There are those in A.A. whom we call "destructive" critics. They power-drive, they are "politickers," they make accusations to gain their ends -- all for the good of A.A., of course! But we have learned that these folks need not be really destructive.
We ought to listen carefully to what they say. Sometimes they are telling the whole truth; at other times, a little truth. If we are within their range, the whole truth, the half-truth, or no truth at all can prove equally unpleasant to us. If they have got the whole truth, or even a little truth, then we had better thank them and get on with our respective inventories, admitting we were wrong. If they are talking nonsense, we can ignore it, or else try to persuade them. Failing this, we can be sorry they are too sick to listen, and we can try to forget the whole business.
There are few better means of self-survey and of developing patience than the workouts these usually well-meaning but erratic members so often afford us.
It's like any other community; people are diverse, and no matter where we go, there are going to be toxic elements. We find them in public organizations, churches, anywhere people gather. I suppose it's all about human nature. I have found, over the years, that the ratio of good honest people to toxic people, though, isn't bad at all. I imagine because the program calls for rigorous honesty, and those who are rigorous stand out and attract others, who will hopefully follow suit.
The trap I have to avoid is (1) if I find someone is toxic, or borderline, I need to quietly remove myself from them and not turn it into grist for the gossip mill (2) look deep into myself and ascertain whether what I percieve and what is real, what am I personalizing and what is genuine nastiness? I suppose it is all in the eye of the beholder.
I guess if I were all well, and balanced and had met my expectations, I'd be out saving the world or busy finding a cure for diabetes. Alas, I am human and not even within shouting distance of healthy, so I need to tread carefully on how I determine what is destructive in reality, and what is destructive to the false view of self I may have. Does that make sense? I'm never certain whether someone is a "politicker", or if my hypersensitivity is in high self protection mode. Gods forbid if anyone disturbs my "look good", LOL. hugs, Chris
Sometimes some posts resinate with how we are feeling that day or in this case today, found this Post worth reading and re-reading. I have been MIA for a few weeks, sorting our some serious heath issues, that are turning into a "thumbs up" Thank you God.
Chris sometimes your choice of words are so very priceless to me....."Alas, I am human and not even within shouting distance of healthy",
Thank you Chris, and Glenn for the great reading material this am. opps, I mean this afternoon....
Realized that after writing my response, it felt like I was being discriminating, it is just that on certain days something just sort of get your attention more, I always read everything always, and it is all Good.
Hugs to all of my friends at MIP
Toni
-- Edited by Just Toni on Tuesday 3rd of August 2010 03:55:38 PM
