So I am in the period of waiting for my wife's double mastectomy. They are going to take and check her sentinel lymph node tuesday and if that turns out well the following week they will do the double mastectomy and breast reconstruction at the same time. So, the house needs to be made ready and I am blah. Minimal motivation. I need to repaint the masterbath and put in new lights and a new mirror (her only request with 6-8 chemo's coming) and set up one of our boys bedroom with a queen bed for when her folks come to help out. Blah. I am not in reverse, and I am not stalled, I am plodding forward. I work. I rest. I work. Need motivation. Must stay strong. Blah. Any tips? Tom
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
Hire it done.... maybe. You are going thru alot. Some people like to do jobs like that to keep their minds busy others not so much....Prayers To you and your wife.
MAybe just to do it anyway and talk about the feelings and thoughts at meetings & here. "Must stay strong" makes me wonder if the "blah" is maybe a coping mechanism for fear, hurt, anger, grief, anxiety etc etc? Even with good outcomes, it's an awful experience that you and yours are going through. And of course, it's no where near over and....hmmmm..."must be strong". Maybe what you need is a really good cry! (After you put your fist through the sheetrack.)
I been there done that (only I lost one breast)....so I know something of what you are going through. I seen the fear in the eyes of my children....then teens. I was only 6 mos. into a new job.....had little money.....and was dealing with all the emotions of being left by ex. I prayed and prayed and prayed. the nights were the hardest! that would be my suggestion....prayer and faith in your HP to see everyone involved through this time. My prayers are with you!
This may be one of those times where you need to call on your A.A. brothers and sisters from your meetings and ask for some help in doing the household tasks that need to be done. You are likely to find many willing to help. Then, you'll not only have some folks to share the work with, but their emotional support as well.
This is a ruff time for you and your wife. God will get you thru it
Why not ask Him for the strength and motivation to get the work done that has been asked of you. A good positive attitude will get us on the right road to where we need to be.
This may be one of those times where you need to call on your A.A. brothers and sisters from your meetings and ask for some help in doing the household tasks that need to be done. You are likely to find many willing to help. Then, you'll not only have some folks to share the work with, but their emotional support as well.
My prayers for you and your family.
God Bless,
BGG
Quoted for truth
These people carried me when I couldn't carry myself, you need to be 100% for your wife, That was the one thing they POUNDED into me as a Paramedic was everything that happens is going to be remembered for the rest of this person's life, so get some help, get people to help carry you so you can carry your wife
I wish I could help, but the help is there if you reach out for it, otherwise my heart goes out to the both of you
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it's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful
Hey Tom ,sharing your feelings is always a best start.Ialso like idea oF seeing if others want to help you do some stuff or if your you really like your 'alone time" like me, I know you can pull yourself out of the hole and move forward.We do this day by day and dig harder when we get in the funk!! In support and prayer for you and your wife !
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Well the sanding and prep are almost done and I loved all the ideas. For a bathroom, its almost too much of a hassle to get a painter in. I can knock it out tomorrow. I will be leaning pretty hard on others and we do have some very good friends that will come to the rescue. I am in a much better mood tonight because I kept plugging sure but slow and got to watch "The Great Escape" with my 11 year old kid while my wife visited with friends. Learning, I can imagine the road you walked during that time was rocky and difficult. I am sure we will both see an extra pair of footprints when we look back on the path our lives took. We are relying and keeping faith in God. Thanks again for the inputs guys and gals! Tom
-- Edited by turninggrey on Saturday 25th of September 2010 10:18:50 PM
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
This may be one of those times where you need to call on your A.A. brothers and sisters from your meetings and ask for some help in doing the household tasks that need to be done. You are likely to find many willing to help. Then, you'll not only have some folks to share the work with, but their emotional support as well.
My prayers for you and your family.
God Bless,
BGG
Quoted for truth
These people carried me when I couldn't carry myself, you need to be 100% for your wife, That was the one thing they POUNDED into me as a Paramedic was everything that happens is going to be remembered for the rest of this person's life, so get some help, get people to help carry you so you can carry your wife
I wish I could help, but the help is there if you reach out for it, otherwise my heart goes out to the both of you
Don't under estimate the love and desire to help that your fellow AA group members have. When I moved to Florida last fall I could not stop them from helping me. Jusk ask and you will be amazed.
Larry, -------------- Action is the antidote to despair. ~Joan Baez
My prayer is for your family. I pray that our Lord Jesus Christ will come to you and your wife and heal. He has always been there for me in my times of calamityand illness of my loved ones, when I could not see at all. Gonee.
I totally can relate to the "blahs." Please know that you and your wife remain in my prayers Tom. I too would love the chance to help if I could, but know that I'm with ya in spirit.
Prioritise - what NEEDS doing next - spending time with your wife, going to a meeting or picking up the paintbrush. and remember how to eat an elephant (one bite at a time)
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
