Day 3...EXTREMELY IRRITABLE!

Danielle72 · Member

Day 3...EXTREMELY IRRITABLE!

Larry_H · MIP Old Timer

Danielle

Getting and staying sober is a very difficult task but oh so worth it.

My experience with quitting smoking comes from my sponsor. I was heavy smoker when I came to AA and my sponsor told me not to even consider quitting smoking until I was at least two years sober. His explaination was if I tried to quit two addictions at the same time it increased my likelyhood of failing.

Check this web site out for sponsor information

http://rumradio.org/how_to_find_a_sponsor.html

Hang in there you are worth it.

Larry,
-------------
You never have to drink again.

-- Edited by Larry_H on Tuesday 27th of July 2010 09:06:26 PM

jonijoni1 · MIP Old Timer

Welcome to the club, irritability is a common symptom of alcoholism, whether we are in active addiction or not. The Big Book says we drank because we were "restless, irritable and discontent". I am extremely irritable a lot of times right now. My life is changing and people just aren't BEHAVING THE WAY I WANT THEM TO!!!!!

But I keep coming back, going to meetings and sharing face to face with other recovering people, and it gets better. As long as I don't pick up a drink or substance, I know from experience from longer-term sobriety than what I have now, that the irritability lessens... it really does.

We're here for you, and we understand. It will get better, that is a FACT of recovery.

(((((((hugs))))))))

Larry_H · MIP Old Timer

Danielle

You can read the big book online here

http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_tableofcnt.cfm

Larry,
---------------
Don't give up before the miracle happens

FlyingSquirrel · Senior Member

Also ask the person chairing the meeting, they may be able to get you a big book. Your S.O. being in the same situation as you but less willing to admit it, he will be trying to get you to come back his way instead of him going your way. Nothing you can do about that other than keep on the path you feel is right and see if he eventually follows you.

Lexie · Senior Member

Danielle,

The way you are feeling is perfectly NORMAL at three days. You are still getting rid of the alcohol in your system and your body (including your brain) is PISSED OFF that you aren't giving it what it has come to expect and demand.

Too bad, body, you're just gonna have to suffer for a little while, here. The worst of it will be over soon--you'll be there soon.

As for finding a sponsor, as someone else said (guess it was on the other thread), listen for women who share in a way that "speaks" to you. It is not usually considered good form to offer to sponsor someone--you have to do the asking. If the person you ask says no, don't take it personally. She may not feel she is in a position to give you the attention you need. She may be sponsoring too many people already. She might be someone like me who hasn't worked all the steps yet. In that case you ask someone else (and asking someone for a suggestion isn't a bad idea either).

Sometimes the relationship doesn't work out for any of a number of reasons. If that's the case, either one of you can tell the other it doesn't seem to be a good fit, and in that case you ask someone else.

Don't worry about what will happen later this week. Concentrate on one day at a time. If you feel like something is upsetting you (your husband brings home booze or isn't being supportive), call someone and talk it out. You should be collecting phone numbers from women at the meeting. Even when you have a sponsor you should still talk to other people.

Hugs, you are doing great.

Jerry F · MIP Old Timer

Congradulations on putting 3 days together Danielle especially in the atmosphere
you currently are in.   You are a newbie...stay a newbie for a while and
follow the old timers around (in the program including MIP) and keep
reaching out and asking for help and how.   This is new; not drinking when
you would otherwise be drinking. Consider how may days you have put
together drinking versus 3 days not and the picture will become clearer.

Part of what you're going thru is "INSANITY!!". That also is temporary
using this program. Gratitude lists (honest ones) help alot. Also take
a gander at the 2nd step and the last word of it.   "SANITY"!!.   Come to
believe that a Higher Power is available to Danielle when she calls upon
it.   That HP isn't your drinking fiancee...no, no, no. Beware of a legend
speaking in tongues of "I can stop anytime I want or I can control it."
Might be more honestly said that the only difference twix he and she is
gender and age.   I'm not judging or insinuating...I am sharing my ESH.
As an alcoholic I hung with alcoholics and I married alcoholic women I
drank and hung with...How most natural!!.

So....write your irritabilities down on a piece of paper.   Crumple it up
when you are finished and then go put that piece of paper in the trash
can. Come back and do a gratitude list and practice the Serenity Prayer.

(((((hugs))))) smile

happycamper · MIP Old Timer

Hang on Danielle, you can do this.

Our own literature tells us that we can get sober regardless of our present circumstances.

Keep the focus on YOU and not taking that first drink. The first few days, weeks and even months can be difficult. but YOU will get better each and every day that you dont drink and work the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Its vitally important for you to get a sponsor and start working the steps.
You have been given some good suggestions here ... please take action and apply them to yourself.

I will promise you 2 things .......

1. If you stop drinking and follow the program the way it is laid out in our book, your life is going to get better, guaranteed !

2. If you continue to drink, your life will get worse, big time, guaranteed !!

pinkchip · MIP Old Timer

Danielle, take a breath....Okay. Much of this stress is stuff you are paying too much attention to. Yeah it's real and the comments and things with your (soon to be) husband are annoying but don't latch onto things that are bound to just stick in your craw right now. You are only on day 3 right now...each day you don't drink is a MAJOR accomplishment. Keep it very simple and if you want to stay sober, let NOTHING deter you. If you do not argue with or entertain your husband's discussion about you being in recovery, he will have to accept it because he will have no choice. You are right that his drinking is about him and not you...I was in a relationship with another heavy drinker and I could not get sober until I moved on from that. Drinking was eventually all we did together. Not saying this is you, but you are hoping and praying he doesn't drink...you are sooooo powerless over that.

About smoking....I could never quit until I stopped drinking. I quit 5 months ago about and it was easy using tools I learned in the program.

Just keep this up and it WILL pay dividends no matter what temporary hard times lie ahead.

Mark

Aquaman · MIP Old Timer

Danielle,
You're doing GREAT! You are breathing air, not drinking and going to meetings.
That's all anyone can ask of you right now and you're doing it.

Of COURSE you're going to be irritable. It's withdrawal.
Capt. Jonez rules with an iron fist, but you can mutiny, because you're not alone.
AaaaaRRRRRHHHHH!

Peace,
Rob

Just Toni · MIP Old Timer

Hi Danielle,

Just a thought, when you find a Sponsor, have a BB, what worked so well for me, was a little Black Book, called 24 hours a day, it has a thought, meditation, and then a Prayer for each day of the year, it was my private little book, I would read it many times, let it rule, or at least guide my thoughts, it was a very private little book, I kept it in my purse, and if I was at work, find a private place to review the day, always consider it my own "personal Power tool"..........still at times even now....it calms and centered me every single time I read it....do not at this moment know what day it is on, but my favorite little Prayer at the end, is "ALWAYS REMEMBER TO WEAR LIFE LIKE A LOOSE GARMENT"

About any clowns rant, in any meeting, they have a perfect saying for that..."Take what you want and leave the rest", whenever I have to listen to bla, bla, bla, what I try first to do, is silently say the Serenity Prayer in my thoughts, overriding anything negative that to me is of no use, and on the way out the door, I figuratively throw it out in the round file my the door as I leave....

ON day three, that's so great, you can do this, any chance of asking just for the time being, if no alcohol could be in the house......

Don't think we have met, so Welcome!!!

Proud of you, another wonderful saying that is a keeper, "My worst day Sober, far outceeds in Quality, my best day drunk"!

Hugs, Toni

-- Edited by Just Toni on Wednesday 28th of July 2010 11:21:06 AM

Mike B. · MIP Old Timer

Danielle,
Nice job on 3 days. Hang in there! Your right where your supposed to be. To the best of you ability stop thinking and try to focus on staying sober just another day.
If you stay sober and take the action suggested by the AA program you can't screw this up. Things will fall into place as they should. This was told to me early on and it proved to be true.