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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Friends....and how they never understand!!!
Post Info TOPIC: Friends....and how they never understand!!!
Just Toni


MIP Old Timer

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Friends....and how they never understand!!!
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I wrote a note to a friend, via email, this was my only childhood friend, ever, and it was so wonderful after half a lifetime to track her down, well she tracked me down, but anyway have been enjoying so much rekindleing our friendship, she is a real love.

and because of our closeness that still is there, I filled her in on so many years, all the drudge, all the glorious stuff too.

Then today,  after writing to her and telling her I was having some blood work done, for something that I have been very concerned about, did tell her, until I know the results, I WOULD PREFER TO NOT talk about it...and left it at that.

Well today I get an email back saying to me....well I hope with this stress, you will not have a drink over this...

My emotions went from so damn angry to laughing so hard.
I have gone through so many times in my life where I could feel my ass falling off, and yes I used that term in my head cause I did not drink, nor did I think about it....HP is my "drug of choice" for calming me down, has never failed me.

God Bless our friends, but sometimes unless you got the Disease, you never ever ever get it...and why should they have to....

So for today she can be my martian friend....and still love her, and her lack of understanding....

I had to get this off my chest, cause it was bugging me...

Thanks for reading out of the daily ho hum of my journal if I had one.....:)

Toni



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gonee


MIP Old Timer

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My best friend and I made contact after 30 years. We were both excited and agreed to meet for coffee. That was 5 months ago and he cannot find the time. My AA friends on the other hand are just a phone call away. One call and we meet for coffee. They have time to listen to me and really care about my welfare.
People who are not like us [God bless them] do not understand us no matter how hard they try.
What's important is the love one alcoholic has for another. We are bound to each in love. That's God's love. That is why recovery began with one alcoholic talking to another. We listen to each other. I do not get bored doing a 5th step with another alcoholic.
Toni, I care. In fact we all care because we love you.

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But for the grace of God.
Just Toni


MIP Old Timer

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Awe Thank You Gonee,

There is a line from a old hippy book, named " Das Energy", and one of the lines states:  "We learn how to draw the lines of discrimination with evaporating ink"....

To my mind that sums up what others that dont understand ..well it fits into that wonderful line somewhere.

One Alcoholic, talking to another Alcoholic, we are so so so very Blessed to have this Program....out of the ashes of solitude and hiding in shame into the loving arms of GOD, and our brothers and sisters that somehow seem to understand just about anything we ever need to share.....

AWE SWEET MIRACLES....AMEN!

Thank you for washing away that misunderstanding with your invisable ink.

We love you too.

Hugs my precious friend, Toni

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buckeyebear


Veteran Member

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Hi Toni
I do understand earth people, because the years I was working the program I got a lot of blank looks and just plain mean smart a_ _ remarks. I found out never to ask an earth person any advice when it comes to anything about alcohol or any related subjects. I was hurt, pissed and humiliated, besides laughing to myself at times also.
When new to AA be careful what you say around the tea totters is all I can say. aww 



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BuckeyeBear
mikef


MIP Old Timer

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Hey Toni! I have been playing drums in and out of bands most of my life,this kind of reminds me of great words by Jimi Hendrix in 'Third Stone from the Sun" paraphased but goes like this ' EARTH YOUR PEOPLE I DO NOT UNDERSTAND,SO TO YOU I SAY NEVER LET ME HEAR SURF MUSIC AGAIN!!I have a million lyrics in my head....  I also have had relatives wonder if I was going thru trauma would that mean I would pick up.They have never worked recovery....Normies! got to love them!!!!!smile

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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Dave Harm


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For me, with life changing events or medical tests... the less they know the better. I shared with a lifetime friend months ago that I was leaving my wife. I said that as an alcoholic, the life I was leading was not healthy for me.

To this day he wants to be my counselor and get us back together... he means well but he has absolutely no idea what is going on... I learned a lot after that though... there are just some things I can't share with a normie...

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"A busy mind is a sick mind.  A slow mind, is a healthy mind.  A still mind, is a divine mind." - Native American Centerness

Creating Dreams, from the nightmares of hell...
pinkchip


MIP Old Timer

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Well intentioned words...I sometimes have to put myself in the shoes of a non AA person. They probably think i crave booze constantly cuz of the amount of meetings and calling my sponsor all the time and such... I can easily see how they would think your activity in AA would mean you were vulnerable when what WE know as AA members is the exact opposite...The more active you are, the less likely you want to drink right?

Mark

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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Lexie


Senior Member

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Heh,

I remember mentioning to my dad once something about my ex-husband being at a meeting.

(pause) (worried voice) "Is everything OK?  Is he having problems?"

My dad (now 81) lives on the other side of the country and he was never around me when I was actively drinking.  I don't share with him that I'm in recovery myself, now.  It would serve no purpose, there is no "need to know."

I have my hands full as it is trying to explain computer stuff to him--neither one of us needs the grief.

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Lexie
    ~ one breath at a time
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