I have been clean & sober now almost 9 months, taking in a couple of meetings a week but I have noticed something I think is quite peculiar....I have become very dis-interested in people. I still enjoy the meetings and sharing. I get calls to go places and find I don't return calls because I am bored with ppl (non AA ppl). Feeling a little depressed over this as I find myself alone/lonely yet would rather be lonely than be with ppl that bore me. Is it just me??? or do others feel this sometimes??
Hey Carlotta, I do not think that is unusual. I found the same thing. The program does more for you than just stopping alcohol. It really takes care of many other problems because it disolves vanity, untruthfulness, jelousy, etc etc. Without all the artificial drama, people do become boring. It sort of makes you appreciate the non alcoholics that live by the same code as AA folks, and you find they are few and far between. Do not be depressed by that, just hold out for a circle of friends that have higher values whether AA or not. I am not sure whether you are discussing the opposite sex or not, but if that is the case, I can only give you some old man advice and that is to look at it like fishing. If you go fishing to bring home a trophy and have bragging rights, fishing is not fun--its work and you end up dissapointed. As long as you are out there enjoying the scenery and serenity of being in nature and taking in nature with all your senses, you somehow come home with a satisfactory catch--whether you reel one in or not.
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
Aloha Carlotta...I see that as quite normal. Once I got into program and got interested in learning it and working it the most exciting thing for me was being around program people and winners. I was on a long high learning curve coming from the pits of hell. I pretty much walked away from all of my drinking family and friends and found myself without those usual drinking associates which included my then wife. After a while it all balances out and new, sober, interesting, fun people take the open seats. Keep coming back, nine months is something to be grateful for and congradulations, and it will get much better as you gain one day after another and continue working the program. In support (((hugs)))
good morning Carlotta, wow, you pointed something out to me that i had not noticed, but my husband has. since becoming sober i have gotten new friends in AA and they are not friends with my husband. slowly i am introducing him to couples so we can do things with my new friends and it does not include drinking. i hardly ever want to do things with our old friends and it bothers my husband. he does not like it that my life changes mess with his way of living. he does not get it, but i will stick with the program because it works for me. jj
P.S. and my old friends are the ones i chose when i was drinking so i had people to drink with..... those were the people i was comfortable with then. ;)
Hi Carlotta,I would not worry about this I have found that my journey in recovery has taken me through many different phases in my life.I play drums in a rock band,I am active member of our programs plus another 12 step program for parents of,I am active member of my church,hunt,run and through all the contact I have with people I still consider myself kind of a loner.I spend a lot of time(whats left) being by myself and reflecting on my spiritual life.My wife and I are very close and really enjoy our time together and we are going through a lot of changes.(something most of us don't do well with!)Stay close with the God of your understanding and all else will trickle down.Congratulations on 9 months.I think this is around the time when we get a little more weird then usual in our recoveries.Facing life and all things not under the influence keeps us aware that even though we put down the alcohol our lives are full of shortcomings,character defects and human things that as our literature tells us can be addressed by a spiritual solution. Pray for guidance, concentrate on our solution ,the steps,and put extra effort on our 3rd/11th steps.That is my daily meditation before even getting out of bed,gives me a firm ground to start the day,given to me by the grace of God.These are some of the things that help me.In support!
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Anhedonia; it's when we temporarily lose the ability to experience normal, natural pleasures.
We alcoholics and addicts have been running the pleasure centers of our brains on rocket-fuel for so long that without it, our brains don't recognize normal pleasures to the full extent that they should had we never spiked the brain-punch. Libido diminishes, friendships flatten out, successes seem unworthwhile and even awesome foods aren't quite as awesome.
During the first 3 months to 2 years our brains (limbic system) gradually heal and simple pleasures will again be consistently pleasurable.
Until I learned about anhedonia; a natural chemical stage of brain-healing I was doubting my HP, doubting my program and starting to ask myself "is this what sobriety is gonna be like? One mediocre day after another?"
I know it won't last forever. Hang in there. You may have a lot of years of brain-blasting to heal up from.
Anhedonia; it's when we temporarily lose the ability to experience normal, natural pleasures.
We alcoholics and addicts have been running the pleasure centers of our brains on rocket-fuel for so long that without it, our brains don't recognize normal pleasures to the full extent that they should had we never spiked the brain-punch. Libido diminishes, friendships flatten out, successes seem unworthwhile and even awesome foods aren't quite as awesome.
During the first 3 months to 2 years our brains (limbic system) gradually heal and simple pleasures will again be consistently pleasurable.
Until I learned about anhedonia; a natural chemical stage of brain-healing I was doubting my HP, doubting my program and starting to ask myself "is this what sobriety is gonna be like? One mediocre day after another?"
I know it won't last forever. Hang in there. You may have a lot of years of brain-blasting to heal up from.
Peace, Rob
THIS is why you are here my man!
__________________
"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
Well all that feedback certainly helps me feel better... was beginning to wonder what was/is wrong with me.. like a anti-social misfit. Thanks for your wisdom!! Carlotta
