I went to a meeting last night, but was accused by my husband of doing drugs afterwards, or being on something. It kind of bothered me, because I am sober as a judge. After a large coffee and a few pieces of candy, I can get pretty wired,though.
I walked the floor from room to room as I couldn't sleep as usual...I finally found my way to bed. I hadn't a bit more laid down, when I heard the loudest boom...I hear my daughter scream AUSTIN!! He's passed out!
I ran in there. He was in the kitchen floor and his head was against the cabinets...eyes shut,his eyeglasses across the room...I freaked. He wasn't breathing, or responding at first...I blew into his mouth a couple of times and he came too but he was still disoriented. I helped him to bed and sat up with him for an hour or so. My stupid husband got up in his usual form..."What the hell is wrong with you boy? Are you on drugs, or been drinking?" That seems to be my husbands main platform on anything. I could've gotten resentful but I didn't. I told him our son had passed out...probably from running upstairs too quick. "Nah, he's probably been doing something." It pissed me off, because unlike him I truly know our son.
My son is 6'2 and 14 yrs.old. He weighs 142 lbs. and is quite thin. I worry about him. He is very finicky about what he eats and he skateboards all over the place,including the skatepark. On one occassion I took him for an X-ray of his ribs he'd injured skating and his heart rate was low 49 and 50 and since has been low. The nurse said, that if he was very physically fit, that may attribute to his low heart rate. Maybe I should take him back to the doctor soon.
What bothers me is that my husband drinks and smokes weed and has been known to use other illicit drugs from time to time. Why is he such a jerk, when I get sober,or accusing our son of such things? My husband said, all I want is for you Janet to get sober. He said, I can't live with you drunk. I think I'll take him to a shrink too,lol. He resents it but yet he does it. Explain that one. I'm rambling now...just thought I'd throw this out there.
I have to go with Bill on this one. You need to focus on your son and your personal sobriety right now. Sounds to me like there may be a little guilt bothering him, and he may be building up resentments. Show him (words are probably meaningless in this case) that your not going to play his petty games. One of my favorites is "the best revenge is a life well lived". Live your life well for you and your kids, and let him wallow in his own self pity.
Does your husband's opinion affect whether you truly have a problem or not? No it doesn't. You are still an alcoholic and you still need AA. With that said, make your program and your parenting top priority. You and your husband need to get along for the sake of your recovery and for your children's wellbeing. It could be that you and your husband need to talk about trust issues and he needs to work that out with you in couples therapy or in Alanon. My 2 cents. I feel for you though. Sucks to have a hater/doubter for a husband when you are trying your hardest.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Take your son to a doctor and tell him what happened and make sure he knows about the slow heart beat.
I have a pacemaker from a condition known as bradycardia. Basically it is an abnormally slow heart rate. Norm is 60-80 beats per minute. The first symptom of bradycardia often results in a person passing out for no apparent reason.
The slow heart beat does not allow enough oxygen to the brain and you faint. Lying flat the brain gets more oxygen and you come to.
Only a doctor can decide if this is your son's problem. If he was my son I would take him at least for the peace of mind in knowing is there a problem or not.
My Prayers will be with you.
Larry, ---------------- Wouldn't we be better off if we shared experiences rather than opinions.
I thank all of you for your responses. I am very concerned for my sweet son. I am going to take him to the doctor tomorrow.
As it has been said, paraphrased "I have to take care of me and mine." My husband will take care of himself...you can bet on that,lol.
Also, I personally thank you Larry H for your reference to bradycardia. That may not be what it is, but it very well could be. Do you know what causes it Larry?
I thank all of you for your responses. I am very concerned for my sweet son. I am going to take him to the doctor tomorrow.
As it has been said, paraphrased "I have to take care of me and mine." My husband will take care of himself...you can bet on that,lol.
Also, I personally thank you Larry H for your reference to bradycardia. That may not be what it is, but it very well could be. Do you know what causes it Larry?
For some reason the SA node which is called the the spark plug starts to not work right and slow down in some people. Doctors tell me they do not know the cause or why one person will have this condition while another does not It usually happens in older men but many teens and even infants get it and they will need a pacemamker. This is called sick sinus syndrom.
The good news is that with a pacemaker, life expectancy is virtually the same as for normal people.
Janet, I am keeping you and your son in my prayers. If your son has odd happenings like this they may check his blood sugar. If they don't please ask them to do so. Some kids are either hypoglycemic or suffering from juvenile onset diabetes and no one knows about it until they start passing out.
I will keep both of you in my prayers. And to heck with the husband. He is in his disease, so he has naturally taken up the habit of perpetual finger-pointing... he just doesn't yet see the three finger pointing back at him.
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
I dont know how long you have been sober, but if you are well grounded in AA and feel comfortable with your sobriety then look for Alanon in your area and start going to meetings.
I realize your circumstances with a drinking/drugging husband is probably very strenuous to say the least. But you can stay sober regardless.
When I first got sober my husband was still drinking on occasion. He was never rude to me tho. His drinking bothered me and it caused problems .. for me. I talked to my sponsor ALOT during that time. She helped me get thru the ruff days. She suggested that I treat my husband like a stranger and be cordial to him. This helped tremendously. Cuz there were days I wanted to smack the dog poop outa him I was so angry with him. I didnt realize at the time he was just being him and I was the one who needed to accept that.
Today, we have a wonderful relationship and he very rarely drinks at all anymore. Did He change ? Well ... yes to a degree he did. But it was me who did most of the changing.
I feel for ya, and I hope you find a way to get thru the ruff times. Stay in touch with your sponsor or close AA friends. It always helps to share about whats going on no matter how big or small.
Thank you Larry. I read your posts to me. I just hadn't gotten back to you.
My son has an appointment at Children's Hospital Monday. My son's General Practicioner referred us. I told his doctor about bradycardia and the doctor said, that could very well be what it is. His heart rate was 51 this time.
My son said, he almost passed out at the mall last night. I cannot rest until he is tested. I'm trying not to get beside myself on this.
Sinus node...sounds Greek to me, but if something like that is wrong the pediatric cardiologist will find it, I hope.
Check out the son. When younger I went through a phase of passing out. Stone cold sober, no known reason: 5'6" 123. Not unheard of.
Al-anon for you to deal with the spouse.
And OMG, you got sober with him still drinking. Congratulations!
OTOH, HE is not going to be a happy camper. They say they want us to stop drinking, but then we start doing things, and that's just not comfy.
Thank you Rain,
"OMG,you got sober with him still drinking."
Yes, I did. He still insists it is all me and he has nothing to do with it. I guess in a sense that is true. All that is his deal though.
He says, he drinks and smoke's his dope but he is not an alcoholic like me. Oh well. I told him not to bring any booze in the house for awhile. He came home pretty buzzed last night, but it was his birthday...45 yrs. young,lol. I made a nice dinner and baked a red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting. Something I probably wouldn't have done, while drinking. Forget any intimacy though, when he's drunk,lol. I just hate it then.
This reminds me of a fellow I'd met in the program who ran a small liquor store in downtown Nashville. I asked him once, "How the heck do you run a liquor store and stay sober?" He replied,"The way I look at it, liquor is meant to be sold not to be drank." I suppose it has to do with changing your mindset in order to stay sober. Also, apparently it is not uncommon for one spouse to get sober, because I've read about them and have met a few. Sometimes we have to be selfish in our program in order to get and stay sober. Maybe other sheep will follow, maybe not. I will never understand why that too often...they want us sober... just to try and sabotage our sobriety. It's crazy. At least now I'm aware of it. He can stay sick...I pretty much have the world by the tail as long as I stay sober.
Today life is much better. My son has an appointment Monday at Children's Hospital...thank God I'm sober.
