I am a single mother (28yrs old) blessed with a son who just happened to have Down Syndrome. I never thought I could have children and when I concieved him I was so happy and thrilled. At my 3rd mth Doctor visit I found out about him having Downs. It broke my heart but I decided to continue with the pregnancy. Which I am quite thrilled about becouse I can not imagine my life without him! He is my everything! He is also my Hero...while pregnant they found my cancer! After 2 surgeries I am now without cancer but have to go to my oncologist every 3 mths. Ethan (my son) is doing well but we have a therapist come to the house weekly and I struggle with the exercises and the fact of DS. I have started drinking again and I know I am not helping him or myself. I feel like I have failed him at conception and after birth due to my alcohol abuse. I try to be the best mother and I know that I am during the day but after he goes to bed for the night I then think "I need a drink"! I feel horrible! Need support to get through these feelings! I want to quit drinking forever!
Welcome cynthia! Our third tradition tells us the only requirement for membership is the desire to stop drinking so glad you found us here.!..Have you thought of attending a meeting and getting a sponsor? You have already experienced miracles in your life from freedom of cancer and you can have another miracle of freedom from active alcohol abuse but it will take admission of unmanageabilty in your life due to using alcohol.(MEETINGS ,LITERATURE,STEP WORK,SPONSORSHIP WILL HELP YOU LEARN MORE ABOUT THE DISEASE AND YOURSELF) You will find that we will also love you until you really learn to love yourself,something I get a feeling from your share that is not quite so at the moment!Don't beat yourself up so much as "life on life's terms will do a good enough job at that but do "make a decision that you no longer want to live like this and take some action to the last 6 words you wrote!!!! I just want to say I also have managed a sheltered workshop for people with disabilities for over 30 years and some of the people in my life daily are men and woman with Downs Syndrome.We have a wonderful relationship and I loved them dearly.God has blessed you with a gifted child and I share your joy and I know at times you must grow weary,but have faith in the God of your understanding and I'll also keep you in prayer .,You can do this!!!!!
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Hello, Both my ex-husband and myself were drunks for a long time and this affected our son terribly. My excuses for using were endlesss, bad marriage, bad job, no money, juvenile deliquent for son, etc., I have been sober for 8 years now, my ex still struggles with alcoholism and my son is now 26 years old. He was in and out of juvenile hall and jails for years. However, I knew if I kept my sobriety he would see me as a role model and eventually, God willing, would straighten out his life. This has happened little by little. I know the stress of raising a child alone beause I also had a young daughter who was 10 years old when I got sober. My daughter is now in college. I know its hard with a disabled child (my nephew is deaf, blind and retarted), but please for your own sake and your childs please find a support group of mother's of children with down's syndrome, stay in AA and do everything you can to build a community of sober adults you can lean on. You deserve a good life and so does your son. I will pray for you and please keep in touch with me.
You sound like an incredibly strong woman who has been through a lot and who loves her son tremendously.
Because of life's "events" feelings of guilt and inadequacy has caused havoc in my life and my "needing a drink" to get through much of it. Currently I am doing everything (seeing therapists, taking meds, attending a substance abuse program, AA meetings) to help myself. Do you have any free time for yourself to do something that fufills your soul? I am still trying to find what that is for me, but with the help I am receiving, I feel much more at peace without alcohol in my life (and trust me, I am only newly sober--started in April, relapsed in July, back on track in August).
I am sending much strength your way.
-- Edited by Give me strength on Sunday 19th of September 2010 07:56:36 AM
have you investigated (yellow pages or online) local parent groups of children with DS? others are going through what you are.... and mutual support is much more healthy than covering it up with alcohol. through others help, you could possibly find time once a week to take a class in something you have an interest in. less time at home in misery thinking about the the drink. hugs jj
Hello: I have dealt with issues of low-self esteem, low self worth and insecurity all my life probably due to growing in in an violent alcoholic home and then marrying into a domestic abuse situation. There were other issues in my life also which I felt I had to keep drinking over. So I attained the experience, strength and hope needed to stay sober for 8 years. I found I had to work to make a life for myself. It was like I woke up after decades of drinking and drugging not knowing a thing about my likes and dislikes. Anyway, I've tried out anything I thought would be fun and that I felt strong enough to do in sobriety. What I have found is I love hiking in the Sierras, I volunteer for a family Camp in the Sierras, I do Bikram (hot) yoga twice a week, I got a dog so now I have dog friends (LOL). I also went to domestic violence group, ACOA group therapy, and am now going to Al-anon for double winners and joined a 12-step women's group where we work the steps together. I am currently seeing someone but its more of friendship and I am working on male friendship only. I have a core group of women friends whose friendship and suggestions are invaluable. Of couse, I work the steps, have sponsor and sponsees, plus lately have gotten close to a group of women in a recovery home. This may sound like alot (and it is...LOL) but I've developed slowly and consistently over the past 8 years and never gave up. In the last year I have learned to hold my ground despite the uncomfortable feelings of inadequacy and bouts of low self-esteem. For me its about going my own pace and trying out new experiences and opening up to people I feel I can trust. I wish you strength and peace. Please write back whenever you would like to. Thanks.
