The 1st step of AA is an ongoing realisation of my powerlessness over alcohol. Nowhere in the AA bb does it say that I will regain any power. This confirms to me that I will remain powerless for the rest of my life. The condition is irreversible. That also means that for the rest of my life I will be totally and utterly dependent on a power greater than myself. When I acknowledge this or admit it or fully concede to my innermost self, recovery begins. I have now admitted I am an alcoholic. I cannot drink alcohol. How do I determine this? 1. I have got to be honest with myself. When I take a drink am I able to control the amount I drink? It has got be YES or NO. I needed one more experiment after I came to AA and it nearly cost me my life. It's got nothing to do with my finances or companions or anything else. It's an irreversible condition of the body. 2. When I honestly want to stop drinking am I able to stay away from alcohol? It has got to be YES or NO. If the answer is NO, then I have an obsession in my mind which is beyond my natural control [insanity]. If these conditions are true then I will drink alcohol periodically or continuosly until I die or recover by seeking spiritual help by practising the 12 steps.
