Guilt. It's a word that can invoke in us the deepest, most terrible feelings of loss, horror, anger, and helplessness. Why did I do what I did? Why couldn't I have done more? Did I not do enough? Did I do too much? Did I wait too long? .
And we beat ourselves up for all these questions and "if-onlys". Why do we do this? Because we wish we could have done more, or wish we had not done what we did.
We cannot change what we did or did not do.
What we can do is stop hurting ourselves over the guilt. Each of us, in our own way, did what we thought was right at the time, using what we knew and felt. Each of us tried to do the best we could, and did it with the intention of love.
We are human beings, with frailties and faults. We don't know everything. We make mistakes. But we make them with the best of intentions.
To hurt ourselves with the terrible additional pain of guilt is to do disservice to us. With very, very few exceptions, we did the best we knew to do at the time. Even if we feel that we didn't do what we should have, or did what we should not have, we have learned, and everyone will benefit from that knowledge now.
We still torture ourselves with the pain of guilt and doubt. It's human to do that, too, but are we being fair to ourselves?
We loved, deeply, and that says that we have a deep capacity for love that many do not. We are basically good people. Should we not recognize that goodness, instead of inflicting pain on ourselves for what we could, or should, or should not have done?
We need to forgive ourselves. We can make a difference. But only if we quit hating ourselves, blaming ourselves, for being human.
Let the guilt go. Let yourself forgive yourself, and allow all the love you have to be there for another. There are so many who need it.
Learn, and then teach. Keep learning, and don't stop. Every pebble of knowledge and caring you send out will ripple throughout the world, and keep growing.
Yesterday is gone.
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Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
NO ACTUALLY BEEN BATTELING WITH IT AND WELL IT'S NOT AS BAD AS IT WAS WHEN I WAS DRINKING...I KNOW I MADE A SOBER AND RATIONAL CHOICE...BUT THESE CHOICE JUST WASNT WHAT I WANTED TO HAVE TO DO.
IT'S NOT ALWAYS EASY TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF AT LEAST NOT FOR ME I ALWAYS USED TO STAY AND FIGHT.
JUST A NEW WAY OF LIFE NOW AND JUST NEW TERRITORY AND DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM SUPPOSE TO FEEL.
As we close one door, we stand in a hallway, and start turning the handle of another door, to open it. The hallway is the transition as we begin to go through another door into new territory. Kinda scary but we know that God would not have us open that new door, without good and better things for us, on the other side.
oops-I gotta wash my hands first, got sticky stuff on them from the last door handle. Oops-got some mud on my shoes too-better clean that off--hmmm -got bruises on my butt from kickin myself--wele put some salve a that too-itll heal.
There all better.:)
Ready to baby step through the new door, with faith, and positive thoughts.
Now-open the new door, and YOU GO GAL!! (smile)
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Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
Guilt is a natural human emotion and vital to our spiritual well-being. It, like all emotions, is neither good nor bad, it just IS. What we do with it can be considered positive or negative.
I'm afraid I must disagree with the approach that says our intentions are always good or that guilt is good for nothing. It is precisely through my guilt I know who to make amends to and what character defects were involved. This then means that my first action is to take full responsibility for my guilt and earnestly seek out those places where I have been at fault, own then and then deal with them in whatever way seems most approppriate. To simply tell ourselves we're good people and didn't mean it only works for sociopaths. There is absolutely no growth involved in simply labelling it as bad and rationalizing our actions (or non-actions) that led to it. To feel guilt is to have a conscience and that is a precious gift. It is our moral compass.
There are indeed occassions where guilt is inappropriate. This is often the case when grieving a loss. 'If only I'd done this or not done that or was more this and less that, etc.' This is where talking about your guilt with a good friend, sponsor or professional is essential. Indeed, it is always a good idea to get some objective perspective on what is bothering us in most or even all cases of guilt.
