How soon?

AmyWillWin · Veteran Member

How soon?

Klaatu · Senior Member

There was a recent post (http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?aBID=42735&p=3&topicID=38593282) that covered this very topic...check it out. It was suggested to me to find a temporary sponsor as soon as I could just to have one person to be "accountable" to. Sometimes those turn in to permanent sponsors, and sometimes new ones are found. I would make it known at your meeting that you are in need of a temporary sponsor until you can find the right one for you and see where it goes from there. As far as same sex sponsorship, IMHO it's a must. I've seen sex and relationships get in the way of step work and it isn't pretty. I know I had enough junk swirling around in my head when I first came back to AA, and didn't want to throw any more in the mix. Some will say that's it's okay to have an opposite sex sponsor, and for some people it works. I would check and re-check your motives and be honest with yourself before making a decision. Besides, if there's a significant other involved, jealousy can be a dangerous thing for a recovering alcoholic. I'm sure more will jump on this with different opinions, probably even better than mine, but try and keep an open mind and learn to trust the experience of those who have gone before you.

It's exciting to hear a new comer full of happiness and hope like you are. After all, don't we all just want to be happy in life? I'm glad your feeling better, and remember this...the best is yet to come!

K.....

-- Edited by Klaatu on Thursday 14th of October 2010 11:56:02 AM

-- Edited by Klaatu on Thursday 14th of October 2010 11:56:51 AM

pinkchip · MIP Old Timer

It is normal to feel that excited. Just keep channeling it into willingness. Your life will be better and you need to remember this conviction you have now when it seems it is a drag to go to meetings, that you may have heard the same things already, or when your mind tells you that you are better.

I came to meetings with a big book in my lap for the first couple of weeks and I was busy trying to apply all the steps to my life within my first month of sobriety. I was told to leave the book in the car and to slow down because I had the rest of my life to be sober. I also am a perfectionist, got all A's in school, have 2 master's degrees and kept my job as a substance abuse counselor while getting hammered almost every night and coming in with bad ass hangovers after dry heaving every morning.

So...you remind me of myself. Your mind is spinning a bit now cuz you lifted the regular dose of tranquilizing depressant from it. It's going to take a while to settle down. Be grateful when you feel good, be accepting when you don't feel good and go easy with yourself. As far as perfection goes...only step 1 needs to be done perfectly (so I have been told repeatedly). You need a great foundation for sobriety to last the rest of your life (even though I know we are supposed to live in today and just focus on 1 day at a time). Knowing this, don't look to far beyond the first 3 steps for the next several months (my suggestion). The first 3 steps are your foundation and you want that foundation to be super strong so that you can build a new house (you) upon it.

In terms of a sponsor. Look for a temporary one and get to work as soon at you are able. Be completely honest with your sponsor as best you can. Getting to know them is important and that's why we sometimes start with a "Temporary Sponsor" before we recognize we gel with the person and can just drop the "temporary" part. The gender of your sponsor is not crucial but it does matter. It helps to be able to discuss anything with your sponsor because "anything" could be an excuse for you drink until you understand your alcoholism better. Lots of people are triggered by relationship and sex issues and you might be more comfortable sharing that stuff with a person that identifies with it and has solutions based on experience. Also, you want to choose a sponsor that has what you want. If you are a female, you want to chose a woman who probably seems like she has a grip on life and is the type of woman you want to be (preferably a mother also if you have kids). You cannot learn to be the person you want to be from a person not capable of being at least close to that type of person.

Anyhow, keep us updated and I am moved by your enthusiasm. Honesty, Open-Mindedness, and Willingness will serve you well in AA....and in life in general.

Mark

-- Edited by pinkchip on Thursday 14th of October 2010 12:05:52 PM

SUSIE · Senior Member

So normal to feel excited.. And guess what it only gets better!!! After close to 3 yrs sober It never gets old!!

SUSIE · Senior Member

Also...(sorry about double post) How wonderful to see someone as excited as I was. It is as good as it seems. Sorta always feel like i have a secret to joy! And I can see that you will too!

Klaatu · Senior Member

SUSIE wrote:

So normal to feel excited.. And guess what it only gets better!!! After close to 3 yrs sober It never gets old!!

So very true Susie. It never gets old.

K.....

happycamper · MIP Old Timer

Welcome to AA Amy and a great life if you so choose ..

I would get a sponsor as soon as you can, and yes-preferrably same sex.
Your sponsor should guide you thru the steps and you will get to know her better during this process.

Your excitement for sobriety is great !!

AmyWillWin · Veteran Member

I'm glad this is normal...I'm sure everyone here understands how alcoholism makes you seriously question your sanity. I was wondering if I was delusional for feeling so cheerful, haha. As for the sponsor, the meeting I went to last night was an all-women's group (which was a huge stroke of luck, honestly) and I'm pretty sure I'll probably end up with someone from that meeting, but I was just curious about the same-sex thing, since I have several very close male friends. Not drinking buddies, real friends. To be honest, I don't have any drinking buddies...I was a solo pilot on that kamikaze mission.

Also, has anyone else ever noticed that when you've been drinking heavily for so long, even when you AREN'T hung over you still feel like you are, somewhat? My stomach is all blah, and my intestines are attempting to secede from the union. Eeek.

SUSIE · Senior Member

Your probably detoxing. Some have sever symptoms and some just flu like. How long has it been since your last drink?? It can be very serious. I myself just felt sorta blah. I was very lucky to not have sever withdrawal.

AmyWillWin · Veteran Member

it's been about 36 hours or so.

SUSIE · Senior Member

If you start feeling real sick get ahold of someone in your meeting or seek medical help. It can be a real hard time for a few days. Not everyone and not trying to scare you but take your symptoms seriously!!

SteveP · MIP Old Timer

Yep, the best is yet to come. Glad to hear that you're going for a same-sex sponsor. I've not been in AA that long, but even in my limited time in, it's pretty clear to me that it's just better that way.

Wow, your comments on still feeling hungover really hit home. I totally remember that. I was so used to waking up sick and hungover that my body was I guess kind of trained to expect that. I found that I got over it pretty quickly and that it made me even more grateful to be sober, as I knew that I wasn't really hungover. ;)

"Solo pilot on that kamikaze mission." -- lol, that's a keeper!

Steve

turninggrey · MIP Old Timer

Hey Amy,
Your excitement is contageous and I feel a bit of it through the keyboard. I would stick with the same sex thing because it can be a cruel world out there sometimes, and there have been opposite sex sponsors out there that have "crossed the line" sexually and taken advantage of vulnerable new folks. Not to throw a downer on the program, I'm just sayin.......
The sickness is your body craving alcohol. It should pass in the next couple days, but in long time drunks it can be very serious. Not knowing you I can only say you look young, and you should get your health back quickly.
Another thing about the "young" thing. Its a bit tougher quiting when you are young because your peer group has not seen enough death and divorce and pain and injury from alcohol yet. If you can get past the peer pressure and get your buds onboard with your plans it will be fine, but if you are serious about quitting, you may need to leave the ones who hinder your recovery behind. Just a heads up .
It is very much worth it! Your life will change and the whole world is yours without alcohol!
Good Luck
Tom

louisa · Senior Member

(((Amy)))

It is wonderful to feel your joy!
Have nothing to add to what's already been said by my beautiful AA brothers and sisters!
I felt a huge sense of relief at having found people who "speak my language".

That joy and relief has truly never left me.

Lovely to have you here!!!!!
With love,

Louisa xx

Dave Harm · Senior Member

Hi Amy...

There is also a member here who has a site about sponsorship which may be of help

RUM RADIO

louisa · Senior Member

Love that site......so helpful !