ive moved to a new county over a Year now. ive still been using my old sponsor from from home town the area im in is mostly male members.
im 4rs around and alot of the female members in my groups are in and out not around very long and havent worked all the steps.
ive never had a male sponsor and always stuck to the man for man woman for woman suggestion.
im startng to feel ive no choice but to ask a male member who has worked the steps and continues too.
m temp sponsor gave me a wake up call yes as regards issues going on in my life. my pride can still get hurt and that usually means the other person is right in what they are saying,
basically shes telling me keep it simple or i will go simple makes so much sense! my practice for today is to just do that and not let myself get consumed.
if id a fulltime sponsor i know i would feel more grounded. so im praying for the right teacher to appear.......
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life is a journey not a destination peace xx Trace
At four years, I think you could do fine with a male sponsor. I know of men that have women sponsors and vice-versa.
I understand the wisdom of a same-sex sponsor, as a general rule, but when you've been sober four years you should be able be honest with yourself about keeping your relationship with a sponsor on "business" terms rather than getting emotionally involved. With newcomers it's a little bit riskier.
Hopefully you can find a potential sponsor who feels the same way.
Looking at the meetings I attend, I know for sure there are at least 3 men in one of those meetings who I could ask to sponsor me and I firmly believe it would be a successful relationship. They are all alot older than me - I feel more comfortable with that.
Like has been said, I think you have enough "recovery" time to be able to do so in a safe way.
And I always remind myself that nothing is set in stone - you can always bring it to an end if it seems uncomfortable. Some issues may crop up that you would prefer to speak to a female about - however at least for the most part you will hopefully be able to relate to your male sponsor as a fellow AA which I find does mostly cut across the sex barriers.
