How about prayer. Worked for us. When my son's grades were down, I was out to discipline him in a very stern way. Tried it and it did not work. Not that it was an incorrect discipline method, but it had to be coupled with compassion as well. My wife suggested that we pray for him. I was not totally convinced that this would work. I was not going to spare the rod, but I was surprised how amazing the grace of God is. We all as a family got involved in our church. The minister and a group of elders prayed for all of us.
THE RESULTS:
He completed his Bcomm IST degree, went on to his honours degree. He now runs his company, but most of all he made a committment to serve God in church. We are able to trust him. My wife and I are so much more relaxed and we serve in AA and Alanon. It works if we work it.

Well, clearly there's something going on here.  While I don't know what the requirements of the course are, the grade in "Walking" is probably due to either (1) not showing up to class at all; or (2) not participating in the class.  Have you talked to your daughter's teachers? A counselor at school?  What does your daughter say is going on?

Some intervention here seems warranted.  Get some emotional support yourself from your sponsor and other friends in A.A., pray, and take the next indicated step.  One day at a time; one step at a time. 

My prayers are going up for you and your daughter.
 
Love,
BGG

Secret Squirrell  It's time for  Catholic school.

Glenn,

It doesn't make you a failure....and in the long term not her either.

She reminds me perhaps of me.  I went through a stage of doing everything I could to annoy or get some attention from  my parents (both alcoholics)...(dry on occasions)

For me, at least when they were concerned/worried about me or even angry at me, . they were talking about and to me - I had some attention - I became the centre of their attention. Seems she may be craving attention and for someone to TRULY hear her out.

My parent's achilles heel was that they had a bright academic daughter, good at sports aswell (who they would boast about) .........that achilles heel was exactly where I chose to hit them when i went through what sounds a similar phase to your daughter.

I deliberately messed about and flunked things ...also deliberately ruined sports days - in embarrassing ways for my parents - as in my deliberately walking all the way round the track tending to my nails........guess i'd have failed 'Walking' too!!!!

I craved attention and someone to properly hear me out - and yes preferably with a third party.

I didn't get that till much later in life - but perhaps your daughter and you can deal with this sooner.

As ever, it's only my own experience strength and hope.

Best wishes to you both,
Louisa xx

FlyingSquirrel wrote:

---

 

1	GEOMETRY	F	58	Olson, Darrell	06-15-2010
2	ENGLISH 1	F	31.1	Larson, Cristopher	06-09-2010
3	COORD SCIENCE	F	51.4	Flanagan, Catherine	06-15-2010
4	FAMILY HEALTH	Unsatisfac	33.2	Gudgeon, Corie	06-14-2010
5	NJROTC 1	C-	72	Weinstock, Jeffrey	06-01-2010
6	WALKING	F	52.8	Levin, Joanne	06-15-2010

An "F" in "Walking"??? How does that happen?  Good thing there's no class called "Breathing".

Her attendance is terrible.  I work late nights so it's hard to make sure she gets up on time.  I do my best but it's obviously not good enough.  She is not self-motivated.  Taking away everything like internet & grounding her has not improved anything.  It's depressing.

---

Btw, you are not a failure. I have often felt the same way. My kids are lazy,except for things they want to do. Boy, am I glad that school is out for the summer here. Some counties here have school yr.around. I think, I spoiled them by over-compensating, because of my drinking and because I didn't want them to have to struggle as I had growing up.

I needed to see this Flyingsquirrel. I have a 17 year old daughter and a 14 year old son. My daughter is going to be a senior in High School this fall. She has been one handful for me. She is not on drugs or drinking that I know of...but I played heck getting her to go to school this past yr. as a junior. She would lay there like a lump refusing to go. Her father threatened to beat the crap outta her, that didn't work...I took her cell phone,that didn't work. I talked to her til I was blue in the face. I talked to the guidance counselor and her teachers. I took her to the doctor for excuses,tried to get her to go to bed at a decent hour. She is very bright with a high IQ, but in her mind she found no need to attend school everyday of every week! She finally was summoned to court where she was warned and put on probation for 1 yr. to improve.

She has already used up all of her days, before she starts her senior yr. this fall. I told her this was her last year and she better get with the program or college or Art school will be out of the question. She has to get on with life, because it will be her ars if she doesn't. She is only hurting herself I told her. She told me she was going to make sure she did better this coming year and that she realises it is her last yr. for High School. Guess what,I believe her. She said, Junior year simply was not as important as the Senior year. Okay...and she thinks she knows it all...don't they though?
My 14 yr old son concerns me, because all he seems to care about is skateboarding,girls,and his play station live. He will be a freshman in High school this fall. His butt is going to hit the fan...and he better get with the program. I just have my fingers crossed. Wake up! I tell him. 
How they managed to pass last year, I'll never know but by the skin of their teeth.

I wish you the best of luck.

Hugs,
Janet 


-- Edited by janet on Wednesday 16th of June 2010 03:47:20 PM

mikef wrote:

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hEY dEAN i SWEAR(well i try not to) but I am sure thats sister ANNA bernard,,who used to seriously beat any of us if we talked during the PAUL hARVEY RADIO SHOW SHE USED TO PUT ON everyday at lunch!!! now I know where she went....:)

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I attended Our lady of Brutality  and later  Holy Tyranny.  I learned to embrace the pain. 

 

-- Edited by StPeteDean on Wednesday 16th of June 2010 05:39:49 PM

Aloha Glenn...check your local area out for Alateen meetings...children of alcoholics and if so take her to her first one.  It is a part of the Al-Anon Family Groups and
therefore supportive of AA.   Check it out.  It's not about her drinking or drugging.

Just an experienced suggestion.  

Bari, it's all public information if he pulled it off their website.