The trouble with holding onto hurt instead of letting go is that you continue to make decisions based on what hasn't been for a long time and you live in that long ago affixing fault and blame.
Hey Donna! I also find this on the other end of the spectrum and today during some readings I came across this from an "Emerson" writing.Certainly have been on this side of the coin says" Some of your hurts you have cured And the sharpest you even survived But what torments of grief you've endured From evils that never arrived!
How many days did I let life slip by waiting for things that never arrived! peace
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Alcoholics hold on to hurt because it's familiar and comfortable, just like much of the other stuff we do, unhealthy dysfunctional relationships etc. it's what we know, it's easier to do what is comfortable even if it hurts and is unhealthy then what is uncomfortable but healthy for many of us for a LONG time, plus we get addicted to drama, look at this board, 2-3 posts a day some high drama situation threatening someone's "serenity" or threatening to take them back out, some bullshit "OMG it's a TRIGGER oh noooo"
I have 2 patterns myself I am baffled about, no sooner do I remove it then it reappears in a seemingly unrelated area of my life, I need to learn what this lesson is, thankfully each "version" is a little healthier then the last but jesus
Thank God for the steps
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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
This also reminds me of research and clinical work being done on shame and guilt. Guilt is a much more healthy emotion because it just means that you feel bad about what you did but know you can fix it (or rather that you can act different next time). Shame is when you feel bad about what you did and you think it speaks to who you are as a person. It is not healthy for anyone to live in shame and that keeps us sick. If we are to be connected to God and do his will, we cant do it while being ashamed of ourselves due to the past. I dont' think God wants us to feel like crap about ourselves forever (in fact I know this...for me).
-- Edited by pinkchip on Saturday 26th of June 2010 05:57:50 AM
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
If I tend to do that I find I become the eternal victim in my own prision walls. My thinking and perception of reality gradually becomes ever more distorted like looking into a wacky mirror in a fun house. Recently I went down that path, kept walking without looking back, turned from my spirituality and ended up spending a night drunk. I know I am very lucky to have come immediately back into AA the next day. And I knew very well the saying, "resentments (hurt) is the number one killer". Throw something at the part of you that is most comfortable stuck in the hurt rut. Heart, Angela
peace