Long-story-short: Completed a 2week detox at a "recovery house" 12 days ago, with intentions to segway into a halfway house. I got the application in and just need to fax over some medical records, etc...and then they will set up an interview. Here's the deal: I did the recoveryhouse thing because the halfway house requires at least 2 weeks clean/sober time before they admit anyone. Well, I'm staying with my parents right now and about 4 days ago I got drunk and the past three days I have been stealing hydrocodone from my mother and staying high 24/7. I want to move into the halfway house because I want to live sober/clean, and its just really difficult to accomplish that in this current environment. My question: Should I attempt to lie to the halfwayhouse people about my sober time so I can get in? Or do I tell the truth and then basically start over with the 2 week sober time thing? My parents are kicking me out in the very near future. I'm not sure I can put together 2 weeks sober time at my parents house with opiates in the house. Honesty is usually a good thing, but what is more important- The staff at the Amethyst House knowing my exact sober date, or me getting into a sober environment ASAP...? IS honesty the best thing in this situation?
honesty IS the right thing, starting with an honest desire to get sober
Hi Dods, we haven't met, but I lurked here for quite awhile before I stared posting, so I have been reading your posts for a few years, and you always have a story
why not just give up? surrender
completely give yourself to this simple program, maybe start by asking your parents to lock up all the drugs in the house, asking them for 14 days and just 14 days, go to the SLE tell them the truth and the steps and actions you are taking to get 14 days, and go to 3 meetings a day in the 14 day wait?
otherwise it's just more of the same of more of the same
take action, your sobriety doesn't rely on the actions of others like your parents or this sober house, it relies on your actions and until you start taking the right actions you will keep drinking and using no matter where you are, even in rehab
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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
Aloha Adam...Honesty IS the foundation stone of recovery. Without it you can't successfully take step one. If you lie you are practicing the power and control tactics of a of an alcoholic unconvinced and the run will continue. Honestly you need help from others without interfering with that help and for me the help had to come from others who came from the same jungle I was in and I had to listen and practice. If you are still considering using dishonesty to get what you want and to manipulate your comfort you haven't hit the wall yet. I pray you hit the wall first because this disease we suffer with is a fatal one...it will kill us and others attached to us as we continue to practice it and reside with it.
Be honest and don't let fear keep you from the practice of it. Remember humility also the humility that comes when we're reaching out for help that will save our lives. Remember to say "Please"...help me. I cannot do this anymore or by myself.
Hey Adam. like it was written here and I firmly believe :honesty is the antidote to our diseased thinking.If you gain something dishonestly,the next time it just becomes easier to go to the same place.Honesty can hurt sometimes,but we can find much growth when we face something head up ,come through it knowing we did the right thing..3 of our principles that are indispensible are honesty ,openmindedness and willingness.We have to live in a world of triggers,temptations and reminders of where we were.Strengthening our spiritual principles by daily practise ,with guidance from our HP can buld a suit of armor that allows us to face "life on lifes terms"Be honest,staff may surprise you and let you in seeing the commitment even during your duress,if not you have not violated an important spiritual principle.Let us know how it goes.My sponsor told me of a person he knew that would tell themselves that tomorrow they would pick up but not today.22 years later ,that same person never did and told themselves the same thing everyday for 22 years.Whatever works ..... Ask for the help,it will be available,,,,
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
And trust me, the ppl at the 1/2 way house or treatment center or wherever it is you're trying to get in to will know.
You aint foolin nobody but yourself.
Sounds to me like you're using living at your parents house with drugs around as an excuse to drink/drug.
If you read the big book you will see that it says we can get sober regardless of our circumstances.
Your present circumstances of living with your parents do not make you drink or drug. YOU make you drink or drug.
Think about it ... if you wanted to stay sober and were willing to go any lengths to do that , then youd be sober. Its really that simple. It may not be easy, but its simple.
Adam, I'm going to agree with the above posters. If you go into that half way house, knowing that the rest of the folks there are clean and sober and you've got the least amount of time, you're going to feel like you don't belong there, drink/use and get thrown out anyway. Then they probably won't want you back. I have been seeing a pattern here for the last couple years. You don't seem to be able to stay clean/sober when you are near to and receiving assistance from your parents. I really think that you need to go to a long term rehab (90 days or more) in a different state. I think that we were talking about Del Ray Beach, FL last time.
Hey Dods, The honesty thing is a bedrock that we launch from. If that is not established from the start, the rest does not follow. The firmer you establish the foundation the better. Tom
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
Larry, -------------- All the happiness there is in this world comes from thinking about others, and all the suffering comes from preoccupation with yourself. (Shantideva)
In my past, when I based my sobriety and recovery on lies, it NEVER lasted. Do you think that going into a halfway house is going to "make" you get sober? In my opinion, if you really wanted sobriety, and I mean wanted it more than anything else ever in your life then you would be ready to go to any length to get it. ANY LENGTH. Today, I want to live more than anything else. I can't live if I don't stay sober. If I drink I will die. I am willing to go to ANY LENGTH to maintain my sobriety. Maybe you haven't had enough pain yet. Maybe your not done hurting the ones that mean the most to you. Maybe you haven't taken your last drink yet. Maybe you'll be one of the unlucky ones that die from this disease. The longer I'm in this fellowship, the more I hear about the unlucky ones. Maybe I'm lucky or unique, but the longer I'm in this fellowship, the more I realize how DEADLY SERIOUS addiction is.
I received word tonight that a friend who was sober for 3 years (this time) probably won't ever come home from the hospital because he wanted to drink more than he wanted not to drink. As he put it "I went past the point of no return". I believe that there is a point where there is no going back. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe it's never too late. The alcohol finally succeeded in destroying his body, and he know's it's only a matter of time. He tells me how much pain he's in. He tells me how all alone he feels. I don't want any of that, so today, I'm not gonna drink.
You don't sound willing to me. You sound like you are clinging so bad to old ways and are not ready for this. Why bother? Sobriety is for people who want it. Dean and I said the same thing last time on here and you didn't consider it. We can want it for you but you are really not showing yourself or anyone else here that you want it. You are showing that you are willing to be a liar, cheat, thief, and to rationalize all of it because you don't want to grow up and change. Now, I am saying that in hopes that it will sock you in the face and hit that part of you that knows drugs and alcohol did this to you and you are not meant to live this life.
From what you are saying, it would seem you believe that you can only live in a very very sheltered place where people baby sit you and there is no responsibility and no way for you to make a bad decision. That sounds like a locked psych ward or a prison....That is not recovery. You need to change Adam! You don't need anyone to change or adapt rules or the program for you!
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Hi steve. Im doing ok. Ill have six months sober on thursday. I took a geographic. My time here on the west coast is drawing to a close and im kinda scared about the next chapter, but hey, such is life i guess. How are you doing??
Good, sober again, getting some time under my belt...:) Had bad cravings today but prayed and made it to a meeting ...giving it my all looking for a local sponsor, thanks for answering, congrats on the 6 months man! Big accomplishment, have you noticed good changes and coincidences come into your life these past 180 days?
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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
All i know is that im physically healthy and my head is clearer. I had two days on a pink cloud back in September but other than that it has been a trudge most of the way. Honestly, i crave a drink just about every day. Sometimes the only reason i don't drink is to keep my sober date. Im praying for willingness so that i can begin to see the Promises come true.
Hey Adam, somehow I missed this. Glad to hear that you're sober and healthy. I had a particularly tough time, in my first 6 months, due to post acute withdrawal, a marriage ending, change in living situation, change in job ect... The two big things, that helped me turn the corner from the daily "trudge" were doing my forth and fifth steps with my sponsor and separately with a priest, and praying daily that the obsession to to drink and drug be removed. My prayers for this were almost totally without belief that it would actually happen. I really believe that I had my "spiritual awakening" right after finishing my 5th step, at about 6.5 months. I started having good weeks, where before I was only having a couple of good days at a time surrounded by dark days. The best news was the obsession was gone. I haven't had a serious thought about drinking or drugging (especially in difficult circumstances) since I finished my 5th step. I was a solid agnostic before. I thought that God probably existed but that he didn't have (or wish to have) any power in my life. I, was of course, discounting all of the times I should have died, prayed, and somehow was spared. That occurred to me, on spring day, and as I was walking out the front door, I got this incredible feeling. It was one of those perfect spring days. It was the first time sober, that I was out of my head and in the moment. The sun was shining warm on my face, after a long winter, the birds were chirping, the smell of spring was in the air. I noticed the other animals, squirrels and neighborhood dogs and cats out enjoying the day. And then this thought crossed my mind. I had only talked to God when I was in big trouble and needed his help. I was suddenly filled with a sense of guilt and then a sense of calm and wonder set in. I looked up and thanked God for the perfect day, my health, my sobriety, my home, job, food, family, friends, AA.... For the first time, I prayed, gave thanks and gratitude for all that I had been given, without any expectations or requests. My @$$ was not falling off or on fire. My sponsor had not just told me to do it. What a concept! Immediately I felt that warm and fuzzy feeling, I felt loved and that I was not only going to be ok, but I was going to be happy without having to medicate myself. I realized later that drinking and drugging was an attempt to create that warm and fuzzy (Loved) feeling, that I was missing since sometime in my childhood. The Priest, that I did my 5th step with (who was 25 years sober), told me, just after I finished it, that I did all of that stuff because I wanted to be loved, and that I thought that I wasn't loved. He gave me Absolution and told me that I had been loved all this time, by many and by God, but that I had become hard hearted and put conditions around/on receiving love (and giving it). This didn't make a lot sense to me at first, but in an analytical fashion, I observed how I was doing this, not excepting peoples greetings, compliments, even acts of kindness, as true expression of love, because (down deep) I thought that I didn't deserve it. That all changed after completing my 5th step and believing that all of that, was now part of my past. It was not going to define me from now on. I was changing and becoming a new person. A person that I respected and loved. When I look back on my drinking/drugging days now, it seem like a scary movie that never really happened to me. I've even been able to laugh at most of the crazy stuff, and I have forgiven myself. I was just a crazy mixed up kid, that never had a chance to grow up. I began getting sober at an emotional age of about 12. Next month I'll be 51, but inside I feel like about 25 now. It's kinda cool a little retarded all at the same time lol. Hang in there Dods, the miracle is happening.
