Watching a child acquire language, I realize, again, that naming things demystifies them. --Mary Casey
Sharing with another our fears of starting a new job, ending a relationship, getting into therapy, or even joining a social club will help us keep the fear in perspective. Fears that go undiscussed have a way of growing and overtaking our lives. In time we find that because of our shame about being afraid, we have isolated ourselves from the very people who can help us.
All of us are afraid some of the time. Our fears, however, can be managed if we use the tools found in the fellowship. Sponsors, friends, and meetings are the channels for our release from fear. Naming the fear loosens its hold on us. And equally important, we discover that others understand our fear, for they have experienced something very similar. We are not unique. That knowledge makes it easier to reveal another fear, another time.
Perhaps the best gift I can give someone is talking about something I fear. Naming the fear will help me. Sharing it will help us both because of the bond we will feel.
If I don't discuss my fear with someone or face it head on, what starts as a small ripple/wave of fear becomes a Tsunami. Horrible. Have done it recently with something - and today is the day!!! Am facing it! Feel a bit sick and full of intrepidation but hey! Onward and upwards! Thank you Larry for these lovely postings you make. I really appreciate them. Louisa xx
Looking back at my life pre-AA, I can see that virtually every life decision I ever made was based upon fear. I was too proud ever to share those fears or to pray on them. So I made a series of bad life decisions, based upon fear of loss, fear of not getting what I wanted, fear of not being liked, fear of not being good enough, fear of being poor, fear of being unemployed, homeless, etc. Add that pride to the mixture and -- well, basically, I was that tornado crashing through the lives of others. Hell on earth. It's amazing that I survived that.
I'm not yet at a stage of development in my life where I don't have fear. In fact, at the moment, I have a lot of (very real) fear about losing my job and not finding another one, owing to my age, lack of skill base, experience and basic scatterbrainedness. Fear about meeting my family commitments and not meeting my self-respect. Indeed, owing to the current situation there is a very good chance that I will lose my job.
BUT today, AA has given me the tools to deal with that fear. TODAY, I am not going to make bad decisions solely based upon fear (and my very resilient pride), thanks to AA. And most of all, I am NOT going to hop onto a bar stool on those fears.
Thanks again Larry and thanks to the rest of you for being here.
