If you've been around for very long, you've probably heard some pretty funny gaffes while doing the readings at meetings - some of them intentional, some not. Aside from the 200 different ways to pronounce "anonymity", here are some funny ones I've heard:
"Sought through prayer and medication to improve our conscious contact...."
"The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop smoking..." - the lady reading this had a cigarette dangling from her mouth
"Continued to take personal inventory and when we were right, promptly admitted it"
"Admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our wives had become unmanageable"
"Admitted to God, to ourselves, and the entire internet the exact nature of our wrongs"
"Humbly asked him to remove our shorts"
"Made a list of all persons who had harmed us and swore to get even with them all"
"Got even whenever possible except when to do so would cause us further harm"
"A.A. is not allied with any sex, domination, politics, organization or institution"
"...a loving God as He may express Himself in our group unconscious"
"That feeling of usefulness and self pity will disappear"
One time there was a guy named "Hugh" in our group. As I was reading the part from "A Vision For You" at the end of the meeting, I accidentally said "God will constantly disclose more to Hugh and to us" while looking at him.
Another guy shared once that he had a big resentment for awhile because his name was Neil, and when they read "How It Works", sometimes they'd say, "Some of us have tried to hold onto our old ideas, and the result was Neil until we let go absolutely."
OMG, I was just thinking of starting a thread EXACTLY LIKE THIS this morning, on my drive to work.
Nice list, Bari. I've heard the "prayer and medication" one, myself, and a few others I don't remember, but they had me laughing at the time.
I think I read this one in the Grapevine years ago, but it has always stuck with me and I have to be careful when I read Step Six: "Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defective characters."
A guy with many years of sobriety sometimes share his mis hearing of there are no dues or fees for AA membership as 'there are no Jews or Thieves........' and saying to himself, well that's me buggered then.
One I hear regularly is 'many of us exclaimed What! An Order!! I can't go through with it.'
The other one I've heard is 'at these, many of us Boaked (instead of balked)' People from a certain part of Scotland will get that. Slang for vomited.
I don't mind genuine mistakes but always have a quiet word with the odd joker who slips his own words into a reading - 'Alcohol, cunning, baffling and Powerful (and expensive)' is one I've heard. I just ask the person who read why they put the extra in.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
In my early days before reading the Big Book & going to study groups myself I heard.. 'God could & would if He was sorted'.. I thought 'Yeah, so would I!' lol Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
At roundup they start making chicken sounds at "many of us balked" bawk bawk...it's lame.
They tend to do that at all the meetings in town here, (well certain members) I tend to find it sort of rude and almost like they are mocking the reading....
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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
SoberSteve wrote:They tend to do that at all the meetings in town here, (well certain members) I tend to find it sort of rude and almost like they are mocking the reading....
Like a lot of people, I tend to dislike any changes or trends which came along after I got sober. In my first meetings, everybody did "Keep coming back it works" at the end. But within a few months, it became "Keep coming back it works if you work it". And then, in some meetings (mostly Alanon) it became "Keep coming back it works if you work it and you have a lotta love". By this time I've already let go of the hands next to me thinking, WTF does this ever end? LOL.
Of course there was a time before me when there was no "Keep coming back", etc.
I really don't like any interjections on the readings. The reason is, it sounds like cross talk. The absence of crosstalk in a discussion meeting is a very important principle for me. If I'm talking, I don't want to be interrupted. If I'm *listening* I don't want to be interrupted. It's not "The View". I understand that the readings are not the same thing as a personal share, but IMO they should be treated with the same respect... one person is talking, thou shalt not inteject (not even "amen").
Certain meetings here have gotten into shouting "A!" "B!" and "C!" at the end of How It Works. For some reason, that strikes me as extra stupid. It's right up there with "the wave" at sports stadiums when it comes to distracting, annoying, and irrelevant actions. I refuse to do it. If I'm reading the how-it-works at one of these meetings, I just keep reading and don't pause to let people shout. It's not that I'm a stickler for precise protocol - many meetings have different openings, closings, readings, etc. It's about respect for the person who has the floor, and IMO that includes the readings.
My home group has never adopted any of this whoop-dee-doo. For that I am grateful. Many others have... I tolerate it, but I won't contribute to it. I guess part of me hopes for it to die of neglect and attrition but I suppose there will be something else to take its place. A lot of people claim it's all "in fun" and that it's appropriate, if not necessary, for a group of happy sober people to chant and exhalt as if at a tent revival, but I find it a turn off. Above all, alcoholics tend to be individuals and as an individual, I am very incomfortable in any situation of group or "mob" behavior, no matter how minor, where I feel I'm being swept up into a collective. I'll be the one standing with my feet rooted into the sand.
Barisax
-- Edited by barisax on Wednesday 4th of August 2010 03:22:19 PM
I hate to admit it Andy, but for that reason (" some groups have adopted all kinds of reading...") I make it a habit of coming about 10 minutes late to miss most of it . Don't do this if you're in your first year or two as you need to hear all this stuff untill you're hearing it in your sleep.
I hate to admit it Andy, but for that reason (" some groups have adopted all kinds of reading...") I make it a habit of coming about 10 minutes late to miss most of it . Don't do this if you're in your first year or two as you need to hear all this stuff untill you're hearing it in your sleep.
Most of the groups I go to have little or no variances in the readings. Preamble, how it works (or just steps), traditions, and promises read either at the beginning or ending of the meeting. Meeting may or may not have "closing remarks" or a prayer at the end. Some CA meetings I've been to read the last part of "A Vision For You" at the end, which I like because it's one of my favorite parts of the book - actually a part of it was read at my wedding! For the most part, the local groups here are pretty traditional and similar but then again, if you ask somebody who has been around 30 years they may disagree... LOL.
I've been to some narcotics anon meetings here and there, and they have extended readings at the beginning as well as more "audience participation". Now that I think about it, the groups most likely to have "extra" readings (or extra LONG readings) are not AA but Narc-Anon, Alanon, Alateen, Coda, Sexaholics, etc.... or "specialty" AA groups. We have those too - relationship groups, gay/lesbian groups, etc. Been to a few of those too. I went with my daughter to a gay/lesbian group in New Orleans one time. Actually the group wasn't, but the venue was. Interesting experience - in particular, learning that gay couples have the same relationship issues as straight couples... and the same behaviors when alcoholics are involved!
Still, it's the tent-revival stuff that gets on my nerves, especially when applied to the traditional readings.
"We are not saints..." "WHAT'S THE POINT???" "The point is, we are willing to grow..."
"Are these extravagant promises?" "HELL NO!!"
Saw a guy do that in a meeting one time, yells out (all by himself) "What's the POINT??" and the person reading stopped and looked at him and said, "Excuse me??" LOL... he must have been the only one in the room to have never heard that interjection before.
barisax wrote:Saw a guy do that in a meeting one time, yells out (all by himself) "What's the POINT??" and the person reading stopped and looked at him and said, "Excuse me??" LOL... he must have been the only one in the room to have never heard that interjection before.
Barisax
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I am also a traditionalist. I probably also would have stopped reading, looked at him and said "Excuse me??" Then after a long pause (a long pause can be very effective) I would have asked him would you like to continue this reading?
Larry, ----------- If we don't introduce the newcomer to the Big Book, how will he or she know what they don't know.
. Don't do this if you're in your first year or two as you need to hear all this stuff untill you're hearing it in your sleep.