Been "Showing Up" this week, at AA meetings, as well as "showing up" to do the things I love that are productive and good, which I have left by the wayside not only during drinking, but for a long time before the slip, when I was obsessed with hiding from reality and my own Truths. I was not, for the last year, doing things that made me or my HP happy, I was isolating and stewing and doing the bare minimum to function as a human being.
I showed up at my homegroup and had made new flyers at other members' requests, to announce our meeting, which is only about 2 months old now, and we had a group conscience on which flyer to pick for Intergroup to send around and get the word out about the meeting. Then I showed up for myself, with myself, and all by myself, to do a painting that night which was very therapeutic. More creative stuff, and quite healing.
Yesterday I was working on a research paper and went to a coffee house to work on it with my laptop. The thought occurred, "Why not go to the Just For Today dry club?" I hadn't been there in over a year, and what I was working on at that point didn't require internet (editing, revising). So I packed up and went. I felt like surrounding myself with recovering people, even though I was working on something else entirely.
I got there and had a little "reunion" with some old friends, and some really good coffee. A friend who works there came over and handed me the password to get on the Internet, as they now have WiFi. But instead of doing my homework (I am still on schedule lol), a lady came up to me and said, "Joni, you are JUST the person I have been looking for, didn't know how to contact you, and I am SO glad you are here right now!!!" (someone glad that I Showed Up? For what?)
She is in charge of the pARIDise club's Courtesy Vans that drive people from the clubs where they can park and eat, to the AA Founder's Day Celebration about a mile away, at the University of Akron. It is in a couple of weeks. She and her husband made arrangements to drop off a big wood sign this week at my apartment, which I will paint for them, with their logo, and it will state that wherever the sign is will be where the Courtesy Vans need to park to pick up and drop off Founder's Day guests. I had already made arrangements at school to take this next week off in order to "center" and do some Step work and get back to basics.
A small (?lol) and insignificant task, painting this 2' x 3' sign. But I am looking forward to it. God is plunking some mildly creative things to do into my lap, to not only make use of a special gift he has given me and give ME some joy, but to keep me busy doing "other-centered" things in the process. I have not done any art nor been asked to do any in years. And within the past week when I started to work the Steps again on a serious level, I am trying to let God direct me where to go and what to do, and He is getting me involved with other people and projects that are good and healthy and creative, whereas on my own I tend to isolate, which is not good nor healthy.
Just some fun stuff here, and it came from "Showing Up", which I plan to do more often, with his help.
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
Great stuff Joni. Keep up the good work. Somehow doing service in AA is so rewarding and fulfilling. For me it is a form of therapy, because when I doing things for others I am not thinking of myself and my problems.
In our step 3 in the 12&12, it says meetings are good indeed, but nothing short of continous action on the steps will give one contented, permanent sobriety.
