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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> How to handle having extra money
Post Info TOPIC: How to handle having extra money
susanbiel


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How to handle having extra money
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Well, it's been a month since I asked for help with my budgeting.  Each week I have money left over and I just can't figure out why I couldn't/didn't before.  I know I am not going to the store as often, it's just once a week now.  The kids are adjusting to me telling them that they don't need this or that.  But it does still hurt to tell them NO. I felt so guilty all these years for being a drunk and getting divorced from their dad that I thought I had to give them everything they wanted or dreamed of.  10 years sober and it took all this time to figure it out  DUH  LOL.  The best thing i can give them is a sober mom.

I am learning to ask myself is it a want or a need.  Cause I always want somethingsmile, but now I realize that having "stuff" isn't going to make me happy.  It isn't going to stop the panic attacks, which I have to say I am not getting them as much or as bad.  I am getting my medical bills paid and I think that was my biggest problem.  The bills seemed so large and I just couldn't understand how I was going to get them paid.  It was overwhelming to me.  I got a escrow statement 2 weeks ago saying my house payment was going up because my house is being way over taxed.  I protested my taxes, still waiting to hear something, but I just paid the amount so the payment won't go up.  Next year it might even go down. WOW  what a concept!

It still amazes me when I/we admit we need help with something and actually ask for it there is such a weight lifted off your shoulders.  I was told today to give myself a pat on the back, but I can't do that yet.  It has only been a month and if the help stops I think I would go right back to spending on stupid stuff.  Maybe next month I will give myself 2 pats on the back smilesmile  Thanks for listening to me ramble on.  I am proud of myself.  kinda sounds silly. 

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Susan B.
Jerry F


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Yay Susan B!!...that is one of the outcomes of working a good program and as I let
the program continue to grow with me I remember that one of the principles of money
for our meetings is to keep a prudent reserve and another one taught by a very good
sponsor was to "give it away".   How does that last one apply to recovery?  Well today
my giving isn't only inside of the meetings but always inside of the program.  There
are those who need and when I have I can give without reluctance or resentment. I'm
not the "Millionaire" (remember that show?) so I give as I can be cause that is the
agreement twix HP and me.  I've been given soooo much and the lesson is in the
giving.   I aways like post like this because it is recovery beyond just not drinking.

Mahalo ((((hugs)))) smile

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Reffner


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I can relate to feeling like you have to give the kiddos everything they want to make up for all the bad stuff. I did it for a while, and it came back to haunt me. They have learned that no is no (and your right, it can hurt like hell to tell em' no). As far as extra $$$...what's that? lol I would say stash it for a rainy day. It sounds like your doing a good job so far, (better than me) :P and I am impressed with the changes you've made with the help you have. If your anything like me things don't get replaced until they're broke or need replaced. Wife wants the kitchen remodeled, but it's not a high priority. We have 1 car with almost 200,000 miles on it that probably isn't gonna last too much longer, so we're saving money to replace it AFTER it dies. I would love to have a new one now, but it still runs, and I don't want another car payment. My wife would love all new furniture, paint, light fixtures, all that stuff, but it's not high on the list. With the economy and job market the way it is, I think it would be foolish to spend any extra $$$ on things that we can make due with. Sounds like your on the right track...keep it up!

Brian

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Ruadh gu brath
turninggrey


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Buy silver.
Tom

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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around." 
LinBaba


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turninggrey wrote:

Buy silver.
Tom



To keep the vampires away?

 



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it's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful
susanbiel


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I hear ya brian.  I would love to replace a few things but I am going to save, save.  MY van has 102,000 miles on it, but thank goodness we have a mechanic in the family that helps smile 

When I wrote how to handle extra money; it was because I want to spend it. cry I know the best thing for me to do is save it.  After I get the food we need for the week, give my son lunch money and but gas in my van I just don't look in the check register.  That makes it a little easier.  As far as the panic attacks the book mentioned below will be helping.  There is a book club starting on Sober24 and this is the book for Oct.  I am a huge reader.  I learn better that way.biggrin

I did spend $20.00 on a new book  Title:  "12 Smart Things to do when the booze and drugs are gone."  chossing emotional sobriety through self-awareness and right action by Allen Berger, Ph. D.  Even though I have years in the program I know I still have a ton of things to learn. 

My son has a serious anger problem and he broke is 5 wood a couple of weeks ago during a meet.  He wants me to replace it, but I told him that he would have to do that with him birthday money or christmas money.  He needs to learn how to control his anger.  The golf season in ending, which I am happy about, so I am going to be able to get to more meetings.  His next sport is bowling.  The kids is amazing, when he can control his anger.  Anyway thanks for the replies.  It is nice to know there are people out there that can relate.

Love and Hugs,

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Susan B.
turninggrey


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LinBaba wrote:

turninggrey wrote:

Buy silver.
Tom



To keep the vampires away?

 



Well, yes, that and werewolfs are a few of the reasons! Here is another:
http://www.monex.com/prods/silver_chart.html

Both gold and silver are good, but who can afford gold.  I don't claim to be an expert, but I know one that I have listened to at least once a year since I was a child, and he is a man known to most of you as well:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bj5pQMkQqKM

Tom




 



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