I wanted to share I took a huge step last night. I admitted to the man I am in love with that I suck at managing money. The reason I pushed him away the past 8-9 months was because I was scared that he wouldn't love me anymore if I told him I needed help with finances. I have a lot of medical bills from my therapist and my psycholgist, I just had a mamogram that is going to cost me $350.00 so the bills are piling up, plus my discover bill. I have tried for 10 years to "make" it on my own. I can't do it anymore. I was shocked to find out he loves me no matter what. 1,000 in debt or 500,000 in debt. I can't believe this. One of the reasons I was divorce is because I couldn't manage the bills, plus he wanted his drinking buddy back, which was not going to happen.
I had to place some boundried with my daughter because she doesn't trust him because he did hurt me in the past and in turn I have hurt him. We sat my kids down last night told them that we were going to be together and that means he will slowly insert himself into our lives permanently. My son is thrilled. Another man in the house hello sports I don't know if I have ever had this kind of unconditional love. Better or worse. I am in shock. He, Dan, told me that he is so proud of how much I have accomplished, ie getting sober, raising 2 kids with no help, except for a small amount of child support, and being a kind person.
One of my biggest fears was/is being laid off and losing my house. I know that seem selfish but it's true. I was scared to death to tell him and he told me he was scared to death of losing me. My debt can be taken care of. So now I have going to learn how to budget money. Excited and scared.
Honesty ,the antidote to our diseased thinking!!!! I am happy for you and with continuing work in the "solution' with your Higher Power guidance(through seeking and improving your contact)you can do this one day at a time...Love can conquer all. Accept it,take the journey together,and just share from your heart,somethings that we may have never done because of our addiction...Let us know how its going.Have a blessed and productive day..
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Trust God, clean house, help others...all in the same post. I'm grateful cause I needed to read it this morning. Mahalo SusanB...now time for me to work it too. (((hugs)))
we are as sick as out secrets. I have been holding that one for to many months. It's amazing what fear can do. The last thing I want to have happen is for me to pick up that first drink. I needed to let go and let God. Glad it helped someone!
Susan, Nice job. It's not easy to talk about our shortcomings, but it's a must if we're going to stay sober, recover and be spiritually fit. My sponsor always reminds me that God loves the truth! Do the next right thing and let God reveal more. As long as your moving your feet forward, being honest and taken action God won't give you anymore than you can handle. Let go- Let God..........
I had the same problem with my new boyfriend--money, money, money.
But we have managed 2 job losses plus various other expenses.
As for the mamogram our hospital here in MI has a program for FREE services for that and Pap and other services, you may want to check on that.
Also for other services, it goes by income levels. I have also checked online for various medication services like PPP and others. I cut mine from $435 to $98 per month on some. Some of them you have to reregister each year others you do not--may want to look into those.
Susan, how very brave, and I can identify! I always wanted men to think I was "responsible and in control and complete" as far as finanaces went. But I was often hiding the fact that I just didn't know how to deal with money. Most found out the hard way. I commend you for being brave and talking about it with your Dan. People who really love us will respect and love us all the more if we can just quit hiding things and start being more honest. And sometimes they can help us to better ourselves too, by teaching us how to change and get better!! Awesome post!!!!
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
I am glad I came clean with Dan. I really want this relationship to last. He is going to come to church with me....when it's not golf season He isn't an alcoholic so it's easy for him not to drink around me. He is even trying to cut down on his cig. habit. He also has experience with an old girlfriend that is still out there. we started going thru so of the stuff tonight. He just went to pick up Peyton, my 15 almost 16 year old son, from Golf practice while I finish up with dinner. Usually I didn't want to cook cause I was picking up peyton and dropping him off at the golf course coming home for a little while then right back to pick him up. It's going to be a happy night.
Honesty ,the antidote to our diseased thinking!!!! I am happy for you and with continuing work in the "solution' with your Higher Power guidance(through seeking and improving your contact)you can do this one day at a time...Love can conquer all. Accept it,take the journey together,and just share from your heart,somethings that we may have never done because of our addiction...Let us know how its going.Have a blessed and productive day..