I'm new to this website. I've come here because I've got a small problem. In exactly one week (June 4, 2010) it will be my One Year Recovery Birthday. This is from alcohol, drugs, and bulimia. That's great!...Right? Well, although I've done great and I read the Big Book every day and I do all I need to do... I've been slacking when it comes to going to actual meetings. I'm not going to try and give some lame excuse for it, the only reason is that I'm a shy girl and going to meetings has just been stressful because of the amount of people, etc. It'd be safe to say that I have some form of social anxiety. So now I'm torn because I *want* to go to a meeting for my One Year mark... but I feel guilty for not having gone as often as everyone else does in my home group! I'd love to get a 1-year chip, but I can't summon the courage to go to a meeting-- something that comes so naturally to most of us in AA!! I suppose I'm embarrassed to show up, not recognize anyone, have no one recognize me, and then ask for a One Year chip. Is this normal?????
Any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated!!!!!
Just go!!! Tell them what you have just shared over here. We are all the same. You will be surprised how members react to our honest sharing. Nobody keeps records of others. We have enough of our own problems to contend with. If you share your "shyness" and "anxiety", you will definitely help some one else who also has this problem and does not have the courage to come forward like you have on this forum. Just to give you an example, my wife and I had such a serious fight that I could not find the strength to share this with my group. But once I had shared it, many of my friends came to share with me similar if not more serious issues. Thus my my worst experience beacme an asset to everybody else. Today we share that experience together with a solution which we have found with many a couple we meet. We laugh about it now. Do not be afraid. Ask your Higher Power to guide you.
hELLO AND WELCOME AISSELA! Yes please go,ask God to come in and share as you feel.Don't forget we are "vessels for the newcomer" so we can let them know that by doing the work and sharing in the spiritual journey of the steps they too can be here in their first year..We try and give back what was so freely given to us.A simple message of recovery from alcoholism will always ring true! Congrats on your first year ,that is excellent!Let us know how it goes!!!!!
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
We're all different, Aisela. We each have our own stories. If we don't go share our story then there will be someone sitting at the meeting who won't hear what they need to hear. Nobody keeps records and tallies them up as to how many meetings we have or haven't gone to. The important thing is that we're there then. There will be someone there who at least needs to hear that it's possible to have a 1-year anniversary, whether you say anything else or not. And there will be those there who need to hear what else you share, too. We keep each other sober by our sharing, and we also keep ourselves sober, which is even more important. AA is our lifeboat. Don't deprive yourself of life just because you're shy or you wonder what someone else will think of you. You have just as much right to your life as anyone else there.
Besides, if you feel you can't or don't want to share for whatever reason, then don't. But please keep in mind that there will be someone there who needs to hear what you have to say in the way only you can say it. If you don't say it, they can't hear it and they might die if they don't hear something to identify with at that meeting. More importantly, you may jeopardize your own chance at life with continued sobriety if you put your shyness first and the program last.
Big hugs, for you, and congratulations to your Higher Power and you for the year! What a miracle you are! Thank you for sharing so I could read what you've shared. You and I have a lot in common!
aissela, PLEASE go to a meeting..... alcoholics know loneliness and isolation as no other humans know it. Even sober, if we don't suck it up and make the effort, we die! I tell you this because I have relapsed horribly on more than one occasion, after YEARS of sobriety, because I was not letting myself be surrounded by other recovering people!!!! You are beautiful, worthy, and loveable, and especially among AA's. These are YOUR people, Aissela, and you must go and have that companionship in your life again. We at face to face meetings love you and are waiting for you, I assure you. You are WORTH IT.
(((((((HUGS)))))))) Joni
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
Alcoholics are very understanding people. We all want acceptance, and we get it by first accepting others. Go get your chip and be proud of you accomplishment, I'm sure the others will be proud for you.
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Tell me and I'll forget. Teach me and I'll remember. Involve me and I'll learn.
congrats on the one year WTG!!!!! I dont have social anxiety but i do get anxiety and anxiety attacks, but the nearest thing to social anxiety is well bouts of anxiety around people eugh some situations i cant stand. not the same as social anxiety but i can kind of relate. anxiety like that is horrible its not something can just get over so i hope u can get help for it. I find myself having to go to different meetings if i find a particular one too much.
But yeh bout the chip i would go and dont feel wierd about turning up to get a chip, thats what chips are for, to be gotten and you deserve one.
I also hope you can get to meetings as i agree with other poster who says alkis isolate, i am a natural isolater. My default position in life is not with other people and being a loner but i go mad if i do that even though its more comfortable. I find praying for the willingness to get to meetings helps me.
Im curious as to what your Sponsor recommends or suggests for you ??
-asked by ljc
Well a year ago I was in rehab and then a sober-living facility in CA. I had a sponsor in CA. Then 6 months ago I came back home here to FL. I was going to meetings here but didn't find many people available to sponsor nor someone I found appealing to have as a sponsor. I didn't think much of it and then in January I went up to PA to return to college and that's when I started slacking when it came to going to meetings. Long story short, I don't have a sponsor. And now that I have a year under my belt, it feels silly for me to ask for one. I'm to shy and embarrassed to do anything in meetings! I'm your lamest AA member ever
You are being pretty humble. However you achieved this, you did work for it. Yeah, you should go to more meetings...None of us has a perfect program. You certainly did enough to stay sober for a year. Now, if you hit more meetings I bet that social anxiety will gradually lessen more and more. Either way, what I find most inspirational is that you are just 20 years old and your message needs to be heard. I have only seen like 3 people pick up a year medallion prior to being 21. I think it's amazing and could help so many other young people. Share what did work and that will be powerful. Sounds like the literature helped you a lot. Just my 2 cents.
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
