I am hoping to get some advice about my sister. I know and am aware of her alcohol abuse and today for the 1st time she has told me that she has been drinking heavily for 2 yrs. She decided Thursday night thats she had had enough (when her boyfriend had made her her 6th drink) that she didnt want to do this anymore. Today was very hard for me when she confirmed things that i already knew..such as wakin up and drinking, that her glass was 1/3 vodka, the trips to the hospital she claimned before were anxiety and even as far as sayin she had west nile..were actaully bouts of poisining. Of course there is a long history to this journey my sister has been going through...But she is very defensive, controlling (especially of my nephews and the ability for them to speak to me) manipulative and extremely extremely stubborn...I live far away and today (after tellin me she has suffered voilent vomitting, the shakes, headaches, the inability to eat for 2 days and describing to me what i would consider hallucianting ghosts etc) while doing what i could do best which was listen and encourage and pray she began to halluciante with my youngest nephew home (12) i knew that something was wrong when she described seeing green spots and askin my nephew if he could see them....she then hung up saying she had to go..I called back continously till my nephew answered the phone n he told me she had a convulsion that he called 911. what a scary feelin to have and be so far away. to make the story short after callin all hospitals to find where she was they told me she was stable...PRAYIN n HOPING that this was it ( i told the paramedic about her withdrawl because i knew she would not be forth with and tell them) I thought maybe maybe she will be honest n get help ...Prayin n hopin...waitin for a call from her so called boyfriend....I was called about 2 hrs later from her. She was at home n refused I.V and blood tests. Her reasoning she is afraid of needles...I know this to be true..this is a childhood fear also....but i know that she cannot do this alone n at home...i am worried n hope someone may have some advice for me out there....I cannot say to much I must watch my words with her..I am currently the only family memeber that has contat with her..n i have to tip toe around because she will cut all ties...Anyway..thx for reading this and if u have any advice please feel free....
Hi. Its very difficult to watch someone elses addiction, and the insanity involved.
Theres not much one can do. She refuses help for herself, and even tho admits theres a big problem, is not willing to take action to do something about it.
The old saying "You can lead a horse to water but you cant make him drink it"
I know it can be very frustrating for you. You are in a position of being powerlessness.
Alanon is a group for freinds and families of Alcoholics. For your own peace of mind I can only suggest that you could go to a few meetings , to understand more about this disease of Alcoholism.
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Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
as God as my witness your story sounds familiar.i also have a sister with the same manipulation personality.
my advice, you cant help her until she helps herself.as for your nephew ,he would be my main concern. is anyone watching over him. he has probally already seen too much.
my sisters saw little green people when she was coming off perscription pain pills. i lost years of sleep worring about her. i actually had her committed because i feared for her life. my other sister took over the care of my nephew for about 3 yrs. my nephew was 12 at the time of my sisters being put in the mental hospital. today the relationship between my sister and her son is pretty much destroyed. he is 23 and blames his mom for anything that goes wrong in his life. he of course needs to grow up and take responsibilty for his own actions.the poor kid went thru hell. after his father commited suicide, the only thing i could do for my nephew was take the drastic steps i did ( which i dont suggest you do). if i could save my nephew at the age of 12 from again burying a parent i did what i thought was best at the time.
it took 5 years for my sister to talk to me. my actions i took all those years ago were out of love. i knew when i was standing before the judge, i was taking a chance on her never talking to me again. time healed wounds for us, she knows in her heart i loved and what i did was out of love.
my sister was the "master of manulipation"., fortunatelly i saw thru her.
today she is still struggling with perspricption drugs, she is 49 and looks 60. she has liver spots all over her body from the destruction to her liver. we talk, i even advice her when she asks " what am i going to do. the main thing is not to get too emotionally involved, you have to look after your own health.
my heart goes out to you
you are in my prayers
nancy jo
t
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Life is full of ups and downs
But the faces of love will
ease the pain and suffering
from:My Mother
As Phil has already suggested go to some Al-anon meetings for you, they will help you tremendously. You can visit the Al-anon site here at MIP, read the post, they will help you to understand the disease of alcoholism. You did not cause your sisters alcoholism, you can not control it or cure it. You can pray for her and learn all you can. I will be praying for you all.
That convulsion was an alcoholic seizure...she will probably continue to end up in the hospital and eventually they WILL intervene and get her into treatment. I pray that it comes quickly. It is so hard to watch someone you love go through this, but there is nothing you can do until she asks for help. She will be defensive and hostile if you try to talk to her about it now. What you can do is get ready...have a list of local AA phone numbers ready, so when she asks for help, you can call someone immediately. Get a Big Book ( the text for AA) that you can give her. Attend some alanon meetings and get educated on the disease of alcoholism. Love her and be supportive when she does try to get help. But for the people in our lives, alot of us wouldl be dead.
I am overwhelmed by your responses and thank you all for your advice and ideas. I will take the steps to contact Alanon and do so more reasearch into the disease. Last night was long and i have not heard back from her and have called several times. I am so scared that she has finally opened the door that i have been standing behind for years...and she is possibly shuttin it again. I appreciate your sharing your history and experiences with me. I know in my heart that I did not and cannot make my sister start or continue to drink but it is a feelin of powerlessness. I should let you know that i have an older 16 yr old nephew living there also. But he had stepped out at the time of the incident. I am sure they have seen so much..and yes it is there i worry..but she has made it so impossible to speak to them n has spread such webs of lies that it is difficult to communicate when i do get the chance.
I have made a point that there is teen alanon and other services available to them hotlines etc...if they need to call...even myself though at hard times they must feel as if i am thousands of miles away.
Again thank you all....I will try today to contact Alanon and continue to pray she calls.
