sponsorship

hayestracey · Member

sponsorship

Mike B. · MIP Old Timer

Tracy,
That's a very good question. One that I've had recent conversations with my sponsor about. I've given my number out to a few newcomers and brought several of them to meetings. A few are still in the program with different sponsors and some are still out doing more research. Over here in the states most of the meetings I go to in the state of New Hampshire ask during the meeting if there's anyone willing to be a sponsor please identify yourself. I always raise my hand and state my willingness. My sponsor keeps reminding me that showing up and welcoming the newcomer and raising my hand is doing my part. God will put someone in my life according to his plan, not mine. So in the meantime; I patiently wait and continue to show up.

Reffner · Senior Member

I agree Mike. I trust that God will make it happen when it's time. I've learned that there are so many other ways to share and give back besides sponsoring. Like Mike, making yourself available to the newcomer, either by giving rides, making/taking phone calls, and just being friendly and welcoming can help allot. My home group is rather small, and we don't have a huge number of newcomers at our meetings, so the opportunity to sponsor isn't there that often. I always go out of my way to talk with the newcomer, and make sure they have phone numbers if they need to call.

I'm fortunate. I work at a d/a rehab facility and get the chance to give it away often. I'm finding however that sometimes some people want to take more than I have to offer at the time, so I must use caution to not place myself at risk. The feeling of gratitude I get from this is simply indescribable. There's nothing better than seeing the light come on in someones eyes who truly wants a clean, sober life. I am truly blessed to have this opportunity.

Brian

McGowdog · Veteran Member

If you've been sober for 3+ years, I'd say it's possible you don't need a sponsor and should probably not be a sponsor.

Instead, try this; if the desire comes up, do a set of steps. If you can find someone who wants to go through the steps with you, all the better.

I don't have a sponsor. You could say I had one the first time through the work 6 years ago... but once I did a set of steps, I became sponsor free. You could also say I still have that same sponsor, but he denies it. I rather think of him as a spiritual guide and mentor. But he's also a falible human being and sometimes an ahole... just like me. But he's a 30 year sober step worker too. We do steps yearly. It's a kick. You ought to try it sometime.

I have folks (cousins, aunts and uncles) over in Leitrim.

AGO · MIP Old Timer

This is a good topic because it depends who you ask what answer you will get, there are a myriad of experiences in this arena, and this is one area we tend to think we are "right", the people with a fleet of sponsees swear by their sponsees and look askance at the people who don't get sponsees, thinking they are "doing it wrong", the people who never really had any sponsees kinda sneer at the "big shot control freaks" with their gaggle of sponsees, those with no sponsor recomend that, those with hardcore sponsors recomend that, once again looking daggers across the card table at each other, it's kinda funny

I've had all of these experiences, hard hitting sponsor, no sponsor, nice sponsor, fleet of sponsees, one sponsee, run of 1-2-3 slip sponsees that called me their sponsor so they had someone to pint to if someone asked, basically getting me silently co-sign their bullshit to themselves and others, see? I am working a program, here he is now, this is my sponsor.

The truth of the matter, is when I really get involved, I mean REALLY get involved and don't just go to a few meetings a week and half ass it, as in show up early, stay late and mug newcomers and take newcomers to coffee and read the big book with them I have more sponsees then I know what to do with, and also, I have learned 90% of accountability and the program with sponsees, as opposed to 10% with sponsors, it's easy to bullshit myself and a sponsor, it's not so easy to look a sponsee in the ye and talk the talk if you aren't walking the walk, for me anyway

the following is a perfect example

To be perfectly honest, lately I have been less then half assing it, and it shows in all areas of my life, no sponsees, the bedevilments make daily appearances in my workplace, personal life and relationships, oh...wait, oh yeah, that's the other thing, every single time I sit down with a sponsee and tell them something its something I need to hear myself anyway.....

Like get off my ass and go get some sponsees, because my life is better with sponsees, and a sponsor, and that is my experience

So it's up to me, if I really go hustle for sponsees, and not just kind of make half assed arm waving motions in their general direction and just welcome them and hand them my phone number, I get them

that is also my experience

by the way, none of this is meant to imply anyone else is being half assed but me, I just started to answer and was like...ummm...I should get off my ass

hayestracey · Member

thanks guys for your replies, i will take something from all of them!

i can see how life would be better if i focus on someone else, ina a good healthy way!!

Reffner · Senior Member

I just have to throw out there that it wouldn't matter if I had 3 days or 30 years, the thought of me not having a sponsor is just insane. But that's just me.

Brian