Yah, doing ok..... been sleeping a lot when not doing "self care" crap.... off to a meeting tomorrow.... I am on some medication that is probably doing me a world of good, albeit sleepy at the "wrong times" and up half the night at other times (tonight, for instance)....
not on the computer every day lately, which is okay.,... have a few weeks til next class starts online and I get burned out on computer after being on it so much.
still not eating very much.... trying to find something to whip up tonight though, make up for latent meals.... sigh...
music is helping me a lot to deal with my feeeeeeeeelings... (playing music/writing) have a cool person in my life to share this with on nothing other than platonic level and that is good.....
sponsor and I are working on trying to re-trace the feelings/thoughts/frustrations/fears/general insanity and mania that led to my last drunk.... I have been working on a graph and it looks pretty crazy... (and yes, I am working the steps, not just a graph.... were it that simple...!!??)
off to eat something
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
Glad to hear that you are "still suckin' air" Joni
I heard that the easiest way to stay sober was "Breath in and breath out and don't drink in between" Now if we want serenity and happiness that's where the steps come in and I am glad you are working them.
You are part of my sobriety!!
(((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))
Larry, ------------ The road to sobriety is a simple journey for confused people with a complicated disease
Way to go Joni!! keep working it..I also just joined a band on the weekend.I love to play but not sure about commitment yet as I don't want to spread to thin..Thanks for reminding me about "doing the work" each and every day....peace
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
I never quite heard it called "suckin air," lol. I have said, "taking up good air."
Glad you're still suckin! So am I, lol.
Anyway, I may not be going thru divorce yet, but I can relate to not sleeping at times, I walk the floor from room to room wondering what to do with myself. Feeling kind of blank, I eat. Unfortunately, not eating is bad,but so is eating. I have gained 15 lbs. of fat unhappiness. Yet, I think ice cream and cakie desserts have helped save my life. I ate some of the best desserts this past weekend at the family reunion. It was all in one bowl. It had plain chocalate cake broken up and layered (like lasagna,)whipped cream,chocolate pudding,reeses and nestles crunch candy crumbled,english walnutes,peanut sauce,fudge, yum...I'm telling you I couldn't stay away from it. I tend to do everything in extreme,lol.
Thankfully, no one that I saw was drinking this year. I even toured my aunts flower gardens as she told us the names of all the species, plus she cross grows/breeds some flowers,wow. I hate growing things,but I loved this. She has a farm in Nashville with horses and a huge man-made pond on her property that is stocked with fish. Alot of people fished,while I watched the Koi fish in her fountains. I even helped some of the older folks with thier food and plates. I got down in the floor in my aunts kitchen for awhile petting her giant Rockweiler and puppy Spitz. It was cool. I enjoyed myself not drinking, shock! Everything seems to have wonder to it for me lately. Girl you need to eat! You are going to dry up and blow away!
Grief is a funny thing. It hurts like hell, but at least you seem to be feeling your feelings and going thru it, rather than putting off the inevitable, as I once did and am. Delaying just keeps the pain going with no end in sight...for me. I realised just as with funerals, which are for the living and not so much for the dead are a necessary part of facing what we have to face. I am okay with my mothers death now, when I certainly hadn't been for awhile and divorce is a lot like that. My heart aches for you. When I finally decide to face divorce, you'll probably be much better, and you will be able to help me,moi. Everything has a purpose. What you are going thru has a purpose. When you are hurting you are growing. I too get burnt on the net at times...other times I can't wait to get back to it. Keep coming back though. You will never wear me out listening to you about your divorce and recovery. You have much to much to offer.
Hugggsss to you, Janet
-- Edited by janet on Wednesday 16th of June 2010 10:30:26 PM
Janet thanks for posting about your weekend, I felt like I was there too. I find with my sobriety I experience things like its the first time. What a gift. Just wanted to send this...hope its not bad because im off subject.
Thank you. I am glad to get your response. That's the thing with sobriety (at times,more than not) we are often more than sober. Moresoe than the average person. We tend to appreciate the small stuff. Mundane to some is amazing to me.
Hugs,
J
-- Edited by janet on Wednesday 16th of June 2010 03:41:05 PM
