Here I am!~! Still alive & sober. Now that I think about it, maybe Bill is God's nudge. I've been feeling...less than...lately.
E/S/H... I have finished my Intensive Outpatient Treatment. Bitter-sweet. Our group really bonded and I feel like I'm leaving family behind. They all got me a card and said stuff like "honest" "dedicated" and leadership". I love them all. We are Us. I worry about them. A brand new patient started a week ago. She is two weeks sober from meth. She eats every 3rd day or so and can't sleep. She is suicidal. She feels more at home in a recovery group or an institution than with "family". She identifies best with men by f**king them.
She wears stick-on tattooes and Silly Bandz. She is 15. I really, really hope she gets what she needs.
My new "harmless" meds make me use all of my coping & sobriety skills to act sane. I am very quick to react and my head doesn't always go down the best path. I feel mentally ill again, sometimes.
I need less me and more God.
Enough whining...all things considered I have it made. The job is still satisfactory, my family still loves me. I have to go now...my son needs me.
