How soon should I get a sponsor?

Kimmer · Newbie

How soon should I get a sponsor?

Kimmer · Newbie

pleeeeease

Michael · Member

My suggestion, get someone with good emotional sobriety who has already worked the 12 steps with their sponser. Someone who plans on starting the steps with you asap. Someone who has what you want, someone who plans to help you get active in the fellowship.(not just occupy a seat in a meeting)

LinBaba · MIP Old Timer

Michael wrote:

My suggestion, get someone with good emotional sobriety who has already worked the 12 steps with their sponser. Someone who plans on starting the steps with you asap. Someone who has what you want, someone who plans to help you get active in the fellowship.(not just occupy a seat in a meeting)

I agree entirely, immediately is the answer

Find a sponsor who has worked the steps out of the book of Alcoholics Anonymous with a sponsor who has done the same, one who "has what you want" ie; long term physical and emotional sobriety, who has stability in their lives, who seems serene and confident

I also agree with find someone who is active and will help show you how to do the same, nothing so much insures sobriety as intensive work with other alcoholics, and as far as I can tell, there is only one true crime in AA, using it to save your life and then leaving without giving back to the organization that saved your life because you are "too busy" and you "have a life now" because the truth is you wouldn't have that life without AA, I always found irony in that statement, people who were too busy to help others because they were living the life others gave so freely to give them.

We don't wait until we feel better to work the steps with a sponsor, we work the steps with a sponsor in order to feel better, physical sobriety is the bare beginning of true Sobriety, which is the ability to feel comfortable in our skin without alcohol and/or other addictions like work, food, dieting, sex, relationships, even meetings

It's an inside job, find the right sponsor it will be a million times less painful

-- Edited by LinBaba on Monday 4th of October 2010 10:09:27 PM

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Yesterday

bikerbill · MIP Old Timer

Now, get one now. someone same sex, who has worked the steps with a sponsor, who has a current sponsor and who has emotional and physical sobriety. Age, creed, colour - none of that matters.

happycamper · MIP Old Timer

Hi Kimmer and welcome to AA !!

If you can get your hands on the phamplet Questions and Answers on Sponsorship I would highly recommend you read it thru.

Get a sponsor as soon as possible. Same sex and preferrably one who has worked thru the 12 steps.

Go to a few meetings and listen to the other members share ... when you find some one who 'has what you want', then ask that person to sponsor you.

If they say NO, dont be offended, keep searching :)

louisa · Senior Member

Have nothing to add to what's been said above.

The only thing I would maybe say is that nothing is written in stone, all sponsors are human, and if you do choose one you later start to feel uncomfortable with for the right reasons biggrin

- *smiling* (suggestions from sponsors aren't always what we want to hear but it is 99% of the time what we need to hear (in my experience!!)) Then you can always change.......

As Happy Camper said - the leaflet is great!

Wishing you all the best and welcome to the board!
Louisa xx

Larry_H · MIP Old Timer

A good sponsor is one who has worked all of the steps under the guidance of a sponsor.

How soon should you get one? How soon do you want to get well?

Larry,
----------------
"There's no point in asking God to help keep me sober today if I have no intention of staying sober"

Rainspa · Senior Member

Today.

I shouldn't worry about the process of judging who has "long term emotional and physical sobriety, stability in their lives, who seems serene and confident" will become apparent as time goes by.

Because at a week sober you may not be in a position to sort through all that and not delay getting a sponsor.

Since a sponsor is there to help you work the steps, a few questions should keep the process simple.

1. Are you sober?
2. How long?
3. Have you worked the steps? (All of them? In order? From the Book? With a sponsor?)
4. Can you (and will you) help me work the steps? (All the steps, in order, from the book)

Look for answers like:

1. Yes
2. More than 6 months
3. Yes. (yes, yes and yes)
4. Yes

Write back today that you have a new sponsor!

LinBaba · MIP Old Timer

Here is AA's "official" Pamphlet, it's pretty thorough

http://www.aa.org/pdf/products/p-15_Q&AonSpon.pdf

Kimmer · Newbie

Thanks everyone! I already met a girl with 2 and half years sobriety at a YP meeting on Saturday, she goes to a meeting everyday and already said she'd work the steps with me. I guess this is a good start to a sponsor/sponsee relationship... I'm meeting up with her this weekend and we've been talking on the phone. I'll update you once I know for sure!

Thanks for all the suggestions and info guys!

Rainspa · Senior Member

Kimmer wrote:

Thanks everyone! I already met a girl with 2 and half years sobriety ... said she'd work the steps with me.

If she works the steps from the Big Book, then it sounds like a sponsor to me!

Congratulations!

Jupiter76 · Member

Hello all. New to the board, glad I found it! wealth of great advice and knowledge on here.

I too am struggling with finding a sponsor, I'll be 2mths sober this Friday and still haven't found one. That being said, I find myself getting a bit complacent already with meetings. I haven't gone since last Thurs (my homegroup) but am going to one after work tonight.
I have asked my HP to please help me with this (if it is my time) b/c I realize just staying sober and going to meetings (when I go) is NOT going to keep me sober.
Nothing changes if nothing changes. My homegroup is starting a Back to Basics workshop soon which I am excited about, but I know I need a sponsor.

I really want to WORK the program. I WANT this inner peace that I see so many people have.
Thanks for listening!