So sad with you loosing your sister to drink. I've lost family and friends also and it was hard to accept. With the continued losses acceptance came easier. Alcoholism is a fatal disease if not arrested by total abstinence. ((((hugs)))) We are totally powerless over alcohol and another person's drinking.
-- Edited by Jerry F on Wednesday 11th of August 2010 07:56:15 PM
I am so sorry. Very very sorry to hear this. I lost my mother to the drink when I was 4. Then I almost lost myself. Words cannot express how powerful this disease called alcoholism is. I pray for you and your loved ones tonight.
With deepest sympathy, Joni
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
From my point of view......the answer lies in the 'heart' of the individual. Others may see what is happening, however, it is ONLY the individual himself/herself that can conclude or arrive at a point they decide enough is enough and start searching for ways to stop. I, too, am sorry for your loss. My first REAL awakening to this disease was with the loss of my brother-in-law at age 35. It will always be a mystery if it was high level of alcohol in his system that "killed" him or the carbonmonoxide. He was found in his car, with garage door opener in hand, and the garage door shut, car running. No note.... We'll never know if his demise was intentional or he just passed out. His kids were young, however, old enough to realize that their father wasn't 'right'. In later years, they spoke of his black outs. He was a chemical engineer with a very good paying job. This disease, just like any other, can 'strike' anyone. It can and often takes multiple family members captive. Not only did it rob my brother-in-law, it took the life of nephew...from the same gene pool. And it led to the 'death' of my marriage. Though one could assume that from the loss of these relatives the remainder of the family would take measures to monitor/stop consumption.....the disease seems to motivate more. My AH still drinks! Along the way the disease has been responsible, as well, for the deaths of serveral close friends. All these individuals were intelligent people who knew how to get help for a cold. One would 'think' if they could do that, they would be able to seek help for alcoholism, yet it dupes it's victims into the belief that they have no problem allowing it to further progress. Though others may see it and say so, the victim is often oblivious to it. It hurts like hell to feel so helpless. With the help of AA I've learned and realize that I am not responsible for these incidents! It was their choice. My heart goes out to you. As my HP guided me through my grief so may yours.
The reason why someone drinks themselves to death is simple - they are alcoholic. It a very very sad statistic but we don't all make it out alive. We deal with alcohol cunning baffeling and powerful...
To some the thought of living without alcohol makes life not worth living, I was at that point but somehow I was brought to this program instead.
I know you would like an answer as to why your sister and the only answer is she was an addict. I feel very sorry for your loss and thank you for coming here for answers.
My best friend died from this disease, he tried many times to get clean. Everytime he gave in to his disease. All I can hope for is that when I speak or contribute at a meeting and mention his part of my story that maybe someone will hear the message and not follow his path. That will be his contribution to AA to maybe save another life. This can also be your sisters contribution to AA that you spread her story and maybe someone will live because of her.
This one of the saddest things about alcoholism, when we lose someone close to us. When I saw the destruction and death of so many in our families and friends, I also started to work with young people so that we can prevent the onset of this terminal illness. I am so very sorry for the loss of your sister.
So sorry for you loss. I can only say a few things based on my own experiences. When I was drinking...I only cared about getting drunk. The disease warps your thinking into believing you are only hurting yourself and you don't see the damage you are doing to others...In the moments that I was aware that my drinking was hurting my family, I drank to not feel that pain as well. In either case, it is a disease in which eventually, the response to every emotion become to want to drink...it is so powerful and encompassing. I am so so sorry for your loss, but your message is a reminder for all of us to keep taking our sobriety seriously. Most importantly, you should know that genetics play a factor here also and know that it is NOT your fault in any way.
In support,
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Thank you for your comments, it helps to connect with people that understand, i noticed when i found this site the picture of the Alcoholics Anonymous ( Big Book ), that was one of the few things she had left when she died, i have kept and read the book myself. To help myself and hopefully one of you, i will tell you the story of her struggle with alcoholism, the way it effected me and the sad heartbreaking circumstances that led to her death. She died three years ago, but it still feels like yesterday.
