's ugly little head - I simply remind myself "Who am I to criticise God's handiwork?" ......and I feel at peace.........such a beautiful saying that.
Thanks Larry! Your quotes are really spot on for me right now.
Lqast few days I've been getting pretty self-pitying and depressed, what with the prospect of being laid off and all.
One the one hand, it's been like "I'll never be good enough to find another equally paying, etc job" and yet on the other hand it's like "x years of school and work and all I'll be able to find is something that won't even meet my debts and I'm going to probably wind up homeless and away from my son!"
You get the picture.
So a great quote for me right now - I've still got some work to do on relying upon external validation.
Oh Steve....I SO relate to projecting like that........... My mind can jump from one payment not having gone into my bank to me projecting being homeless within weeks..........I am much better than what I used to be, but still can go there if I'm not careful. I just try to take what action I can, then keep it in the day and try to trust in my HP. Financial insecurity is THE issue I struggle most with re. handing it over to my HP. I'm not sure I'm even willing to pray for the willingness to do so! Progress not perfection I guess!
In my early childhood - truly my earliest memories - my parents treated me as if I were royalty. They weren't, but I didn't know that. I just felt very special and very privileged. Of course at that time in my life I had yet to encounter <shudder> OTHER PEOPLE. LOL.
When I was off to school, those other people said to me things like, "You're not so special. You're no better than anybody else." This sort of split me into two conflicting personalities... one believed I was worthless (reading "no better than" as "worse than"), the other striving to regain the status of royalty and prove the other half wrong. AA has given me the opportunity to rejoin the human race as an equal, and just as importantly, bring those two sides of me to the table.
Oh Steve....I SO relate to projecting like that........... My mind can jump from one payment not having gone into my bank to me projecting being homeless within weeks..........I am much better than what I used to be, but still can go there if I'm not careful. I just try to take what action I can, then keep it in the day and try to trust in my HP. Financial insecurity is THE issue I struggle most with re. handing it over to my HP. I'm not sure I'm even willing to pray for the willingness to do so! Progress not perfection I guess!
Thanks Louisa. One of the many great things about the AA: we're not alone.
Yep, my projection is of THE most extreme kind. Like you, I'm getting better at it (which means in my case, it must have been really bad before -- most normal folks feeling what I am would have had themselves institutionalized! ;) ), thanks to AA. Some part of me must really love to cling on this mixture of shaming and inflating. That's why I love Larry's quote so much.
Interestingly, there's a huge amount of guilt built into there as well. And anxiety issues, especially performance anxiety. And low or non-existent self-esteem. That pride really feeds on that stuff.
Willingess. Like you say, that really is a huge part of it for me. Since this stuff still plagues me in what is still early sobrietyI need to keep praying for the willingess of this combination of pride/arrogance, gargantuan self-pity, extreme fear, guilt, obsessiveness and lack of faith in God, to be removed.
But, here's the mircale of AA: NOT ONCE, have I thought to myself, "why not go have a drink, I'll feel better."
Soooo, this program works and I'm hopeful that in due course I will achieve and gain the benefits of serenity.
Thanks for listending and love and good sobriety to all.
That feeling of never fitting in...... Humility has shown me to accept my imperfect self and to accept others as they are(imperfect). We are all children of God. No woarse or no better than anyone else. There's a little bit of good in the worst of us and a little bit of bad in the best. I also like to keep in mind today that I have an open mind, teachable and don't need to defend my position on all subjects just to inflate myself, win and feel superior to others. I'm an equal today. Very nice. Thank you God and AA. 
One of the many great things about the AA: we're not alone.