No lectures, no beating, nothing, I am sure you are doing that quite well by yourself. I too had a slip but stayed away for two years and I always admire someone who truly shows such strength to honestly admit the slip and come back so fast...
In my thoughts and prayers, Dave
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"A busy mind is a sick mind. A slow mind, is a healthy mind. A still mind, is a divine mind." - Native American Centerness
we're all here because we're not alll there and we can't do it alone, also we can't all be crazy on the same day, you had your moment of weakness and it's OK, come home and get well, we're here for you and we love you, go to some meetings and let them carry you while you can't carry yourself and it will be OK
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it's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful
(((Tom))) Like has been said beautifully by Dave & LB......we are here for you....... Sending you more love than you could possibly even imagine....... Louisa xx
Don't beat yourself up...that is not what this is about. I had to start over 5 days ago, and I feel so much better once I got it out and was honest about. SO congratulations on owning it and taking responsiblity!!! You can do this :)
There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting.--Buddha
We're all in this boat...scooch over and let me take my turn at the oar for awhile and nurse those blisters on your hands. You'll be doing it for me soon enough.
xoxo
Amy
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"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." ~Anonymous
Welcome back. Don't be too hard on yourself we all have a chronic, terminal disease called alcoholism. If you had some other chronic disease that was under control but flared up again you would not blame yourself. Same thing here. You can do it and you are worth it!
God doesn't make any junk.
Larry, ----------------- " Failure is an event, not a person." - William D. Brown
-- Edited by Larry_H on Saturday 16th of October 2010 11:32:38 AM
In prayer and support Tom! Pick yourself up,dust yourself off and lets go forward in sobriety once again! Thanks for sharing honest,the antidote to our diseased thinking... Footprints in the sand!!!
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Hey All, I really appreciate the support. I am feeling lots better and am not beating myself too bad. Its just time to rest, saddle up, and hit the dusty trail! I am looking forward to that trail because it has been good to me and I am sure tomorrow I will be grateful for a new day!
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
Hi Tom, No need to apologise to anyone. We are all people with a common problem. But for the grace of God I am not drunk today. I have been challenged to the extreme the not by anyone on the outside but by own loved ones. That's how sick we became. My partner and I both got on to the steps of recovery. In the beginning we had a common spiritual sponsor. We needed it. He saved our marriage and my sobriety. As we started to grow, we gave up on everything else, even my plum job so that we could concentrate on what mattered the most- our recovery. It takes committment and effort, Tom. Your wife needs you now, but more than that you both need recovery. Do that and you will find that everything will fall into place- your sobriety her illness. I will pray for you. Keep posting.
Thank you for trusting in us, Tom. Never alone again. Pick up your steps & love them all the more. God loves you & so do I. We do this together. Keep coming back & reaching out. Get in the middle of the AA bed & keep your wife warm too. Recovery love & fellowship, Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Tom, I'm glad you came back here to be straightforward. Have you gone to a meeting yet, and talked to your sponsor? I don't recommend waiting. You know why. Today I find it helpful to constantly remind myself what was going on with me right before I drank when I slipped four months ago. I strengthend my program of recovery and as a result truly realize that I don't have to do it again. Did you call anyone? I have asked my self why I did not and when I was able to be honest and understand it helps me see what was going on, so that I might recognize my crappy thinking and dangerous behaviour paterns in the future. I'm also carrying a bigger first aide tool bag for my spirit and my thinking than I used to. The main thing for me was realizing just how vital it is to maintain my spiritual health/connection to HP.
After reading this quote a few weeks after my slip, I was able to understand for me why it happend, despite going to meetings, talking to sponsor daily and generally sticking to my routine. And also how to not go there again. At that time read it in a non-AA book, where it lept out at me from the page. Of course I'd read it before, but it now seems so much more significant. It's in the BB, page 85:
"What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition."
I truly hope to see you here posting soon. Hugs and Love, Angela
-- Edited by angelov8 on Monday 18th of October 2010 12:31:45 AM
What matters to me Tom is that you came back. I've seen too many not make it, and that breaks my heart. Remember, you haven't lost anything, just gained a little more experience. My prayers are with you and your wife through these hard times.
K.....
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Nothing ever truly dies. The universe wastes nothing. Everything is simply, transformed. :confuse:
Thanks again all, Yes I immediately told my sponsor the next day and have been straight up about it. My sponsor and I spent a lot of time talking through the situation and I do appreciate all the kind support here! I have also been spending lots of time in prayer. Tom
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
Thanks again all, Yes I immediately told my sponsor the next day and have been straight up about it. My sponsor and I spent a lot of time talking through the situation and I do appreciate all the kind support here! I have also been spending lots of time in prayer. Tom
How are you? How is the wife?
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it's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful
My Sweetheart is doing good all snuggled up on the couch and looking forward to seeing the doctors on Thursday and Friday to get some tubes pulled out. I am doing real well and almost thankful for the slip because it does reaffirm why I do not want to be a drunk!!! Tom
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
Glad you are back Tom! Saying a prayer that you never need to do any more "research" again. I can't imagine you have much fun drinking with all the AA experience and knowledge you have.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
I am so glad to see you posting here again! Also to hear your wife is recovering. Might it help to detail specifically what was going on with you before you drank? It might also help others to see it. Good that you talked with your sponsor right away. At least, that was the case for me.
For example, the week before I drank, I was watching some serious doom and gloom TV. I was sucked into my life-long thinking that life is a cruel hoax, humans suck and then you die. I thought though that I was OK, despite having trouble with prayer, and feeling any HP connection. The night I drank I went to work and ended up in a stressful situation with a co-worker. I thought it was resolved pretty well. Shortly after this , another co-worker suggested just one drink to calm down and I allowed him to pour it. I had promised I'd call my sponsor before seriously contemplating a drink and realized I didn't have my phone or her number memorized. At that moment I decided to do it, on a dare from my co-worker to have the just one. I explained that it didn't work like that for me, I have a drinking problem and that I'd show him how it works. A half an hour later, he told me he now understood, and of course I did not feel vindication, but total remorse and knew for myself the utter pointlessness of the whole thing. There was little or no pleasure.
Today I know better to avoid crappy TV, constantly cultivate my spiritual connections, and always keep my phone list on me, among other things. Today I'm willing to call the AA hotline if need be. There's a part of me that feels that I needed to do that research, everything happens for a reason, if only to know for me, with absolute certainty that I know all I need to know about the reality of picking up the drink.
I guess reading about your slip made me feel that I needed to get this out there one more time so I don't have to drink one more time.
Sorry if it comes off anything but helpful and loving, because that's what I really want to say, "Love ya man, and keep coming back".