Some folks here have indicated that my well being matters to them so I am droppin' a note lettin' ya'll know that I am peachy-keen.
I've had some emotions lately and even lipped off about one of them at my wife, but I let it go, re-aquired my Serenity and apologized for an unfair declaration.
Today I auditioned for a community theatre production of the musical "Snoopy". I have stayed away from community theatre because that was one of my "places" & "peoples", but I'm ready to do it again...sober. I've never embraced singing roles before because as a smoker I had a very limited range, but now that I've quit it turns out that I can hit some tenor notes now, not just baritone. So...I'm eligible for more parts. I want either Linus or Snoopy. I admire Linus' serenity and Snoopy is fun because of the varied facets of his character.
Autumn is on the horizon here in Northeast Iowa and I welcome it. Today I'm making a pork-loin roast and a Greek pasta salad. Yum!
I wish you all the very best and also God's grace in your endeavors!
Oooooooo..I wanna have dinner at your house--sounds deliscious! How wonderful that you can make it right with your wife. Good for you!! Happy sober Sunday.
Thanks. I'm over it. Not the first time I've had the football pulled away
My new group therapist is very enlightening asbout the family dynamics of our disease. Our families are sick, too. If we start to get better before they do it throws them off. If my wife won't go to Al-Anon, or seek some other help, I am going to have to get used to taking sh*t I don't deserve just because she's so used to giving me sh*t that I DO deserve.
Thanks. I'm over it. Not the first time I've had the football pulled away
My new group therapist is very enlightening asbout the family dynamics of our disease. Our families are sick, too. If we start to get better before they do it throws them off. If my wife won't go to Al-Anon, or seek some other help, I am going to have to get used to taking sh*t I don't deserve just because she's so used to giving me sh*t that I DO deserve.
Better now than before. Peace, Rob
Yep. Our BB says almost the exact same things about our families. I was reminded that my drinking damaged my wife as well, and I got "better" quicker than she did. The big arguments started when I told her she HAD to go to Al -Anon if we were ever going to get back to being a "normal" couple (lol, i said normal). Boy was I wrong. I just had to learn to give her some space and time, and let her work it out for herself. Have you read the chapter to families in the BB? That helped me more than anything else.
After you've made all the amends you can though, it is up to you to decide if you are living with a bitchy wife who was damaged before you met her or if she really has the ability to move on having accepted you as a changed person. That's the tough one.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Rob!! I am sorry you didn't get to be involved in this play, but I am sure there will be others if that is one of your heart's desires. God likes to give us gifts like that, just in His time, and I know you already know this.
As to the family stuff, yes, it sucks that others in our lives don't follow suit and GET BETTER like we try to do. It's hard to once again be on a different page and it can be frustrating. I try to remember than I wasn't going to get better on someone else's schedule, and I had better not expect others to get better on my schedule, either.
Hope things remain tolerable for you, and I know you have great support in AA where you live. Take care and good hearing from you!
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
I try to remember than I wasn't going to get better on someone else's schedule, and I had better not expect others to get better on my schedule, either.
Thanks for distilling it down into something I can fit in my pocket, Joni. Mark & Reff are on to something, too. Her Dad's alcoholism conditioned her before I showed up. I love her SO MUCH!!! I'm not gonna throw down ultimatums or anything like that. I'm also not going to cut loose. If I turn her loose she'll end up with another addict and won't even know why. Better/worse/sickness/health. She'll get better on her own schedule as long as I continue to stay sober in practice, thought & deed. I was a friggin' mess for decades...I think I can weather out some healing.
Very well put Rob. If your ever curious how ultimatums end up, I would be happy to share my story =o). The wife didn't like my "you HAVE to go to Al-anon or..." one single bit lol. Needless to say, she doesn't attend meetings, and I no longer try and make 12 step calls on her. I mean hell, she doesn't even drink LMAO......