Advice about lifestyle choices in recovery please

Vinohrady · Newbie

Advice about lifestyle choices in recovery please

gonee · MIP Old Timer

There is no way in the AA book where it suggests that we should give up our careers and plans for our sobriety. On the contrary it suggests that we work a program diligently so that we may overcome our obsession for alcohol. Once that is done through the steps and if are in fit spiritual condition we may do anything that our desires us to do, as long as we continue with steps 10,11&12. This has been my experience for the last 22 years. It is good to see you work the steps with your sponsor. Remember that your 3months experience needs to be shared with others who might need that.

slugcat · Senior Member

But does this mean I can never do certain things like move abroad?

yeh we can move abroad its ok to do that! You can maybe find AAs in a lot of foreign places. And they got online meetings now and that AA loners thing for people who cant get to meetings. But i bet there are some meetings if not many in a lot of places that you might teach english.If you ask the GSO/s where meetings are you might find some meetings where you will be teaching. http://www.aa.org/lang/en/aa_international.cfm?origpage=31 has a list of countries and some of them have an AA website, like the Japan one looks really good for foreigners.

I moved from NZ to UK and i found it hard because left all my friends and support and sponsor (thu my sponsor i had little contact with anyways). But anyways i found it hard because i had no support base like at home but i found meetings in the UK and gotpeoples phone numbers. Out of money troubles when we first moved over we had to live in real cheap accomodation and there was a lot of drink around me and i foudn that really hard. it did my head in. But i was lucky because UK is not a big culture difference from NZ. I found a fellow NZr over here when we first moved an old friend- wierd conicidence i think not we bumped into each other at a meeting - on the other side of the world, talk about HP stuff. and that helped too.

-- Edited by slugcat on Sunday 22nd of August 2010 07:33:01 AM

louisa · Senior Member

Hello Nicholas and welcome,

I am with Gonee & Slugcat on this.

I really think your plans give you something really lovely to look forward to. I think it's a wonderful plan!

These days there is no need to be away from a support system in AA anyway....with communications being what they are......and you always will have your Big Book! aww

Well done on your 3 months!

I think alot of the talk of waiting to make major decisions often relates to relationships/marriage and/or break ups etc.......all that kind of stuff. That is probably wise ....I don't know.......even in those cases I think one "suggestion" cannot really apply to everybody.

Very best wishes!
Louisa xx

-- Edited by louisa on Sunday 22nd of August 2010 07:34:27 AM

happycamper · MIP Old Timer

Welcome V !!
Welcome to MIP and to living a great sober life too.

I have heard many times in AA meetings that it is suggested to not make any major changes in the first year of sobriety. I honestly believe that this suggestion is different for every person. And the reason being for the suggestion is that major changes such as geographical moves, job changes, relationship endings or beginnings can have a tendency to take the focus off staying sober which is in all reality our main priority.

It sounds as tho you are most definately on the right track in the program ... you've got a sponsor, you're working the steps, going to meetings. Great !!

It is also suggested to stay in the day and live the day we are currently in. If you are planning to move abroad and teach in sept of 2011 then thats wonderful. However, try very hard not to live in september of 2011, cuz its not here yet. Alot, and I mean alot can change between now and then.

I believe that when I pray about stuff going on or about to be happening in my life God will make sure and see to it, then all will be well. Might not be the way I want it to be or the way I expected it to be, but all will be well. Only when I follow His guidance, work the steps, help others and dont drink.

Balance in sobriety is a tricky accomplishment for some. But it is attainable and again of course is different for each individual.

Today, my balance goes like this :

1. God
2. Family
3. AA

And exactly in this order.

Again, welcome. And by all means, go ahead and make plans for the future, just dont live in them

angelov8 · MIP Old Timer

We can make plans but have no expectations about how things will turn out. More will be revealed. As long as sobriety is my number one priority, I can watch the rest unfold. I agree, best to stay focused on for today.

I believe the book Alcoholics Anonymous says that once the obsession is remove and my house is in order I can be free to go where ever, because where ever you are, there you are.

Wiley · Member

This strikes me as One Day At A Time territory. It might be unwise to assume you'll be sober next September, if that's what you're doing. I understand you certainly hope to be. But, plenty of people got drunk worrying about too far into tomorrow and bringing problems backwards from the future. Of course you'll be able to travel abroad someday, and just about anything else you want to do, but specifically by September 2011? Who can say? There's over a full year of early recovery to live in the meantime.

Were it me, I'd focus on August 23, 2010 and worry about September 2011, well, next year. You've been out of treatment a couple months. Take it easy. Baby steps.

Rob84 · MIP Old Timer

Congrats on your time in soberiety! It sounds like you are doing the right things.

Like you said soberiety is our #1 priority today, and we must make all decisions based on that fact.

Where I got sober, the advise is always that we make no major decisions until after we have worked the 12 steps and have been sober 1 year.

Our primary purpose is to try and be of maximum service to God and others, and I would think you could find a way to do this abroad.

A big gift of our soberiety is that opportunities and doors that will be opened if we stay on course.

I was always told that we don't get sober and just hang out in the AA rooms 24/7, we pursue our outside goals and work to become the employee, friend and family member that we never were.

That said, I would suggest you not dwell too much on future plans until next summer, and focus on you're personal growth in AA.

Don't try to make mortar without sand!

I hope this helps.

Aquaman · MIP Old Timer

Congrats, Nicholas!

AA is worldwide. You have millions of friends out there that you you haven't met yet.
Hi, my name is Rob and I too, am an alcoholic.
That's one more for you.

I live in Decorah, Iowa, USA. There are two meetings a day, every day, within 20 minutes drive of me.

Go where you need to do what you want. Life's too short to live in fear.

Peace,
Rob

Rainspa · Senior Member

You didn't mention where you are going, but chances are that AA is already there. If it AA isn't there maybe it's your job to start a meeting.

Even if AA is not available in the area you are going to, you can work the steps and have a program anywhere on this planet up to and including the high seas.

There is a part of AA called "Internationalists". It is for those that are on ships or in remote areas. The AA World Service office in New York can get you more information before you go. Give them a call or go to the website.

The answer you are seeking is in the 12 x 12. This is a way of living that works in rough going, and it works anywhere and in any conditions as long as you are willing to maintain a spiritual program.

Have a great time.