i found myself reacting yesterday ina work situation. my colleagues and 1 were in our rest room and a conversation about alcohol began. some of them persisted it was impossible to give up alcohol, that they couldnt cope with social situations without a drink and anyone that can enjoy themselves without alcohol is fooling themselves. one girl preceeded to look up 20 questions online and totally take the piss. this girls knows i am in recovery i was so angry at her insenstivity. but i was more angry at myself for being sensitive to the whole situation
i am 4 yrs sober with 7 yrs of going to meetings behind me. i know im living my life in the day and at any given moment my alcoholic thinking can come back. this situation is showing me my own defects im working on that step at the moment, funny how they all show up once you get that awareness of yourself.
i know i was being self righteous with my attitude, but it is hard to listen to their attitudes to drink and i suppose i feel like i dont fit in when they start those conversations because im only a killjoy if i say anything which is negative in their eyes. i am grateful for being in recovery today, am grateful for this 2nd 3rd or 4th chance ive been given to learn to live. i accept im an alcoholic but sometimes it can be hard!
but this sober life is much easier than the life i had and thats for sure!! sorry i needed a good rant there hope i made sense to someone :)
have a good day all blessings
Trace
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life is a journey not a destination peace xx Trace
Leave them alone. My experience has been that, one day when they need help they will invariably turn to us. We just need to keep the candle burning in our own lives, so that they will spot the light when they themselves end up in darkness. The BB says that many of them are whistling in the dark because they are afraid of ghosts. The ones that pick on our recovery, I found are the ones who actually need it most. People that drink moderately never worry about this.
I agree with gonee let them justify and rationalize their drinking. I don't have to justify and rationalize my sobriety because every day it shows in how I live my life and how happy I am. Some day you may be able to help them take the first step.
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Tell me and I'll forget. Teach me and I'll remember. Involve me and I'll learn.
Just seems to me If a person is justifying drinking, they are the ones being sensitive. If you don't have a drinking problem then drinking isn't a issue to defend. People who don't have drinking problems don't even talk about drinking. You are a huge mirror to some of these people and they feel like they have to make it known the THEY don't have a problem! They think if they defend and justify their drinking then they are ok. Not sure if that made sense......
Hi there, my favorite response to those who drink, is: I don't mind if you drink, so please don't mind that I don't. I always say it with a smile...........and the conversation goes on to other things.
I also agree with the other posters, those who feel they have to justify their drinking are worried about it. I have my kids who are not in need of the program, and they never think about drinking or not.........a great thing to learn from ones kids.
And, whether or not we are normies, we all have our days of things bugging us, sounds like you had one of those days. I surely understand that for sure!!!
You learned from this Im assuming AND you stayed sober too.
As a side note : Id be a liar if I said that Im not sometimes jealous of ppl who drink. Whether they're drunks or social drinkers. Id also be a liar if I said I hated the way that first drink made me feel ... the warmth, the comfort, and the 'ahhhh' time to relax, kick back and enjoy.
Not all of my drinking was bad. I did have some good times. However, I graduated from being a social drinker, to moderate, to heavy and then crossed the line into a full blown alcoholic.
And, you're right Trace ... this can be hard sometimes, somedays. But my sponsor use to say to me ( and still does to this day ) when I complain - Did I ever tell you this was gonna be easy ? No, she didnt. She did tell me that if I followed her lead, worked the steps and totally relied on God that I would be alright. And - she was right !!
I have found over the years that my not drinking bothers people a lot more then their drinking bothers me. Many times when someone learns I am an alcoholic right away they start telling me how they don't drink much and it's not a problem and they can take it or leave it. I tell them it's okay I'm not the drinking police and it's none of my affair they are free to live their life as they want as long as it doesn't interfere with mine.
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Tell me and I'll forget. Teach me and I'll remember. Involve me and I'll learn.
Great post and replies! Trace, I can relate to the: _____________________ but i was more angry at myself for being sensitive to the whole situation. _____________________ I get that feeling sometimes too. Like I'm in recovery, worked the steps and been sober blah, blah etc........ My sponsor then reminds me that I'm an alcoholic, I'm human and not perfect. Humility? He also reminds me that this is a good message that I still have shortcomings and alcoholic thinking and that I'm not cured. Good reminder from God that I'm in the right place. Live, Learn & Grow.
A. I think it is pretty sad that anyone would make the argument that they can't enjoy social situations without drinking
B. I would consider myself more "normal" than them at that point because such a statement does reflect insanity that we are no longer subject to thank God.
C. I would be grateful to leave that office and go to an AA meeting at the end of the day where people that understand me are rather than going off to a bar and getting medicated so I could have fun...
D. I don't know if they were being insensitive or just ignorant and pathetic...either way...not worth renting space in your head.
E. Having said the above, shouldn't you feel even more happy, joyous, and free?
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Great thread, responses and support!! Thanks to all MIP!! Sounded like you had a bad day, and the insensitive clod pushed you into resentment for a bit. Ranting to those of us in fellowship can and will help. Do it whenever you need to. I do and it works!! Funniest thing about social situations and not drinking while others do.......those who know you're sober may or may not discuss it for the first couple rounds.....after they are feeling no pain----I rarely get any of them coming up to me and blathering about this or that regarding booze. Every other subject is fair game....that's what being social is...... Listening to confused thoughts, by alcohol, cures any of the resentment I may feel about not drinking with them. It's nice not to be confused today......I am not in the business of justifying anything or anyone.....I do the best I can for me....day by day!!
