Just Beginning

texasmama · Newbie

Just Beginning

Larry_H · MIP Old Timer

Texasmama

Welcome, you never have to be alone again. Check your phone book for AA then make a call. It will be the most important call you have ever made. Tell them you need help and want to go to a meeting. Dallas has hundreds of AA meetings.

Below is a little guide to help you know what to expect at your first meeting.

Larry,
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Your 3 Choices, Locked Up, Covered Up or Sobered Up
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How to get through your first Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting

originated by:Ljp26, Maluniu

Nobody wants to go to their first Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meeting. Everyone is afraid. AA welcomes everyone, and you don't need to meet any requirements. If you've ever thought of going, or have been told you must go, here's what to do.

1 Find a meeting. There are lots of sources. Call the nearest Alcoholics Anonymous Intergroup office, visit http://www.aa.org, ask a church pastor or anyone you might know in recovery. Many cities have hundreds, or even over a thousand AA meetings each week.

2 Pick a compatible meeting. If you're going because you are curious about AA, go to an "open" meeting, which is for anyone. Closed meetings are only for people who have decided they have a problem with alcohol and want to stop drinking. Some meetings are for men only or women only, are foreign language speaking or are for other special groups. The sources above can guide you to the right meeting.

3 Ask for a ride if you don't have a way to get there. The local AA office can usually arrange for someone who is going to the meeting to pick you up.

4 Get there early. Many meetings are held in churches. Watch what door people go in so you can follow them to the right room. If you aren't sure if you're at the right place, ask someone if it is the meeting for "friends of Bill W."

5 Expect to see all kinds of people there: young, old, worn-down, elegant. They may be very different than you. You might be surprised that so many people look healthy and happy. They are all there for the same reason no matter how they look on the outside.

6 Relax. You aren't required to do or believe anything. You don't have to say a word.

7 Watch how the meeting works. They usually begin with volunteers reading from AA literature, followed by a group discussion, book study or featured speaker.

8 Sometimes the leader will ask if anyone is at their first AA meeting. If you want, you can raise your hand and give your first name.

9 Listen. You will get a lot out of your first meeting by hearing others' experiences. You might not understand all the discussion, but try to find something you can relate to.

10 When they pass the basket for donations, you do not have to contribute. If you want to, the normal contribution is $1 or $2 in the U.S. Don't give more than what others are giving.

11 Take a white chip if offered. Some groups give chips to people have been sober for a length of time. They also give a white chip to anyone who doesn't want to drink just for one day. Chips are reminders to help you stay sober. They are free.

12 Ask the chairperson after the meeting for a directory that shows where and when meetings are held. You can go to as many meetings as you want. If you go to a second meeting located near the first one, you might recognize people that were at the first meeting.

Tips

Meetings start on time. Plan to get there early and stay late so people can introduce themselves.

If you get there late, it's OK. Just go in and sit down.

Tell someone you are new. They will probably introduce you to others.

Go sober and not high. Otherwise the experience won't be very useful.

During the meeting, don't ask questions or talk to anyone in the group directly, even if it seems like someone is talking directly to you. Stay after the meeting to ask questions or tell them your story.

There is a lot of laughter in AA meetings. It's also OK to cry.

If you see someone there that you know, don't worry that they will "tell on you." They are probably there for the same reason you are.

Go to a different meeting if you don't hear anything that you can relate to. Each meeting has a unique personality.

If people give you their phone numbers, they want to help if you need it. Call them before you take a drink. Say that they gave you their number at the meeting and you want to drink.

Warnings

Never drive with alcohol in your system, even if you think you need to get to an AA meeting right away. Get someone to give you a ride instead.

The group might ask you to leave and come back another day if you are disruptive or start rambling about something other than alcohol.

Once you get home don't talk about who was there or what they said. One of AA's mottos is "Who you see here, what you hear here, let it stay here."

louisa · Senior Member

Hello! (((Texasmama)))

Welcome to the board.

I'm tired enough to change.

Oh I really relate to that. I too became so so exhausted and tired of it all. Even today after years in the program I can cringe at some of the things I did - so embarrassing.
Life is very different now.

I was very similar - I could go 2 days without a drink, then on the third day I would say to myself.......well it's clear you can control it Louisa cos you've had none for 2 days....so JUST have one or two..............that NEVER happened. Everytime I picked up I ended up the same - you know the kind of thing. cry

Everytime I swore to myself it would never happen again.......it did......and got progressively worse. What I had thought was embarassing in the beginning was nothing compared to the nightmare that developed eventually. Horrendous.

I learnt, through AA that once I pick up that first drink I am powerless. Something different happens to me when I drink. I cannot drink like normal folks.

I also realised I needed help to stop drinking. I had tried so many times on my own.

I couldn't believe I had ended up having to go to AA. WHAT????ME????With all those weak willed drunks??????? Little did I know.

It was the best thing I ever did. I can't tell you here the beautiful things AA has brought into my life. I was very suspicious - thought it was a sect and all that stuff.......

All I can say is that i cried all through my first meeting - out of confusion and frustration about how I had ended up in my situation but also and probably more so at the kindness those folk showed me - the understanding........it was such a relief. I will never forget it.

With love and support
Louisa xx

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Welcome Texasmomma.

Get to a meeting today. You might change your mind tomorrow and who knows how long it would be till you feel inspired to get help with your drinking problem again. I went years at a time. Life is short, make the call to your local AA intergroup (phone book or google) to let them advise you of a good meeting near you. These good folks that answer the AA phone line are recovering alcoholics just like us. These are the same people that you used to drink with, that have now found a favorable way to live happily without drinking.
Get busy and good luck with your new journey.

texasmama · Newbie

"I learnt, through AA that once I pick up that first drink I am powerless."

That is SO true. I almost want to laugh out loud at how utterly true that is.

I found a group fairly close to my house and they have a meeting at 7pm and tomorrow as well.

I think going in sooner than later is a good idea...like Dean said, before I change my mind.

I can't express how much I appreciate you guys's kind words, encouragement, and personal experiences with me. Thank you all so much.

SteveP · MIP Old Timer

Hi TM, welcome to the board.

I can totally relate to your story. Family had no relevance in my drinking world. If I could drink when they were there, great, but drink came first. Going out with my wife's colleagues -- great, I can drink...and then get into drunk arguments with her colleagues. Just one quick drink, and then I'll be home....never happened.

Best thing that I ever did was go to an AA meeting, when I felt like I just couldn't go on, when I knew deep down that I couldn't stop drinking by myself. I was scared and embarassed as hell going in and wanted not to go. Then I went in and thought to myself, "these people can't be alcoholics!". (allow me to add that I've heard that a few times from other AA members).

The speaker that night kept saying, "But I kept coming back." I remembered that and have kept doing the same.

I'm sober today -- AA showed me the way.

Thanks for being here...and keep coming back.

Steve

Jerry F · MIP Old Timer

Aloha Mama...follow thru on the suggestions and remember that there will never
be another day when you will be alone with this obsession, compulsion and disease.
The fellowship is over 2 million strong and though there maybe time, space and miles
between us...spiritually we stand in the same shoes. I will take you to my next
meeting...((((hug)))) smile

The Sword · Veteran Member

Your in the right place. The meetings are so important. Get to one ASAP, and keep going.

pinkchip · MIP Old Timer

Sounds like a good start. There is a solution and you will find it in AA. Don't expect changes over night...Don't focus too much on the past but more on that you NEVER HAVE TO DRINK AGAIN! Go to meetings and just follow the suggestions offered and you will be okay. Breathe deep. Now is the start of a new life if you want it bad enough!

In support,

Mark

chiquita2201 · Member

I was scared about going to my first meeting...way more to do with my ego than anything else. You can do this, and we all understand :) It feels so nice now to be able to go in those rooms and talk with people who truly know where I am coming from.