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Post Info TOPIC: Why We Celebrate Anniversaries


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Why We Celebrate Anniversaries
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You hear one day at a time, and that's how we do it - there really is no other way.  Time isn't something we can manupulate and jump ahead 10 years.  We progess those 10 years the same way everybody else does - one day at a time, one minute at a time, one second at a time. 

So why do we announce and celebrate our anniversaries in sobriety?

1. To remind the newcomer, and all of us, that it WORKS.
2. To acknowledge that it's a process and we keep coming back no matter how many years we have.
3. To share a brief moment - event if you will - in the process that is just another marker.
4. People who are sober have a sobriety date - or know within a few days at least, when they had their last drink.  Of course if a person does not wish to announce their sobriety date, that's their business - but I've known a few chronic relapsers who never, ever announce an anniversary - because it's constantly changing.

There is no person in the world, myself included, who can prove my sobriety.  Medical tests could determine I haven't had a drink of alcohol for several days at most, and I suppose someone my age who had continued to drink the way I was drinking would have had obvious organ damage by now.  But other than that, all I have to establish my sobriety is my memory.  My fellow AA members take me at my word, as I do theirs, because there's no proof.

Or is there?  If I were still drinking - even only occasionally - it would show up in my life somewhere, somehow.  Maybe it would be noticeable by close family... but maybe not.   But *I* would know it, and it would follow me everywhere I went.  If there's someone who can go to AA, profess to be sober, walk the walk, talk the talk, and keep happy and fool them all while regularly drinking, I'd be impressed - but it's not something I'd attempt.  I'd fail.  If I drank half a beer on a Saturday, and then Thursday went to my home group meeting, I'd feel as if it were tatooed on my forehead - no matter how normal I tried to act.  So...  yeah, if I tell my fellow AAs, my family, my wife, my employer, my doctor... that I haven't had a drink in over 21 years, they take it on faith.  But hopefully I show it in other ways.  Since I've been sober, I've been plenty of things - including flaming asshole.  But nobody has ever accused me of drinking.

Lastly, I have respect for elders.  Not because they are better than me, or smarter than me, or because they were raised better or because they grew up in a different time.  It's because they have more experience than me - experience is the stuff of life.  Experience can't be refuted or denied, and everyone's is unique.  I think of an oldtimer as someone with more sobriety than me, so as the years go by my definition of oldtimer shifts with it.  But what about somebody who has been sober since before I was *born*?   Ok, this is an American perspective so forgive me for omitting other world events... a person who saw the entire Vietnam war, the political upheaval and assassinations of the 60s, the drugs of the 60s and 70s, the entire exploration of space from day one, Watergate, who knows how many economic pendulum swings, the energy crisis (the first one), gas prices multiplied 10x to 20x, all of the technological advances since the transistor... all of this SOBER?  Heck, I didn't even take my *first* drink until 3 years after the last moon landing.

That oldtimer with all that experience knows this too shall pass.  I can claim to know it in my head, understand it in my heart, but that oldtimer has *experienced* it.  And there's the proof.  All of us are living proof, that it works - from one day to 60 years sober.

Barisax


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Wise words my friend.

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Great post barisax.You made so many good points I don't even know where to begin, so I won't. I'll simply say that truer words are seldom spoken!

Brian

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Ruadh gu brath



MIP Old Timer

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Yes...and also knowing others' sobriety time helps me understand somewhat of what I can expect from a sober life. I know good things are worth waiting for and just based on the awesome changes that have occurred in just shy of 23 months...I cannot imagine the journey that lies ahead if I can stay sober 21 years.

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MIP Old Timer

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Thanks for sharing , I enjoyed reading this.

It reminds me that there really is a difference in 30 days sober and 30 yrs sober.
That difference being obviously the time, and most importantly the experience.

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