The last four days I have really struggled with memories. Where do I start? You see these memories I thought were long gone and accepted. What brought them to light was an e-mail from an old childhood friend. This is kind of lengthy, but it really has really touched many emotions in me. Humility, gratitude, shock, and many I'm still trying to figure out. So here goes...

I haven't seen this person in probably 40 years. His childhood home was five houses from mine. And we talked a little bit about our childhoods and I knew if anyone knew the answer to a question of mine it would be him.

The question was what happened to his neighbor... my old girl friend from 30 years ago. "L" died when she was 44 and I heard rumors but no facts.

Before I share that part of the story though I do need to give you a little background of my hometown. In the mid 70's the town was a hot bed for future TV and movie stars. Some of these stars, I went to school with and are still on the big screen today. It was also a launching ground for beautiful women who wanted to enter the world of modeling.

"L" was one of these young ladies. She appeared in various teen magazines while she was in high school and had the world at her feet. She was the same age as me and as young kids, we'd play together, walk to school together, and enjoyed each others company growing up.

But as fame started to come her way... she became to good to talk to common folk... like me. And we grew apart. By her senior year in high school this once gorgeous young lady was almost disgusting to look at. She became anorexic trying to stay trim for modeling. But she carried it to an extreme and her life as a model ended almost as quickly as it started.

After my first year in college, I returned home for the summer and found the "old L" who I grew up with. We quickly hit it off and decided to see if we could go from friends to something more serious.

She looked good... she looked strong and healthy... and I got to see her new passion... art. She was an unbelievable artist. And together we both had a passion to drink.

And quickly our life was one of love or hate. If we were sober, we fought... if we were drunk... wow we had a good time. Eventually though, even drunk we fought. And by the end of that summer our friendship was over. That would be the last time we spoke.

But I did manage to keep up on her life. Through friends and family, I learned that she did continue her education and used her artistic abilities on Broadway. First with set designs and as time moved on she learned computer graphics. I was happy for her. She seemed to living the life she wanted as a child.

I never forgot about "L" but I moved on happy that she was living her life. So it totally shocked me when I heard she was dead.

I tried to find out what happened, but news was sketchy at best. All I could get was that her death was "alcohol related." That could mean anything.

Well, my down the street neighbor, "L's" next door neighbor filled in the pieces. The last few years of her life were a steady scream for help.

She hadn't worked for well over a year. Every job she found she was fired within a month for being drunk at work. She lived in an apartment by herself. Her mom checked on her daily... paying her rent... buying her food.

The e-mail went on to say that "L" became a nightmare for the emergency services in the community calling them a lot. They would bring her to the hospital and she would be released an hour later. Eventually, the town told her she could only call so many times a month... after that she would be on her own Her mom came to check on her one morning, like she had so many times before and found her dead in bed.

My heart sank... but the e-mail kept going on. He said how sad it was... her whole life. He reminded me how much her dad drank. Growing up in the early 70s many people still didn't have air conditioning, so on warm summer nights all the homes had their windows wide open.

The note said, that they could hear "L's" dad screaming and yelling many nights with their windows open as they tried to sleep. And I wondered how many of my next door neighbors heard the screams and the yelling that came out of our windows every night.

"L" and I had a lot more in common then I ever truly realized. And I sit here humbly realizing that her life could have very easily been mine... if not for the grace of God...

Rest in peace "L"