Alcoholics Anonymous
Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Meds became a problem...
Post Info TOPIC: Meds became a problem...
Aquaman


MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 1201
Date:
Meds became a problem...
Permalink  
 

I have always presented a "pro-meds" point of view when the discussions have arisen here and in Real World regarding the pros & cons of pshycoactive meds during recovery and in sobriety. I still say that when life and safety are an issue; trust a doctor.

Turns out that it was me I couldn't trust. I have become cross-addicted to xanax; abusing them early in the prescription cycle and going through a week of withdrawals at the end of the cycle, resulting in just as much, if not more, anxiety and aggressive tendencies than the xanax is prescribed to treat.

First Step: Admitted it to myself this morning, three days into my benzodiazapine withdrawals, that I have been abusing this medications.

Next Step: Did the Next Right Thing; went and saw my MD and told him what was going on. He appreciated my honesty and is going to taper me onto a non-benzo anti-anxiety that will not engage the opiate receptors like benzos do.

And Then: Find a new sponsor; one that I trust, and start at Step 1 again.

What Happened & Why?
Xanax is hazardous to my sobriety because the more I take, the mellower I feel and I have been abusing it. 

Why stay on any meds?
I still feel impulses of dangerouly high levels of aggression and anxiety. I have not as yet gained the reliable proficiency with my set of spiritiual & cognitive toolbox required to be 100% harmless to myself and others.

So, now I understand the danger to sobriety of being on certain psychoactive medications.

I am thankful to God for this humbling experience.

Peace,
Rob
  

__________________

I alone can do it...but I can't do it alone.
jj


MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 661
Date:
Permalink  
 

What a huge step, Rob.  and thank you for sharing this with us.
There are dangers of abusing anything that makes me feel good (alters my mood). i have to avoid ebay and amazon because buying things activates my feel good receptors and i lose track of what i need and what i want.... and i want more, more, and more.
  anything that can be abused will be abused by an addict.  that is why we have an AA  program, the Big Book, a sponsor, AA friends, and this website.  we need so much support!!!
  thanks again for sharing
jj

__________________
Let go 
Let God       
Mike B.


MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 2520
Date:
Permalink  
 

Rob,
The program in action.  Nicely done.  Acknowledging and being honest with yourself about what your motives were/are, taking the next right step and seeing a doctor and getting in touch with a sponsor.  I see progress here and the willingness to change.  Humility- yes, we all need a good dose of that.  wink 
God will do for us what we can't do for ourselves as long as we take action and set the environment for change!

__________________
Jerry F


MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 3278
Date:
Permalink  
 



Thanks Rob and stay with the process.  That was pretty much mind and behavior
how I was taught to do it also.  Out loud and honest is the practice of courage
and commitment to Rob and Rob's sobriety.  Way to go. I was on a couple of
meds for approximately the same thing but flushed them when my spouse gave
me feedback that pretty much revealed I was looking like and walking like a
drunk.  My prescriber freaked either out of true concern for how I was coming off
or that my decision deipped into his source of income or that he had convinced
himself deeply that "My drugs are not harmful".  I got an AHA! when he person-
alized the prescription.   Anyhow the withdrawals wouldn't and didn't kill me as I
expected them to appear and had an alternative method of handling them that
I stuck to.  I'm back from the chemical process into the spiritual process.

smile

__________________
bikerbill


MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 1497
Date:
Permalink  
 

well done Rob - stopped kidding yourself and got honest and took action.

before i came to AA I was prescribed some Diazepam, to help me sleep. I took a couple and found I got drunk way too quick so stopped them. threw the bottle to the back of the drawer. Then I was prescribed a low dose of Citalopram.

early in sobriety I was given a small bottle of low dose diazepam (by my Mum!) to hang to 'just in case'.

February 07 and I experienced a hell of a trauma (in Sobriety), my sponsor was out of town, so i called my second choice, bottle of emergency Ds in hand and talked, and talked, but he told me to flush the Ds and come over and that's just what I did.

By June of that year, I'd been weaning off the Citalopram, as advised by the doctor, but then I decided I knew better, so i flushed those too. 2 weeks later and I'm probably at my craziest, going into an interview to keep my job. God knows what I said but I kept my job and got a discipline at the same time!

Fast forward to just a few weeks ago. I moved house January 09 and while rummaging about in the drawer, looking for my emergency stash of fag papers, what do I find? yep, that first bottle of Ds - I'd hung on to them all this time, 'just in case' even moving them from one house to another. Still needed the crutch.

I flushed the buggers.

If it's prescribed, take it as prescribed. If it ain't - flush the buggers.

__________________

It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got.
BB

When all else fails - RTFM
turninggrey


MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 1348
Date:
Permalink  
 

Good work Rob. Recognize and recover. Its our nature to abuse. The good news is you know the withdrawl is a time thing. It will pass.
Tom

__________________

"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around." 
TwelveSteps


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 362
Date:
Permalink  
 

Great job, Rob.

I just had to point out something that often appears to get lost in these debates over meds. There is a world of difference between non-addictive, non-narcotic psychoactive medications that only work when taken daily over the course of weeks or months and don't provide a "high" when taken (like fluoxetine, citalopram, and other SSRIs) and narcotic medications like Xanax, benzodiazepenes, etc. that produce an immediate reaction the way alcohol does and which can be addictive.

I can see how the latter would be problematic for someone with addiction issues, but I can't imagine the former (although I recognize there is lots of debate in AA on this) causing problems. The important thing though is to recognize that they are two very different classes of drugs.

GG

__________________
Aquaman


MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 1201
Date:
Permalink  
 

Yes, 12steps, that's absolutely true. The new stuff is a type of SSRI designed to work with my depression meds, which are also non-benzo.

Thanks for the props, ya'll. Just doing the next right thing.

Peace,
Rob


__________________

I alone can do it...but I can't do it alone.
happycamper


MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 525
Date:
Permalink  
 

Xanax is a highly addictive narcotic. Im surprized if your doc knew you were alcoholic that he would prescribe them for you.

Yep, step 1, admitting the powerlessness ....

I too was prescribed xanax but am not a pill popper. I took them not as prescribed cuz that was like 2 a day. Had a bottle of 30 and after a year it wasnt even 1/2 gone. I flushed the rest down the toilet when I realized that all I needed was God, AA, the steps, fellowship and the willingness to do whatever it took to stay sober.



__________________

 
FlyingSquirrel


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 422
Date:
Permalink  
 

For anyone else with questions on meds, a good pamphlet to look at is "The AA Member -- Medications & Other Drugs", which was put together in 1984 with the help of some physicians who were also AA members.

PDF Version here:

http://www.aa.org/pdf/products/p-11_aamembersMedDrug.pdf

__________________

Keep It Simple
Lexie


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 284
Date:
Permalink  
 

Good goin', Rob. Hopefully you will get some good results with the medication change.

My older son has suffered from serious anxiety and depression off and on since he was a young teen. One of his prescriptions caused a manic reaction that resulted in disaster. He's had seizures on other meds, and some aren't effective.

It's a shame that the very same medication that is a literal life-saver for one person will cause a horrible reaction in another. It's such a crap-shoot figuring out what will work with the medical state of the art. You might hit the jackpot and get lucky, or crap out and get suicidal.



__________________
Lexie
    ~ one breath at a time
Aquaman


MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 1201
Date:
Permalink  
 

Well Lexie...I'm hoping to get lucky because the alternative sucks. smile.gif

__________________

I alone can do it...but I can't do it alone.
jonijoni1


MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 1683
Date:
Permalink  
 

Oh Rob...... ((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

what a humbling thing, shows you are really and truly "in tune" with what you need to do for yourself, in ALL your affairs, for recovery.

crap shoot? yah. Indeed. But I would add that the newer stuff out there has a lot less potential for some of the more whacko side effects brought on in the "older days" of trial and error with psych meds.... and "combos" have become more tolerable and frankly, possible, due to MAOI's not used widely anymore.

don't be afraid. Just don't. (GOD's got it, as usual.) During long term recovery, (until OTHER issues took hold), I was given a Rx psych-combo that happened to work well right away, after being off stuff for many years. I didn't have to go through a bunch of trial and error this time, and was thankful for it. It does happen. And you are right, whatever lies ahead is better than the alternative(s) ---> (Y.E.T.S.)

Rock on, my friend. And try to be gentle with YOURSELF through this, just as you would be to a friend going through same.

(((((((in support)))))))

joni



__________________
~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do
that which you have no ability to do.
Aquaman


MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 1201
Date:
Permalink  
 

Thanks, Ya'll!
My new sponsor & I met briefly yesterday. Good vibe...very good. Meeting again today for the 'exchange of histories' and to lay out a game plan.

Still have to 'break up' with my old sponsor...outta town until next week.

Peace,
Rob


__________________

I alone can do it...but I can't do it alone.
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Meds became a problem...