A CAREER IN PUNS

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that, I tried to be a tailor, but I wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

Next, I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.

Then, I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

I attempted to be a deli worker; but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

Next, was a job in a shoe factory. I tried but I couldn't fit in. I became depressed and soulful.

Then there was the professional fisherman job. But I discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

I managed to get a job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as an historian -- until I realized there was no future in it.

My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.