Going to my first meeting tonight. Enough is enough. I've been in tears on and off all day, so I'll make sure to take some kleenex. I thought that if I admitted that I was an alcoholic then everyone would think I was weak because I couldn't just stop drinking on my own, but I no longer car what anyone else thinks. My own perception of myself is all I care about anymore.
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"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." ~Anonymous
Welcome Amy....If you think about it...an alcoholic is one of the strongest people ever! Who else would put our selfs thru what we do and with the grace of God continue to stand. A weak person does not find help. It takes a strong person to be honest with themselves and to ask for help. Help is out there. Go to your meeting and sit and listen and see how you feel. I felt such peace in my first meeting. Now that I think of it I feel a huge sense of peace in all my meetings. I am where im suppose to be. Good for you!!! Enjoy, a new way!!
Thanks for the kind words. Peace sounds like heaven to me at this point. I just have to GO. I've been thinking about this for going on five years now, and I am finally to the point where I realize that my drinking is going to kill me. I just am not capable of taking it or leaving it. I can go a week and then I'm right back at it, and each time it seems to worsen. I'm emotionally exhausted. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
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"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." ~Anonymous
Welcome Amy. You have made the greatest decision in your life. That is strong not weak. When some one seeks help from AA because they have a problem, then that individual is strong. Keep posting on this forum. Here you can talk about your feelings, because we understand, because we have all been there. Congratulations!
Welcome Amy, when the pain outweighs the pleasure ,we get a special boost to go on to jails, institutions , deriliction or death or find a "new way to live".this is the best house on the block,glad you opened the door!!!!!
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Welcome Amy, I have been there. Reading your post was like reading my thoughts and feeling. In other words, you are not alone. I finally reach out for help and that is where my journey begin. "One Day At A Time" I went to AA meetings, got a sponsor, studied the Big Book of Alcohoilic Anonymous and my sponsor guided me through the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. My spirit has been awakened as the result of these steps. The obsession has been removed and my life is different from the life I use to live. The joy of living is what I have experienced mostly since I been sober. But for the Grace of God and his mercy. Hang in there,thanks for sharing and Keep Coming Back!
My health is suffering, I easily weigh 20 lbs more than I should, and I am constantly fighting depression even though I have a job I love, a wonderful supportive boyfriend, two beautiful healthy children & tons of friends. I've never woken up in the gutter and I haven't had any legal problems, but continuing the way I have been is a fast track to getting there.
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"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." ~Anonymous
continuing the way I have been is a fast track to getting there.
I wish I would have realized that far sooner than I did. If I had, I could have saved many people from the devastation I caused in their lives, not to mention what I did to me. I was told very early on that I could get off the elevator at any floor, but didn't listen. I rode it as far down as it went. Spent allot of time aimlessly wandering around in hell trying to figure out why I was in so much pain. Turns out all I had to do was completely give it up to a power greater than myself. That power somehow reached down and pulled me out into a life I never thought imaginable. It's been a wild ride, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Keep doing the right things (not drinking is a biggie) one day at a time and things will get better.
K.....
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Nothing ever truly dies. The universe wastes nothing. Everything is simply, transformed. :confuse:
I went, and it was amazing. I feel hope for the first time in years, and I didn't cry anywhere near as much as I laughed. I even felt comfortable enough to talk. Thank God for those ladies, and thank God for all the hugs. Hugs I can use.
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"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." ~Anonymous
Awesome Amy! What amazed me the most when I first started going to AA was the unconditional love and support from the people there. I was amazed that they seemed to know me better than I knew myself at the time. Isn't it a great feeling to be with those that really understand? For me, AA is so much more than just a program to keep me sober, it's a fellowship of people that love and support me and will do what they can to help. Keep comming back, and as they say, don't quit until the miracle happens.
In love and support,
K.....
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Nothing ever truly dies. The universe wastes nothing. Everything is simply, transformed. :confuse:
Yo Amy, Great! Do not forget to keep us posted here on how you are coming through the steps. Did you get a Big Book? If not, here is the online version which is not complete, but it will get you started: http://anonpress.org/bb/
Good Luck, Tom
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
WELCOME AMY.I WANT TO SHARE WITH YOU A LOVELY STATEMENT THAT I JUST FINISHED READING,YEARNING FOR A NEW WAY WILL NOT PRODUCE IT ,ENDING THE OLD WAY WILL DO THAT.YOU ARE WORTH IT. WE NEED YOU .
This does sound exactly like what I experienced in going to my first meeting and in leading up to it. (aside from the mother part...oh and I had a sucky alcoholic boyfriend that I dumped before going to my first meeting :) ) Great to hear about how well it went
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!