August 12 First we take a look backward and try to discover where we have been at fault; next we make a vigorous attempt to repair the damage we have done... Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions p.77
As a traveler on a fresh and exciting A.A. journey of recovery, I experienced a newfound peace of mind and the horizon appeared clear and bright, rather than obscure and dim. Reviewing my life to discover where I had been at fault seemed to be such an arduous and dangerous task. It was painful to pause and look backward. I was afraid I might stumble! Couldn't I put the past out of my mind and just live in my new golden present? I realized that those in the past whom I had harmed stood between me and my desire to continue my movement toward serenity. I had to ask for courage to face those persons from my life who still lived in my conscience,to recognize and deal with the guilt that their presence produced in me. I had to look at the damage I had done , and become willing to make amends. Only then could my journey of the spirit resume. Daily Reflections p.233
Often when we're being tough and strong, we're scared. It takes a lot of courage to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to be soft. --Dudley Martineau
We've developed defenses for protection because we have felt the need for protection from the abuses of others, parents on occasion, bosses, spouses, even strangers. And in certain situations, our defenses served us well for a time. However, they have taken their toll. Hiding behind them for long makes them habitual, and we move farther and farther away from our center, from the person each of us needs and wants to be.
Exposing who we really are invites judgment, sometimes rejection, often times discounting. It's a terribly hard risk to take, and the rewards are seldom immediate. But with time, others respect us for our vulnerability and begin to imitate our example. We are served well by our integrity, in due time.
Letting others see who we really are alleviates confusion, theirs and ours. We no longer need to decide who we should be; we simply are who we are. Our choices are simplified. There is only one appropriate choice to every situation--the one that is honest and wholly reflective of who we are at that moment.
Rewards will be forthcoming when I am honest.
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Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
