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Post Info TOPIC: Would I rather be peaceful or right?
Larry_H


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Would I rather be peaceful or right?
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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

In every conflict, ask, "Would I rather be peaceful or right?"

The choice to be peaceful rather than right doesn't actually mean our opinions are unimportant. In fact, our particular opinions may make more sense in the larger scheme of things. Letting go of the battle is certainly far more sensible than the folly of expecting to change another person's mind. I credit Al-Anon with strengthening this resolve in me. The power of detachment, the willingness to choose to be peaceful rather than make every conversation a battleground, is freedom at its very best. There is no mystery in how this is done. It's a decision any one of us can make as often as the opportunity to disagree comes up.

We don't really even have to hope for a more peaceful life. It's ours just as quickly as we make the choice to want something different in our daily interactions. Remember, those who come forth provide us with opportunities for practicing peace.



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Reffner


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Well, if I'm honest, I want both. Yeah, like that's going to happen any time soon.
These days I try for peace and serenity. One practice that I was taught early on was to simply reply "you may be right" when there's a difference of opinion. It seems to help me keep an open mind and helps with the serenity. Today, I'm not at all ashamed to admit when I'm wrong, knowing that most of my life is still unmanageable. That's simply being honest with myself.

Thanks for the reminder Larry.

Brian

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Lexie


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Yup, I agree with Brian. (whew! there's one argument dodged! smile.gif )

Sometimes I will be champing at the bit to argue some arcane point or other that someone has thrown out there. And then I think, wait a minute--is this really about something I NEED to say, or is it just that what this person said, or the way he said it, ticks me off and my ego needs to put him in his place?

I've gotten pretty good at picking my battles, and also walking away from them when it becomes clear they are serving no useful purpose.

-- Edited by Lexie on Sunday 15th of August 2010 12:22:17 PM

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Lexie
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Reffner


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Ya know though, sometimes i still find the idea of (?good?) argument a little exciting. One of those character defects I guess I'm still not humble or willing enough to let go. Then again, maybe my HP is letting me keep it a little longer because He's not done helping me learn from it. We had a meeting a few weeks ago about "weeding the garden." A man with many years sober whom I respect greatly commented about his "weed patch" that he still tends to, waters, and keeps the other weeds away from. I related, and had to be honest enough to admit that I still have one of those too. Huh, I guess I'm human after all...LOL

Brian

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louisa


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*giggling* Depends on my mood......!!!!!biggrin
Louisa xx

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StPeteDean


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yeah, I still don't have much of a problem telling you what my opinion is. lol
I like what Dale Carneige wrote a quote of Lincoln's in his first book- "Yield to those matters
of little concern" Here's a great 13 minute audio from this chapter.

http://www.cornel1801.com/video/DC241188/dc0301/dchtw.html#

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MarcLacroix


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Reffner wrote:

Well, if I'm honest, I want both. Yeah, like that's going to happen any time soon.
These days I try for peace and serenity. One practice that I was taught early on was to simply reply "you may be right" when there's a difference of opinion. It seems to help me keep an open mind and helps with the serenity. Today, I'm not at all ashamed to admit when I'm wrong, knowing that most of my life is still unmanageable. That's simply being honest with myself.

Thanks for the reminder Larry.

Brian





We can have our cake and eat it too when expectations are realistic.
And I don't worry so much about stupid stuff.

Marc




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angelov8


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I have trouble with this in action when it comes to venting. I've been hanging out with my brother and it's been so tempting to rant about our parents together, in some kind of sense of solidarity. When I do it, whether we have valid points or not, I don't feel especially peaceful. I find my participation in these types of conversations happens and I don't recognize until I'm already in the middle. I'm getting better about not complaining at the end of a work shift with co-workers though.

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MarcLacroix


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angelov8 wrote:

I have trouble with this in action when it comes to venting. I've been hanging out with my brother and it's been so tempting to rant about our parents together, in some kind of sense of solidarity. When I do it, whether we have valid points or not, I don't feel especially peaceful. I find my participation in these types of conversations happens and I don't recognize until I'm already in the middle. I'm getting better about not complaining at the end of a work shift with co-workers though.





Parents...
Now there's a topic my sister and I strongly disagree on.

Marc


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