Feels like forever, but only maybe 2 or weeks since I checked in and written, have been reading the board about twice a week...
Have been staying pretty quiet, and introspective, have a major health issue that is very serious, and so it has been endless trips to different Docs, specialist....and then sending me to the next place, to do this Procedure and then on the the next. So grateful indeed for living here in this country and in an area where we have the some of the best ever in the field of Medicine. so so greatful indeed.
Listening to my wonderful, God filled Meditation tape every morning while I attempt to calm my nerves and I cannot tell you JUST how much it works, have some great and wonderful people in my life that have been with me, going with me to many of these procedures....and when I go, I keep my HP with me, just by asking HIM to come with me and stay close.....strange how I always, always feel safe and secure where ever I go....
Kind of knew something was coming up.....have been losing weight slowly, maybe l or 2 pounds a month, and believe me it is now from lack of eating....Love and prepare the most healthy of foods, always have and hopefully always will....
Have been under strict orders to stay away from crowds of people, any grouping, as my immune system is running almost on empty, so no meetings, but honestly have felt that way, and have not been going for a while, I MISS the faces and the chats, and mostly my favorite, the brand new person, but there is someone in my life, a man that has come and worked on my house for ages, and I pray I have planted that seed. He has had 2 DUIs, and just this morning in a conversation about his next trip, he now talks very openly about his cutting back on the number of beers, and when he told me FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, HAVE decided to do 90 in 90, it made my day and put such a smile on my heart, this seed was planted maybe 2 years ago, and some flowers just take longer to bloom, right.
Anyway sorry if I got off course, but more than anything just wanted to say hello, I miss all of you, every single one of you AWESOME folks.....
Welcome to all the new tender blooms, the current newcomers, WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME. If you follow the wisdom of the suggestions of our long timers, you can do it, I was a long time, head like a brick-relapser, started to say, then had to amend that to, when I turned and begged GOD to help me, HE saw to it that I got my ass in chair everyday for about 2 years straight, just listened 90 percent of the time. And that worked for me.... And worked those Steps as dilligently as I could, all 12, it took a long time maybe 2 years to get thru to the 9th, But it was that Surrending to Step One, almost over my own dead body that brought me to that despiration that you hear about. Had a real tough sponsor and that worked so well for this brickhead of an alke.
So now I am just rambling. But had to check in, it was just getting way tooo long to stay away from my cyber buds.
Love and Big Fat Hugs to you all. Tonicakes ..
-- Edited by Just Toni on Friday 17th of September 2010 09:26:01 PM
Toni, I'm so sorry to hear you are having so many health issues. I know what you mean about taking your Higher Power with you. I don't know what I would do without God in my life. I will be praying for you and thinking about you in the days to come. Please take care of yourself and God Bless. Post as often as you can, I value your wisdom and miss you!
Nice to hear from you Toni. Don't worry about the health issues. Remember I said don't worry and not don't care. I find God's trusted servants are always put into the fire to purify them. If we refuse to go that's fine. He takes us out and we no longer need to serve Him.
But I want to experience God's power in my life. He says :"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. THREE times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2cor12:7.
At age 50 I have now have health issues, but for me personally as a servant of God, it keeps me from exalting myself. On the contrary my boasting is now in my weakness. Its OK to boast about weakness. God's grace is given to the humble.
I pray that you are well, my dearest of friends. God bless.
Hey Toni! Glad to hear that you are still strong and on the top side of the lawn! You are a gracious, wonderful woman and a stellar example to me and others! Thank You! I'm praying for your stability and healing! Love...Rob
The "peace that surpasses all understanding" flows through you from the power of the God of your understanding. I also will lift you up in prayer and supplication to my Higher Power for your continued strength and endurance.One of my favorite spiritual readings that always brings me strength in timesi of difficulty says: Those who hope in God will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary ,they will walk and not grow faint!"Thank you Toni for always being here to share your joy and pain with us as we can identify and know we are never alone.Have a blessed and productive day!
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Hi Toni, so nice to hear that your handyman friend is starting to blossom because of the seeds you have planted! What a marvelous thing, and a great example of how we can help others through AA, even when we are not in a meeting.
I am praying for you and hoping that you continue to have peace about whatever is going on in your medical situations, and I know that you and your HP have a very intimate, loving relationship which I admire so much. That you "take him" with you and acknowledge his presence everywhere you go has always been an inspiration to me.
Anytime you need a meeting, please come here and meet with us. I always look forward to seeing your experience, strength, hope, and WISDOM. And I hope you will be feeling better soon and able to get to the face to face meetings that you miss so much right now.
Love and hugs being sent your way, Joni
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
Nice to see ya back Toni. You remain in my prayers. How awesome it is when we can see the program start doing what it's so good at! Thanks for the reminder.
Aloha Toni...Taking care of you AND giving back to others what a concept. Hoping you get better as Ihope that for myself...currently dealing with an URI and because of age it now takes a bit longer. HP always. ((((hugs))))
Hey Toni, Sorry to hear that you are struggling with health issues. I hope it all passes quickly! My wife and I are working her breast cancer issues so we are in a whirlwind of medical offices right now and since I am already deeply in prayer, I will gladly extend for you the "two for one special" while I am "on the phone" with my HP. Tom
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
