Well Reffner

I personally think it would be gettin sober in the beginning, and staying sober for some is hard.  Guess that depends on how bad one wants to change themselves. I found that getting to the root of the problem of my issues were hard at first.  But once I got to meetings staying sober got much more easier for me.

It helps when 1 has people who can relate,  I had a hard time trusting AA people at first.  But I had to keep an open mind.  And well needless to say I'm coming up on & years On Wednesday.  It works if you work it!!!  Just my opinion

tina

-- Edited by Tina on Monday 12th of July 2010 03:32:16 PM

Staying sober, it isn't even close.  Once I got past 6 months it became easier and easier.  Of course it took me 2.5 years of going in and out every 2-3 months, to "get it" so I was tired of not making it and very determined at that point.  I wasn't going to throw away any more time.  I swear that it wasn't until I got to 10 years that I stopped  thinking about how I'd have 2 more years IF.... 

-- Edited by StPeteDean on Monday 12th of July 2010 04:59:29 PM

For me it was getting sober(first blackout in 7th grade,St Mary's school)...After 25 years of denial,3 marriages,deaths of those around me jails ,institutions and only by God's grace,not death, I finally came to from one last run and I surrendered on the spot.(on my knees) The first time I actually said I'm done for good. It was always,well I'll stop for awhile,wasn't that bad,switch poisons and I'll cut back but NEVER SAID I'M DONE,until that cold December 2nd ,1984 morning,my fathers birthday,who died 18 months before!. The God of my understanding had other plans for me!!! One day at a time I move forward in service and seeking the will of my Higher Power each day...

Getting was easier than staying.

I don't understand the question, to me that is like asking, who is better, Hitler or Stalin, Oil companies or strip miners, or Batman or Superman

Sober to me isn't abstinence, which, by the way is the leading cause of relapse

Drinking for me was just a symptom, an obvious one true, but only a symptom of my inability to live lifes on life terms, my problem was my inability to handle life, alcohol wasn't my problem, alcohol was my solution, life was my problem.

I was never addicted to alcohol, I went on the wagon all the time, I'd detox, go through night sweats, anxiety etc but I'd quit frequently, my problem is I couldn't stay stopped, not without being homicidal, suicidal and bored out of my skull

As far as "Sobriety" goes, with a capital "S" I have achieved that 3 times in my life, and all 3 had nothing to do with me, how to explain, the desire to quit was always there, the willingness was always there, but life was so miserable without it after a time one of 2 things was going in my mouth, a gun or a drink

The first time I got sober it took 5 years from my decision to quit, and the morning I woke up and something was inexplicably different, I went to my first meeting of AA that night, got a sponsor and started working the steps within a week or so, was sober for 3 years, started entertaining the idea I might be able to drink like a normal person, and got up in the middle of the night, poured myself a shot, and went back to sleep, when I woke up I thought it was a dream

It took 30 days before I drank again, but once I put that first drink in my system I had to take it to the end, I started an unstoppable process, I danced with an 800lb Gorilla and it wasn't over until the Gorilla said it was, I went to meetings, kept relapsing, once again it took 5 years before that window of opportunity opened for Sobriety, and the funny thing is I had tapered to twice a month because I kept blacking out after the first shot, wetting the bed, and puking in bed, I had drank maybe 10 times in 4 months, one day I was cleaning my house, found all my old photos and started crying, I just sat on the floor and cried, called a buddy, went to a meeting that night, got a sponsor, worked the steps and was sober until 3 years ago.

The third time, I had only drank for maybe six months, I don't really remember exactly, and I got a DUI, I was tossed out of jail at 5AM in the middle of winter, in the middle of nowhere in a T-shirt in the last Winter storm of the year, I recognized the window, I recognized the pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization and knew I could ride that to sobriety if I went to meetings and worked the steps.

I don't believe an alcoholic of my type EVER has a choice whether to get or stay Sober, I believe a window opens, a moment of clarity, and if we don't leap through that window and grab on with both hands with the desperation of a drowning man and do the work, no power on earth will keep us from drinking, and if we do, provided we keep in fit spiritual condition, no power on earth can make us drink, I recoil as if from a hot flame, I'd as soon as drink lighter fluid or any other poison.

I don't understand people in meetings that say "Today I have a choice",

I am an Alcoholic, I am Powerless over Alcohol, I have never had a choice, I either can't stop drinking, or if in fit spiritual condition, am literally unable to drink, there is NO "think the drink through" bullshit for me, my inability to think the drink through is by definition, what makes me an alcoholic, of myself I have no defense against the first drink, my thinking will fail me, I need a Power Greater then myself, and as the Big Book says paraphrased "The Great Reality is found within", I need to unlock that by working the steps or there IS no "getting sober OR "staying sober"

Of myself, I can't get or stay sober, with the God of my -not- understanding it is effortless, provided I do the footwork, I didn't swear off, I don't even try, it's like I said "my ass hurts" and someone said "brush your teeth" and I did and the problem was removed

Of Myself, I can "go on the wagon" for up to months at a time, once again I am selfish, self centered, miserable, irritable, restless, and discontent, I am a tornado in everyones life I come into contact with, and in conflict with everything and everybody, I am literally homicidal and suicidal, it is actually better for myself and the world if I just have a beer and relax when I am like that, at least then I have a chance to get beaten into submission until I have the gift of desperation enough to work the steps

Drinking is not my problem drinking is my solution, it's just when that stops working I need to find a new solution, and "not drinking" isn't it, Sobriety is.

When I abandon myself to my alcoholism, my life is great, whether by drinking or commiting to the steps and the program, everything falls into place, life is grand, but when I try to take some middle ground, like "not drink" or "to control and enjoy my drinking" my life is a literal hell on Earth

There is no "Getting Sober" or "Staying Sober" for me, there is only "Sobriety" or "Untreated Alcoholism" drinking or not



-- Edited by AGO on Monday 12th of July 2010 10:07:57 PM

pinkchip wrote:

---

I don't see a distinction point at which you can say "I am now sober" and "I am now staying sober" so it's hard to say which. I do know that this year has been easier regarding not drinking, but harder with regard to learning lessons about myself. That has been the difference between year 1 and 2 for me.

---

Thanks Pink, you actually made me see the distinction I was trying to make clearly

I view "Sobriety" and "Sober" as totally different entities then sobriety and sober, when I was drinking I sobered up daily, but it wasn't until I worked the steps and the problem had been removed was I "Sober" or "in Sobriety"

If the question was "which was harder, stopping drinking or staying stopped" the answer is easy

Quitting drinking was easy, I used to do that all the time

Staying stopped is a whole new kettle of fish, but by the time I reached step ten, the problem had been removed

 

Easier is/was getting sober.... I still have a hard time staying sober.. only on 72 hrs right now :( I hope one day I can get a true 90 day coin, but Im sober right now and God willing will stay sober tomorrow... This time I affected another person who I truly cared about in the program, I dont want to get into much detail right now but she had a lot more time than me (years) and we both went out, I am ashamed and disgusted with myself. If anyone cares please PM me..

One day at a time I am still getting sober.  More is being revealed.  I haven't
drank in a long time but as I was taught; "Sober isn't about just not drinking".
Considering Biker Bills last post you can see what I mean.  That wasn't evidence
of being sober for me.  When I get into that stuff its time to initiate another
amends process.  Getting for sure.  

Crawling to the Starting Line,  by far the hardest.....once over the start line, with God finally at my side, staying Sober has been the "all good part" no matter what is going on....

Sobriety Rocks!!!!!

Thanks Brian, and what was the easiest for YOU??

Toni

pinkchip wrote:

---

Others would argue that you haven't even gotten sober until you've made it for like 6 monts to a year so the issue then is getting sober still if you keep relapsing at a few months....most in AA would say you are having problems getting sober...not staying sober. It is a hard distinction to make and people clearly have their differing opinions here. Yes...sober as in not inebriated could equal getting sober....I tend to think it at least means the point at which you are kind of settled into a program of recovery and are working it well on autodrive...Staying sober would probaby be continuing to do all those things over time...

Both challenging, both extremely worth it.

---

Totally agree

That's why they say "relapse isn't possible without Recovery"

because drinking every 3 months isn't relapsing, it's still drinking, you actually gots to have some Recovery before you can have a relapse, so yeah agree, 6 months is probably a good cut off point, by then you should be personally accountable