I've been reading Richard Rohr off and on for the last year or so. I can take one of his subjects and spend days contemplating on what he shares. These are three of the several things he wrote concerning 'what a joyful is'.
When your mind does not need to be right. When you no longer need to compare yourself with others. When you no longer need to compete--not even in your own head.
These three things struck me as particularly relevent for me today. All three of those things seperate me from the body of AA. When I surrender, which is often several times a day during stressful times, I am releasing "ego" and allowing God as I understand Him to take control of my life, setting self aside, and becoming one with the unity of our program. Without the body, the unity of AA, and the Steps that help guide us to a life allowing love, relationships, and trust in others, I may as well still be "out there" in the isolation of active alcoholism. Within the company of others in the process of learning to live a sober life, I no longer need to feel apart from, different than, or less than those around me. As an alcoholic, often I can take those same three sentences that describe a part of the joyful mind and turn them into the mind that keeps me away--
When my mind is telling me I am always wrong When I compare myself to others and find myself lacking When I am competing with everyone and everything---and it's all in my head.
Thanks to my Higher Power, I can let go of these feelings that make me question myself and who I am, and recognize I am part of a whole, equal to and a part of..
Thanks for sharing this.... it is quite thought-provoking! It makes a ton of sense though. I am, and have been battling feeling "separate" from AA, for a long time now. I realize that it is the things that you mention that are happening "behind the scenes" in my mind when I am not even paying attention, which get me to that place of isolation.
It is getting better. And looking at it from this perspective helps a great deal.
Thanks.
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
I believe that today I posess a joyful mind. People are always asking me why are you always happy? I tell them it is simply because I choose to be happy. Before AA I never knew that I had a choice. I guess in hind sight without the AA program maybe I did not have a choice.
It is all so different now and I thank my Higher Power whom I choose to call God for this gift.
Larry, ----------- "We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free." pg. 133 BB
I have let people, places, and things dictate my level of joy. For the longest time it did not know about choosing joy. I guess I thought I felt how I felt and that was it. Kept me in a "victim" place. The 3 ideas Chris mentioned When your mind does not need to be right. When you no longer need to compare yourself with others. When you no longer need to compete--not even in your own head. are simple things I am learning how to help me choose joy. This stuff blows me away in a good way. Thanks Chris for the post. Toad
I cannot and have not been able ever to realize joy in my mind; or mind alone. I was taught that it is realized about a foot directly below my forehead...in my heart or my being. "This is a spiritual program and only a spiritual program" is what the oldtimers use to repeat to me. I'm practicing. ((((hugs))))
Before I forget, love your avatar, is that "Plaintree"?
Yes very Powerful words for contemplation. A moments worth is so easy, but a day's worth, another story.....
My choice of words over Joy, is Peace. Came from a book "Love is the answer" where it had exercises of not allowing anything, especially any stressful times to rob us of our Peace of Mind.
Meditations also are so very powerful, and the practice of Active Meditation. AA has taught me how to learn a different and better life, with a God of my Understanding with me at all times....and because we are human, we stumble and then get up and walk taller...life would get dull indeed if we did not have to keep growing....and learning. one day at a time..
So very good to see you here, and thank you for your words of kindness.....WE do this always together.
Wish so much that I saw more of you here, but hey, wishing is a good thing....
Love and Hugs, my dear dear friend of yesterday. So Many times I think of you and how you are doing. XOXOXOXOXOOX
Toni
-- Edited by Just Toni on Wednesday 21st of July 2010 07:03:52 PM
Hi there! You know, I have no idea where that avatar even came from. No idea what happened to my old one from like, three years ago! Ah well.
Yeah, I have been MIA. Somehow, what began as a few hours as a first responder ended up with the fire department sending me to school to be an EMT. So, after nearly having a nervous breakdown ( I mean, jeez, I'm looking at 60, I'm supposed to be able to learn all THAT?) I made it through classes, then had to take the new National Registry test coupled with practicals. I was living on ding dongs, twinkies and pepsi. All just to get initials on my shirt.sheesh. So, been jumping at that, but finally put my foot down (okay, toe) and backed off a bit so I could live a little of these oh so glorious golden years. Yeah, right, huh?
Oh, Toni, so many young people drinking and driving. I've gotten a good dose of reality in my little protected corner. It's a heart ache to get to the scene and realize you recognize the vehicle involved.
Also opened a consignment shop with a friend (can we say over extend?).
All of this was good, though. I found that in the midst of the chaotic, I had to find a way to achieve balance--not swinging to far either one way or the other? Not easy for me to do. But I found it in contemplative prayer. Who'd have thunk? So twice a day I make the time no matter what, to center in prayer to the God I understand best, and during the rest of the time, I do try to find that stillness that is only in my heart. If I can connect with that stillness and find that peace, that feeling that even exceeds joy, then my chaotic thinking will surely follow.....
It feels so good to be "back"... xxxxoooo to you also, my Friend. Chris
That is so wonderful that you pushed your way through those classes, and now can have the true opportunity to be actually saving lives....i am amazed. It takes a very special kind of person to be able to go the scene of a horrific accident and help those that are holding on to only what someone such as yourself might be able to do to save their lives until they can be rolled into a hospital.....the EMTs of this world have always had my deepest respect and true admiration, the behind the scenes person that gets in my opinion the real honor of saving a person's life.....and with your loving nature, can just imagine how soothing and comforting, and at the same time, making the hard calls on what is needed. And for the others that are not viable and no longer drawing a breath, and cannot be brought back. That is the most difficult, right.
As you said a real reality check in that little quiet corner of the world...because it is that, I would imagine the typical teenager would feel the roads there were for the most part never busy, and the Road belongs to them.....
Very happy to hear that you take those twice a day trips to that "Stillness" Place.....where chaose cannot find you....
Wow Chris, I too am sooo proud of what you have accomplished! That line of work was something I had considered as well, but it takes a special person to do what you're doing, and I'm not it!! (But YOU are!!! lol) To be the voice of calm in a crisis... this fits you perfectly from what I have seen and known these past years.... God truly has you in a very specific and special place, Chris. Awesome, awesome, AWESOME.
((((hugs))))
joni
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
