I am new to the program and trying to get sober. I am 80% sure I will be fired tomorrow from my job in California. I do not know what to do--if I should take my knocks and exit gracefully or tell my bosses about my disease as I think it is legally a disability in CA. I never used at work but have had underperformance as a result of my disease and have many mistakes now catching up to me. It feels like a house of cards that is falling all around me. In many ways I need to be out of the company to get a better fitting position with less stress so I can focus on my recovery but am scared that a black mark on my employment record will really hurt me right now. I do not think I am going to be accused of gross misconduct so I believe my unemployment insurance is safe. I have never used on the job, been rude or combative, threatened anyone, or stolen, which I think is the basis for gross misconduct. Does anyone have advice? I am so anxious and scared and need help.
This may seem counter-intuitive but don't worry about anything but your sobriety, don't worry about your job, relationships, anything but your sobriety, put all your eggs in the sobriety ie; AA Basket and everything else will work itself out
If You
Do 90 in 90 get a sponsor work the steps out of the book with a sponsor who has a sponsor who has also worked the steps out of the book start reaching out and pulling those behind you up
In a year you won't recognize your life nor will you have any of the same problems, you will have new and different ones, but they will be Gold Plated compared to the ones you have now and you will have tools and support
My experience is also, fail to do any/all of those, and in a year your life will look the same or worse
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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
I lost my job. I lost everything. AGO is right The most important thing in your life IS your sobriety. That may sound dramatic but it isn't.
I can't possibly advise on what to do re opening up about your drink problem at your work (especially since I live in England) all I do know is that without putting my recovery first, it wasn't just my job I lost but nearly my life too.
Were you to be in England I would suggest you call the local AA number and speak to them and get to a meeting.....or if it's too late tonight, then to at least speak to a recovering AA member. If nothing else you will have immediate support to help you through this time. Believe me, so many of us have been in your situation - not once - but many times.
I can finally say(some 7 years later) that losing my job and 'ending up' in AA (which was how I felt about it at the time) was the best thing that ever happened to me. Easy to say now..........but then I was terrified, anxious and totally confused and distraught.
AA got me through. I am now studying again. I want a very simple job even though I am studying quite a high qualification. My sobriety comes first - above ANYTHING.
I know it's not helpful to say try not to be scared. Please telephone AA. They will help you. In the meantime we are here for you - always will be.
WELL DONE on 3 days. That is brilliant. It's amazing how those days turn into weeks, months and years......it really is .....A day at a time............
Kirsten- jump in the AA life boat - right in the middle - where I jumped in.......the help is there. I promise.
Welcome! Congrats on 3 days, that's huge, well done!
As others have said, the AA program if you work it, will mean that you can get thru *anything* good or bad. Get in contact with AA, make working that your number one priority, and like the man says, in a year, your life will better beyond all recognition.
Welcome Kirsten! Yes as bleak as it may sound,your recovery has to come first or most likely there will be nothing else but years of pain,heartache and possibly more.You have a jump on your recovery so you seem lucid,time to go to "work".Follow suggestions and begin your new way of living.You said the job is putting you on the edge anyway.Most employers will give you an opportunity to resign or even if they flat out fire you there are confidentiality clauses that cover why you no longer work where you do.Our company is only allowed to say 'THEY NO LONGER WORK HERE"..Get to the program,find and let us know how its going.people just like you,learn some things about yourself.I would say keep coming back,but think I;ll just say 'STAY"..
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Take a breather. Okay...first things first. You are not the first person in the world to get fired and then go on to much bigger and better things. God's plan for you is not yet revealed so why not adopt the attitude that part of you seems to be leaning towards.... This is all so you can get a solid foundation of sobriety before returning back to work. Furthermore, this will make for a stronger sobriety later if you just keep working the program. You will know that drinking took you to the point of losing a job or almost losing one. In the end, all things will work out just as they are supposed to if you just show up and don't drink.
So with that said. Breathe easy and be kind to yourself. You are giving yourself the greatest gift you ever received by getting into recovery. If you do tell you bosses about your drinking or using, make sure you are really serious about going to rehab and doing it for yourself. The are going to probably want you to go there and it is a waste and won't do you any good if you aren't ready yet....Though it does sound like you are ready based on the little bit you wrote.
Anyhow, Welcome and remember that the only thing you can do to worsen the situation now is to drink or drug over it.
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
I'm a little late to respond but just have to echo everyone here in saying that if you put your sobriety/AA first, all else will fall into place and you will be in a much better situation regardless. It most likely will make little difference how you handle it with your boss, but the most important thing is that you be honest with yourself and get to meetings! Please keep us posted, there are many wonderful people on this site with lots of good experience in sobriety.
I agree, sobriety first!! Wish I would have put my recovery above all else. Without recovery you will have no job, no friends, no family, no life. Let go and let God!
I have not had the meeting with my bosses yet--it's now pushed to Monday. 6 days sober, been to a meeting every day. I got a sponsor last night. I am doing a little better but still extremely freaked out. I am going to the Dr. today to see if I should get evaluated for alcohol dependency. My job doesn't pay for rehab and I just feel like I am up the creek. I don't know if I would qualify for state disability or what, and if I did, what outpatient treatment program I could even afford to go to.
don't drown yourself in what ifs, Kirsten. take each day as it comes, try not to jump ahead. i am so happy you are going to meetings and have a sponsor. those are huge steps. your work and bosses will do what they have to do and you have to do your best in a difficult situation. the saying goes, all we can do is the next 'right' thing. don't talk yourself down or up... just do what the next good thing to is. face the bosses with honesty and confidence in your new path. they might not believe you, but that is on them, not you. my prayers are with you. hugs jj
I have not had the meeting with my bosses yet--it's now pushed to Monday. 6 days sober, been to a meeting every day. I got a sponsor last night. I am doing a little better but still extremely freaked out.
Kirsten, it is natural to feel freaked out, but GOOD FOR YOU getting to meetings and getting a sponsor. JJ is right, those are huge steps.
I can really understand your mind racing to try and find solutions, but you are in the right place for help now ......stick with it and you will find your life will change beyond recognition....for the better.
I didn't believe mine could or would.....but it does. You will, like has been said, look back on this time with a totally different perspective.
6 days sober! My God! That is BRILLIANT!!!! ((((With love & support))))) Louisa
I am also with 3 days. today os hard. I have a husband whom continue to drink and is not supportive. I understand my problem is not his, but man tonight is hard. One second at a time for me throught the next hours or so. In reality I thought to seek someone to listen and low and behold, what a miracle I have been given.
Update: Found an outpatient treatment I can afford, got a 30-day medical leave from my job (not fired yet!), think I might qualify for unemployment assistance while I am on leave, meetings every day, fellowshipping, writing, thinking, praying. Thank you HP. So many unexpected gifts. Today: 2 weeks sober.
