Last night and the night before a few of us had a brief chat about nicknames. I'm a bugger for giving folks nicknames, but usually to differentiate between two or more people with the same first name.
So I know three Marks, three daves, two pauls, but only one Tim and one Gary. There are more than one Bill round here.
There's Dave Tash or Skinny Dave, Old Dave, whiny Dave, cockney mark, teacher Mark, counter Mark, wheelchair Paul and Drummer Paul. It's the last one that makes me think ab bit as I used to call him Riigger Paul, 'cos he always used to wear rigger boots. On Monday he told me he always hated that name. (I stopped calling him that after he came back from re hab). He then told me I used to be called Grumpy Bill (which I actually like ' cos it's generally pretty accurate) but now I'm just Bill.(or occaisionally DeeDah Bill) Why is Tim called Welsh Tim? there's only one Tim , why is Gary called Fat Gaz - there's only one Gary.
Even at work we have Robin (Shakin' Stevens Rob), Chris (Sheepshagger), Colin (Bennie), Dave M (Kentish Dave), Alan (Marvin [the paranoid android]) and David (the Hobbitt). Me, I'm Bill (the Pudding - hopefully as in Yorkshire Pudding). Now, Rob, Chris and Dave M are all aware and ok with their nicknames, but alan, Colin and David are not aware of their nicknames. I'd call Dave, Rob and Chris by their nickies to their face, but not Alan, Colin or David.
Why is this? Because all three have derogatory, potentially hurtful nicknames - it's very childish isn't it. It must be based on fear somewhere (No I didn't name any of them). They're not nice names and neither is whingy dave for that matter.
So I resolve to stop referring to them in this way, to myself and to others.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
I was referred to as Eeyore and Debbie Downer for the first few months cuz I droned on and was so depressed. It bothered me a bit, but not enough to stop being honest and sharing cuz that was saving my butt. I have heard a few people referred to as "angry (insert name)" and that generally is bad, but in the case where the angry person stayed sober, it usually winds up being funny because they do become much more mellowed out in time and the fact that they were once referred to as angry is sort of a testament to the program working. On the other hand, there are some that are hanging by a thread to AA and they have a lot of trouble getting past what others think of them, I would never want a dumb nickname to keep anyone away from meetings. Hence, it is better to just use names.
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That's funny, reminds me that I attend one meeting that has two Julie's, two Suzanne's (and a Susan), two Sharon's, two Deb's, two Jan's, two Molly's, and three Linda's. The Julie's always tag team on their shares, just because. We sometimes use last name initials to identify whom we are refering to, but people don't seem to always know or remember which letter goes with whom. So sometimes geographic identifiers work, or oldtimer Molly vs. Molly the Younger. Once we were doing Birthday cards for the both Julie's in a meeting and half the folks wrote messages for the wrong person. People are very sensitive about things like skinny, big, short or tall.
Some nicknames are not-nice and some I don't mind. In the past i have been called a few.
Not Nice: Bloody Yank Bastard Chuckles Carbunckle Knob Knob-Bobber Rockin' Rob Tree Hugger (we can call each other that, but They can't)
Don't Mind: Cue Ball Mr. Clean Tony Soprano AquaDude Throb Porn Star/Rock Star My Greasy Spic (from my Norwegian/Swede wife) Daddy Tree Hugger (from Us)
